You have been given this essay as a gift, solely for your own use, please do not copy or show it to any third party, since it may be misleading and harmful to them. Read and understand CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION first, then get in touch with me; if they are ready, I will give them the essay and help them understand it. Incomplete information can be very dangerous.
FEAR, HEALTH, AND HEALING
An Essay on How to Complete the Creative Transformation Process After Joining The Ethical State
by John David Garcia, School of Experimental Ecology, Box 10851, Eugene, OR 97440, 10 DEC 1992 (Names have been changed to protect privacy; all authors, events and times are entirely real.)
WARNING! this essay will benefit solely those who have read and understood CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION and made a maximum effort to play the Game of Life as best they can, thereby becoming part of the Ethical State; otherwise, this information may be misleading, and even dangerous, to you.
A DEATH WISH
I have been in the process of trying to enter the Ethical State for twenty three years. During most of that time I have done my best to be guided solely by the desire to maximize creativity and to reject fear as a motivator of my actions. Although I started this process with many failures, I constantly improved in my ethics and entered ever more fully into the Ethical State. During the last two years, I thought I had fully entered into the Ethical State and no longer had any motivations derived from fear. However, I recently realized that I unconsciously desired to die, although consciously I wanted to live, solely to maximize creativity. I could not understand how the unconscious desire to die could be compatible with the conscious desire to maximize creativity. I thought a lot about this conundrum, but could not figure it out, except possibly that I was recognizing that we all reach a point in life where the most creative thing we can do is die, since the creative contributions we have left are not worth the resources for maintaining our life. Perhaps, I secretly knew that I was not worthy of living, because in spite of all the gifts God had given me, I had failed to help anyone else enter the Ethical State, including my own family. If I could not create an Ethical State for others, then my life was truly meaningless, and all I had learned and done would die with my life.
Keeping in mind that Goethe had written FAUST when he was over eighty, Vaughn Williams had written his ninth and greatest symphony when he was over eighty five, and that Buckminster Fuller was still going strong when he died close to the age of ninety, I felt that dying at the age of fifty seven just meant that I had run out of creative time at an earlier age than my betters. After all, Mozart died at 36, at the maximum height of his musical powers; the thinker I most admired, Spinoza, died at 45, at the height of his ethical powers, where I thought I was now. I felt I had lived long enough; it was time to make room for others to create an Ethical State; it seemed that I had reached the limits of my incompetence; I was probably at the stage in life when the most creative thing I could do was to die. I had a peaceful acceptance of death, and was in no way bothered by its approach, in fact, somewhat to my shame, I welcomed it. I was ashamed, because I dimly perceived, that in dying I would merely be putting down the burden of creating an Ethical State, and that I would not be maximizing creativity.
In early July, 1992 I went into pulmonary edema and heart failure. This was further complicated by type 2 diabetes, which had developed over the previous two years. I tried to ignore the heart failure and the pulmonary edema as long as possible, and went on with trying to put my affairs in order and leave the minimum trouble for those left behind. However, the pain eventually became so serious that I could no longer sleep or function at all. Therefore, I went to see a physician, who put me into intensive care for a week. The pain and major discomfort were quickly eliminated with drugs, but I was seriously weakened. I quickly lost 40 pounds, which was good, but for several weeks after I got out of the hospital, I worked at about 20% of my normal efficiency. My prognosis was poor. However, I was getting better, and unfortunately also gaining weight again; eventually my efficiency went up to about 60% of what it had been; above all I was putting all of my affairs in good order. I did not want to leave a mess behind me when I died. I felt God had given me a reprieve so that I could put all of my affairs in order. That is what I focused on at this time.
My financial affairs were easy to order; by October the only thing that was left to do was to sell my house in Fall Creek and to write a brief in a case I had against the IRS. I submitted the brief to the IRS and turned the house over to a realtor to sell.
After this, I went to look at a small house on the southern Oregon coast, which was quiet, peaceful, beautiful and easy to maintain. I expected to die there as I did my best to finish my work on the Quantum Ark and develop the foundations for a school to teach the curriculum as outlined in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION. I intended to leave the Quantum Ark, all of my other creations, together with my house, to a not for profit foundation, The Society for Evolutionary Ethics, that I had specifically created for this purpose back in 1981. My insurance would all go to my wife. During my life, I had provided adequately, if not optimally, for my wife and children; none of whom showed any interest in creating an Ethical State. I felt that this was the best use of my remaining assets. This was not to be my destiny.
I now realize, that I was seeking an easy death, and to lay down the burden of creating an Ethical State. Through my quantum connection I created situations that made it impossible for me to lay down the burden. My house did not sell, and my offer on the house on the coast was not accepted. Then a few other significant, synchronous things began to happen.
I no longer believed that teaching the Creative Transformation seminars and workshops was a good use of my time, since I had written a detailed do-it-yourself manual for learning and teaching the Creative Transformation process. However, I had committed to teach two more of these workshops -- one in California in September, 1992, and one in Mexico City in February, 1993. Traveling was very hard on me, and I hoped never to travel again, as I completed my work, and waited to die on the south coast. However, these two commitments have saved my life, at least for the time being, and have taught me how better to enter into the Ethical State, and help others do the same. I learned of a missing piece in the Creative Transformation process, which I will now share with you. There may be many more missing pieces.
What saved my life, was my interaction with two remarkable women, Maria, who was a participant in the September workshop, and Orit who was the chief organizer and sponsor of the Mexico City workshop next February. I will tell you about Maria first.
MARIA
The September workshop took place in Maria's home, although it had been organized by a very brilliant, creative, highly erudite, spiritually oriented, mathematician, musician, and generalist named "Ted", who had, unexpectedly, visited me in Oregon for the first time just about the time I almost died. I had known Ted only slightly during the last five years and did not think we had too much in common, in terms of our current goals, although we had an extensive common knowledge base and spiritual orientation. When Ted visited me, we learned that his father, who was traveling with him, had met me and purchased my first book, THE MORAL SOCIETY, 21 years earlier while I was publicizing it at the First International Conference of The World Future Society. Both Ted's father and I remembered the event. Both Ted and I respected the work of Fritjoff Capra as well as THE COURSE IN MIRACLES, which Ted was currently studying in depth.
The first rule of the Game of Life is basically the same as accepting the fundamental premise of the COURSE IN MIRACLES, which in its own terms may be summarized as follows: "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." In my own words, I would say that fear is the belief we cannot create. Fear is an illusion we choose for ourselves when we are punished for being creative. We can overcome all fear and create whatever we need, if we simply choose to play the Game of Life as best we can. THE COURSE IN MIRACLES also puts much more emphasis on achieving, and helping others achieve, peace of mind than on maximizing creativity. For that reason, although I admire and respect it, I do not have unqualified respect and admiration for THE COURSE IN MIRACLES, to which I devote one paragraph in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION.
I also had a warm rapport with Ted's wife, Una, who seemed to have an intuitive, unintellectual, naturally ethical, loving approach to life. Therefore, when Ted asked me to give the workshop in California, after he read CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION later that summer, I accepted. As in all cases of this kind, I received a greater benefit from this experience than any of those to whom I gave the workshop. That is why we should never charge for communicating quantum information to others. Subjecting Creative Transformation, in any way, to economic fear, or any other kind of fear, greatly diminishes our ethical effectiveness. The major benefits received, from giving the workshop, were first interacting with Maria, then getting to know Ted, Una, and others better, than I had before.
Maria was a medical doctor (M.D.), but not a psychiatrist. She had been the head of a medical clinic, when she took a workshop from Stanislaw Grof, a Czech physician and psychiatrist who has written several books on a breathing exercise and general program he has developed, primarily to help people resolve the kinds of problems that people normally go to see psychiatrists and psychotherapists about, but it also seems that he helps others.
The first thing I noticed about Maria, was that she seemed completely healthy, unneurotic, competent, loving, and highly energetic, qualities I have found in very few psychiatrists. I learned that she had given up her highly prestigious practice to study with Stan Grof at Esalen and then to teach, for the past seven years, his techniques to others; she now has a, de facto, psychiatric practice. However, her main function is to teach people how to breathe.
What she teaches, I have now learned, is, under some circumstances, probably the most powerful medical technique ever discovered; it can be taught purely as a breathing exercise without any representations of healing involved. However, it may have deleterious side effects; it should not be practiced by pregnant women under any circumstances, and not without medical supervision, by: heart and stroke victims, persons with wounds, hernias, broken bones, and others, who may be vulnerable to muscular and psychological tension; and never by psychotics. Please heed this warning; (I was not given this warning by Maria, until much later, see Part 2.)
Although I was very impressed with Maria, I could not understand, at the time, how she could give up being a successful physician to teach a breathing exercise, which anyone can learn or teach in a few minutes. However, it takes much more to understand what is happening. As an act of kindness, Maria gave me Stan Grof's basic book on the matter, BEYOND THE BRAIN. In the first brief scan it seemed interesting but not revolutionary. I finished the book over the next two months. My first impression was that this is another brilliant case of psychofraud in the same tradition as Freud, Adler, Rank, Reich, Jung, and many others, as I had indicated in my previous book on these matters. However, BEYOND THE BRAIN was written with such clarity and apparent honesty, and it had transformed so many people's lives, particularly Maria's, that I decided it needed personal experimental verification. As I have stated in my books, we should always pay attention to what creative people believe, while accepting that it may be wrong.
I owed it to Maria, and above all to myself, to study the breathing technique. My intuition was that the breathing exercises were probably highly effective, even if Stan Grof's reasoning behind the exercises might incorporate psychofraud. We can arrive at the correct solution to a problem for the wrong reasons, particularly when we are ethically motivated and are using our perfect quantum connection together with our imperfect reason. I communicated all of this to Maria the next time we met; she did not agree with me, but our relationship was friendly.
Six core people, out of the 12 students and myself who took the workshop in September, continued to engage in Autopoiesis; these were Ted, Una, Maria, Ben (Maria's husband and an attorney), Joan (a psychotherapist), and myself, whenever I could join them in California, which was about once every four to eight weeks. Four others participated sporadically. Two others, should not have even taken the course, since they seemed to get nothing out of it, and seemed to have impeded Creative Transformation for the rest. You should always filter out Creative Transformation students by their ability to understand CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION intellectually or intuitively. In Ted and Una, there exists in a single couple, the two most extreme cases, I have yet seen, of these two complementary types of intellectual and intuitive understandings. I suspect that it makes for a very good marriage.
ORIT
The six core participants scheduled an autopoiesis at Ted and Una's home on November 27, 1992. Just prior to meeting with them, I had learned that my friend, Orit, had cancer recur in the same spot for the third time and was about to undergo intensive, radical chemotherapy in Houston. She had already had chemotherapy and radiation therapy within the last year, and the cancer kept reappearing. I asked the Octet, which on this occasion included two former students of Ted, a couple named Alicia and Alvaro, to focus on how we could give Orit information which would help maximize her creativity and cope with her cancer. Alicia and Alvaro had read the introduction to CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, but did not have an in depth knowledge of my ideas. However, I went along with Ted's intuition that these would be two good participants. Our intuition turned out to be correct; we had a highly creative autopoiesis.
Alicia and Alvaro had four children, the oldest almost full grown. Alicia, who was raised in Mexico, like Orit, was a student and a mother, again like Orit, coping as best she could, while she tried to obtain her BA; she had studied mathematics with Ted. Alvaro was a professional psychic, a native of El Salvador, who had originally taken one course on intuition from Ted. This led him, unknown to Ted, to become a psychic. I told all of them about Orit.
In 1989, just before getting the final draft of CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION ready for publication I was invited to give a lecture (my four hour audio-visual presentation) to an international convention of Empathy International in Guadalajara, Mexico. One of the conferees, who gave his own lecture, also heard mine, and was impressed by my presentation. His name is Dr. Juan Lafarga, a Jesuit priest, the head of the psychology department at the Jesuit university in Mexico City. This is one of the largest private universities in Latin America. He, as well as another head of the largest private university in Mexico, it is considered the MIT of Mexico, invited me to lecture and give workshops at their respective universities, which I did. Many worthwhile things resulted from these experiences. The most important result, so far, grew out of my five day graduate course at the Jesuit University (Universidad Iberoamericana), where I was very surprised to find that almost half of my several dozen students were Jewish.
I have had great respect and affinity for the Jewish people, since the age of 14, when a Jesuit teacher of mine, said the first positive, and true, things I had ever heard about the Jews. Until that time, I had heard nothing but negative and false prejudices about the Jews all my life, from friends, family, and my Catholic teachers, whose teachings, I had secretly rejected at the age of eight. I had only known a few Jews as a child; they seemed very alien, and always the but of prejudice from my peers. However, I was a perennial outsider, and after the positive things I heard about the Jews from my Jesuit teacher, I felt I was more like them than like any-body else. Later I discovered, much to my surprise, that many of my Spanish ancestors, on both sides of the family, were descended from Jews who were forced, over the centuries, to convert to Catholicism. Although I was raised in a strictly Catholic tradition, I felt more Jewish than anything else. Eventually I married a Jewish woman, remained married to her for over 35 years, and raised my four daughters, in the Jewish tradition, although I could never take very seriously Jewish ritual, including the dietary rules, which have an apparently rational basis, in the light of modern science. I now follow a dietary plan, for non religious, ethical, and scientific reasons, that is completely Kosher! (See part 2)
However, I always felt as an outsider, both among Jews and Christians, although much closer to the Jews than to the Christians. Later I realized that, that the only rabbi, I could follow and fully respect was Baruch de Spinoza. Still later, I realized that I also respected and followed the ethical teachings of Jesus, whom I regarded as an enlightened mystic and rabbi, but no more divine than any other enlightened mystic. Hopefully in the Creative Transformation process, we have integrated the best of both Spinoza's and Jesus' teachings. I fully accept the ethical teachings of both Jesus and Spinoza, but reject virtually everything else from both traditional Judaism and Christianity. I suppose this makes me a secular Jewish-Christian-Humanist.
Mexico has only about 50,000 Jews in a nation of almost 90 million, and I was teaching at a Catholic university. One of these Jewish students was Orit. She was one of the best students. She also seemed very young, appearing about 24, and exceedingly beautiful. She was, to my later surprise, 39 at the time. She and another of my Jewish students named "Stela"(a Ph.D. candidate in psychotherapy), seemed to have gotten the most out of the course. Orit's specialty was teaching creativity to young children. She already had published two books on enhancing creativity in children, and she had a very successful school oriented toward maximizing creativity in young children. Orit, was, herself, the mother of two teen agers. Her husband, I later learned, was a very successful electronics engineer and high tech entrepreneur in Mexico; he also was a very impressive, intelligent, handsome man. Stela invited me to her home on this occasion to meet her husband (Ariel) and their truly remarkable children; Ariel's family came from the same remote part of the Soviet Union (Georgia) where my wife and her family spent the last two years of WW II, another remarkable coincidence.
In January of 1992, Orit and Stela, through Orit's creativity institute, organized a lecture and workshop for me to give in Mexico city to about 150 persons at the lecture, and about 60 persons at the workshop; I had never handled more than thirty two persons at any workshop; I did not think I could handle that many students. However, with Orit's and Stela's help, everything went unusually well, although I became very tired and ill. At this time, I got to know Orit and Stela very well, together with their lovely families. Through me, Orit and Stela had become good friends, although, unknown to each other at the time, they had both taught at the same grammar school, and both had been in the same households at the same time in Israel. Another of my best friends in Mexico, Ignacio, later was a substitute lecturer, called at the last minute to substitute for a lecturer scheduled to speak just before Orit, at a symposium on creativity. They both spoke about my ideas, in tandem, as if they had planned the whole thing, and also became very good friends. In September, 1992, I contributed to a third book that Orit is writing on creativity. The previous year, Orit and my wife, had been diagnosed to have cancer of the breast on the same day, and had had exactly the same treatment at the same time, all independently of one another -- a very surprising coincidence. Quantum processes produce many wondrous, synchronous events when we try to maximize creativity; then there are no unforeseen setbacks, only unforeseen opportunities; Creative Transformation teaches us how to optimally utilize synchronicity making it an integral part of our life.
While my wife seems to have recovered fully from her cancer with only a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation, for which I am thankful and relieved, Orit, with a full mastectomy as well as chemotherapy and radiation, had a recurrence of the cancer just before the radiation, plus another recurrence this past November. This puts her in a very high risk category. I felt a very strong love for Orit and Stela, just for being the spiritually beautiful, ethical persons they are, as well as for having done more to promote the Creative Transformation process than any other women I know. It is mostly men who seem to understand and appreciate my ideas, and very few of them at that. Orit and Stela were very precious to me. They had now organized this new lecture tour and workshop session to go forward in February, even though Orit might be hospitalized with intensive, very dangerous, chemotherapy until April of 1993.
I thought, at first, that I might be able to help Orit with an autopoiesis between the two of us, at her earliest convenience. At the same time, she and I agreed that I would have other Octets, with which I worked, see what creative information we could extract from the autopoietic process to help Orit maximize her creativity and cure her cancer. On November 27, 1992, after I requested it of the other seven Octet members that evening, we had the first autopoiesis on this subject. What came out clearly in the autopoiesis, was that Orit had a psychosomatic type of cancer, which she kept reinducing in herself, every time the cancer cells were removed from her body. Furthermore, if she learned to breathe properly, she would be cured and maximize her creativity; this unusual concept came, to my surprise, from me, not from Maria. Maria then invited us all to attend the next breathing workshop which she would be holding in three days. Ted, Alicia, and I attended. It was a transformative experience for me. I will describe it in detail, as I experienced it. You should heed the warnings in this essay before trying it.
LEARNING HOW TO BREATHE
The breathing exercise is unbelievably simple. You simply take in the deepest breath you can in the manner that is most comfortable for you, and then immediately blow the breath out through your mouth as if you were blowing out a few small candles entirely with all the breath remaining in your body. This creates a partial vacuum in the body cavity, which induces one to take another deep breath and exhale it completely in a blowing action through the mouth. This is repeated at a frequency that is personally comfortable, for as long, and as often, as is desirable.
Maria had obtained a personal guide to take me through the exercise. The guide was a lovely, mature woman who seemed to be in her late fifties, and had a lot of experience with these breathing exercises, although she had not learned them from Maria. In fact, she and Maria had just met three days previously. My guide was possibly a more important part of the process than Maria; she communicated goodness and strength to me at all times and gave me confidence in the process by breathing along with me. She sat next to me, and did the breathing exercises with me, as I lay on an improvised foam mattress on the floor. The exercises lasted four hours!
If I started to doze off, or otherwise stopped breathing and exhaling deeply, as was required, my guide would gently touch my shoulder and remind me, without speaking, to resume the deep breathing. Her own deep breathing was also assuring to me, that I was not going to be damaged.
This technique was developed by Stan Grof to help mentally disturbed persons understand the basis of their neurosis or psychosis, by reliving their birth experience, when most people are first deprived of oxygen and develop neuroses or worse in relationship to the fear of oxygen deprivation. As I have said in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, our own fear is the basis of all of our own negative experience; the only impediment that exists to being fully creative, is our own fear. Fear is the belief we cannot create. I felt that, by that time, I had eliminated all fear in my life, including the fear of death and pain, and that I could face anything with equanimity and overcome any problem other than my own inevitable death. I did not know why I wanted to die, other than possibly frustration with not being able to create an Ethical State.
I had realized for the last few months, as I prepared to die, that death is the last creative act of our life, by which we contribute to the evolutionary process by making room for others to take our place in the biosphere, and try out a new experiment in life and creativity. I felt I had no neuroses whatsoever -- no emotional problems, no fear, no neuroses.
However, it is unethical to be certain. In his book, Stan Grof had mentioned that persons who went through these breathing exercises would often, after an hour or so, vomit, urinate, and defecate uncontrollably as they shed their neuroses. Although I did not believe that I had any neuroses to shed, I did not want to vomit, defecate, or urinate on anyone, or have anyone do that to me. Therefore, I found a place for myself as far from the rest of the group as possible, and began the exercises a little later than the rest, as my guide and I had been getting acquainted in another room. I immediately liked her and felt a warm rapport with her.
I gave my guide my latest book, as well as literature on all of my most important activities, and tried to befriend her as best I could; she told me less about herself, but enough for me to like and respect her; she had a consulting business on organizational structure. Later she passed the material I gave her to other persons who became my students. My guide and I went to the main hall of this large church complex, and I began the exercises with about twenty other persons who were all lying on improvised foam mattresses.
My guide helped me get as comfortable as possible, and I began breathing; Maria had assured me that, in spite of my severely damaged lungs and heart, this exercise would not hurt me. I trusted her. My guide breathed along with me; this helped reassure me, as I began to feel a little uncomfortable; by the end of the first hour my hands and feet were falling asleep; I could not understand why, because I kept flexing my hands and feet to ward off the numbness, but I felt very comfortable and at peace otherwise -- just a slight discomfort.
While we did this exercise, Maria put on very loud music, which, according to my mind, illustrated the four basic perinatal matrices mentioned by Grof as inducing mental problems later in life, if they are overly traumatic during the perinatal process. At first I heard a greatly amplified heart beat of a woman as she begins to give birth (Basic Matrix I going into Basic Matrix II); then I heard wild pounding drum beats of an orgiastic nature representing the contractions of the uterus (Basic Matrix II); then I heard heroic music, part of which reminded me of Richard Strauss' Ein Heldenleben, representing the passage through the birth canal toward the outer light (Basic Matrix III); then I heard more peaceful music representing the freedom from the birth canal, and life in the outer world, when we begin to breathe on our own (Basic Matrix IV). They also played erotic sounding music, chanting, and more over the next two hours.
While this was happening many of the other people in the hall were screaming and yelling as if they were in Hell. I figured that this was in accordance with what I had read in Grof; however, I did not feel at all traumatized, although I was increasingly uncomfortable for about the first hour of the exercise. After the first hour, beginning with the heroic, triumphant music, I began to have an ever greater sense of well being, and although I felt somewhat disturbed by all the screaming that was going on in the background, I felt increasingly well; the pins and needles in my hands and feet were soon gone. The total exercise lasted four hours. Soon I began to have clear, lucid visions of what was going on and what my problem had been.
VISIONS
I should mention that for the last twenty three years I have been having visions, usually while I am sleeping or dreaming or shortly after waking up. I have less clear visions during autopoiesis, but my visions, both in and out of autopoiesis, have become increasingly lucid. I have never had a false lucid vision. In autopoiesis, I seem capable of helping others have the same type of visions, but they are usually expressed metaphorically. My lucid visions are never metaphorical, but are expressed directly as to precisely what will be.
All my most creative inventions, writings, and actions have come from these visions. I have decided to always trust these visions completely until one of them proves false; if that ever happens, I will never trust the visions again. This is more rigorous than is required by scientific method, which would usually demand several independent experiments before invalidating an established hypothesis. However, this is scientific mysticism. I assume that these visions come from God, or the Implicate Order, if you are more secularly oriented. If it ever happens that I cannot trust God or my interpretation of what comes from God, then it is time for me to revert solely to reason and scientific method. Almost all practical persons eventually do this.
We depend on our quantum connection, almost entirely, when we are young children. For many of us, our creativity is eventually destroyed by being punished when we are creative and rewarded solely when we are classically rational and scientific. This produces a confusion in our minds such that we cannot distinguish between our creative unconscious and our fear. When we act out of fear, we then believe that we are acting out of conscience. We can then no longer distinguish between our conscience, which is our quantum connection to God, the source of all creativity and the mechanism behind evolution, and our fear, which is the belief that we cannot create. We then continuously project our own fear into others and become maximally destructive in direct proportion to our intelligence; that is why it is unethical to increase the intelligence of destructive persons. We must first focus on ethics when interacting with others, and then seek to increase their intelligence, solely, when they have shown that they are responsive to ethics and do not seem to be systematically destructive.
When my visions predict the future, the future always turns out exactly as I saw it. The last major lucid vision I had, prior to the vision at Maria's breathing class, was in early July when President Elect Clinton was a low third in the polls and all the conventional wisdom said that it was now a race between Bush and Perot. I, myself, thought that Perot was going to win.
I had at this time a lucid vision that Clinton would pick Gore as his running mate and that they would, together, win the election. I saw Clinton and Gore standing on a stage with their wives proclaiming their victory; I saw the stage, their clothes, and the background just as it later appeared on television. I also saw an image of Clinton and Gore raising their arms together in a victory salute, just as it occurred. I did not know what to do with this information, which seemed at best trivial, since I in no way supported Clinton, nor did I vote for him, although I knew he was going to win. (I voted Libertarian.) Therefore, I communicated this information to a few persons who were close to me, and I documented it in a letter to Clinton urging him to do what I knew would win him the election, under more ethical circumstances than he would be likely to wage his campaign, and to choose Gore as his running mate. I hoped this would be a good objective test of my vision and my quantum connection to God. This was the only value I could see in the vision. Betting on the election would have been a trivial use of quantum information. If we are to enter the Ethical State and transform ourselves into a Moral Society, then we must limit all use of quantum information to maximizing creativity, and never use it to cater to any aspect of our, or anybody else's, fear.
I normally kept my visions to myself and did not discuss them with anyone, since, if they were true, they could often be used destructively by others; if they turned out to be false they would merely convince others that I was out of touch with reality. For this reason I have kept the details of the Quantum Ark to myself, although I have already demonstrated that the first laboratory prototype works as predicted. The power of the Quantum Ark is such that I do not feel its right to communicate the details of its construction to persons who have not clearly entered into the Ethical State. I thought that if I died, others could rediscover the Quantum Ark technology. I also felt it was more important to create a creative, highly ethical Octet, than to seek personal power through the Quantum Ark. The main problem for me to solve for the last 23 years, has been, and still is, how to create an Ethical State that does not become corrupt. The power of the Quantum Ark in the wrong hands could easily annihilate the human race, far more effectively than nuclear war. My restraint in the use of the Quantum Ark technology was a test my creative unconscious set for my ego, to see if I would use this technology to act out of fear. If I had done so, I now realize, I would be dead by now. Both the Quantum Ark and Clinton's election have served primarily to give me confidence in my lucid visions and to act upon them; secondarily they served for me to test myself ethically, that I would not misuse quantum information to cater to my or any one else's fear. Clinton later did everything I advised him to do in my letter, and everything turned out exactly as I predicted, including the states he won and lost. The letter and his answer to me are available to anyone who is interested. I should mention that his letter to me was a personalized form letter; he did not follow my advice, but merely did what I predicted he would do.
THE NEW VISION
After about an hour of breathing exercises, I began to receive the most lucid visions I had ever had; they are reflected in all that follows. The first vision was that fear of oxygen deprivation was a primordial fear of all humans, and that it went much deeper than the perinatal experience. Fear of oxygen deprivation is programmed into each cell and is derived from the time when our bacterial ancestors switched from anaerobic to aerobic metabolism, and once again when our more recent single cell ancestors switched from being CO2 breathers to being oxygen breathers, and then would have to go back and forth between these modes, when oxygen levels fluctuated. Eventually our marine invertebrate and vertebrate ancestors had the fear of washing up on land and again being deprived of oxygen; this induced them to become air breathers while they still remained attached to the water through their gills and skin, as are the amphibians today. Finally, they had to risk giving up all the previous safety mechanisms and depend entirely on the atmospheric oxygen, at the same time that the reptilian complex, the center of fear in humans, began to evolve in our ancestors. That is how all fear comes from one fear.
We all are born with a primordial fear of oxygen deprivation. This fear is reflected in our fear of death and in our wish for death. We always cause to happen what we fear most. Fear is the belief we cannot create. When we fear oxygen deprivation, we kill ourselves with cancer, heart failure, pulmonary edema, allergies, diabetes, obesity and other illnesses, which produce oxygen deprivation in response to the fear of oxygen deprivation, and the unconscious wish for death. We cause our cells to become cancerous, because cancerous cells can live with less oxygen, than normal cells. We kill ourselves because, sometimes, for some persons, it is better to die than to live in fear. All death wishes stem from the primordial fear of oxygen deprivation. The fear of oxygen deprivation catalyzes all other fears, and is a major impediment to creativity and to good health. If we can eliminate the fear of oxygen deprivation, which we carry in each cell of our body, and not merely in the brain, then we can eliminate cancer, heart and artery disease, lung diseases, and virtually all degenerative diseases that produce de facto oxygen deprivation; we can go on to be maximally creative, if we are otherwise ethical. For persons not in the Ethical State, these exercises produce merely a pale imitation of this effect; their strongest, ego based fears will still remain, even after doing the breathing exercises.
To be fully effective the breathing exercises must be done within the Creative Transformation context by persons with the potential to enter the Ethical State. Otherwise the breathing exercises can at best degenerate into a useless ritual devoid of creativity, as seems to be the case for most of Grof's students. All allegedly transformative processes must be evaluated in terms of the increase in creativity of their adherents; otherwise they become superstitions.
Children tend to breathe easily and deeply, and always remain creative during the earliest parts of their childhood. As we age, we breathe ever more shallowly and with greater strain; simultaneously, we decrease in creativity as we decrease in ethics. This eventually kills all of us, according to our nature and our nurture. For almost everybody, fear of a lack of oxygen eventually destroys creativity along with life. This is how it happened to me.
I have been highly creative and have become increasingly creative most of my life. Still, I have never been as clever as the cleverest persons around me, although I was usually much more creative. For many years I could not understand this phenomenon, since I thought that creativity was entirely a product of intelligence. It was not until I wrote my first books that I realized that creativity was a product of both intelligence and ethics. C=IE. However, I still gave overwhelming weight to intelligence. It was not until recent years that I began to realize that overwhelming weight should be given to ethics. It is weak ethics that eventually kills us.
With my last book, CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, I finally produced an instrument which would filter out persons, no matter how clever, from an incipient Ethical State, if they were unethical. No matter how intelligent someone is, if he or she is unethical, he or she will not understand my book. By "understanding" I do not mean agreeing with me on any of my reasoning, mysticism, or even any of the scientific facts, but merely understanding what I am saying, true or false. Persons who do not share my values, do not understand what I say and are usually bored by my books, particularly the last. Ethical children, as young as nine, can understand my ideas, as was the case for Stela's son.
As I understood the power and the reasons behind the effectiveness of the breathing exercises, I understood fully the reasons behind my death wish. I wished to die because I felt entirely alone with no one to share fully my visions, my ethics, or my hope for the future. In the deepest sense, I felt myself a total failure. Although I had been given many great gifts, together with the insight to save humanity from self destruction, I was still inadequate to the task.
Not even my own four daughters shared my basic values, although they were all very intelligent, disciplined, and each, in her own way, highly creative and accomplished. My children seemed to take most of their values from their mother. I now understood one of the reasons why Judaism is matrilineal. My wife was a fear minimizer not a creativity maximizer. Her greatest fears seemed to be economic in nature; they were understandable, since she was a survivor of the Holocaust in Europe, having escaped from Poland into Russia just ahead of the Nazis, and then having barely survived World War II and its aftermath in Russia, while watching her younger sister starve to death before her, because there was no food for anyone. I had come to feel total love and compassion for my wife, but I had not always felt so. I had seriously damaged our marriage earlier, and the love of all of my family, by being most conditional in my love and demanding the same degree of moral courage as I had, from those who did not yet have my strength or confidence in their own creativity. I felt, deep down, that the best thing I could do for my family was to die. It was my duty to die for both my family, and the cause of an Ethical State.
I felt that the greatest impediment to the creation of the Ethical State, was my own existence. Once people knew me and saw my human weaknesses, they could often not take my visions or my mystical insights seriously. Up until a few years ago, I would express anger, not compassion and love, when someone seemed to be behaving unethically toward me or others. This alienated from me those I would love. Although I was no longer like that, I had become so disillusioned with my fellow man, that I just wanted to be a hermit and wait to die on the southern Oregon coast. I had firmly resolved that I would do my best from now on to avoid all human contact with persons who did not share my values. Other than finishing some experiments on the Quantum Ark and laying the foundations for the school, there did not seem any reason for me to go on living. This highly negative self image stemmed from my fear of oxygen deprivation.
I knew then, and I know now, that we can only do our best. If we do our best, we always win the Game of Life. As I breathed deeply, I understood with ever increasing clarity that my highest duty was to live and to continue struggling. I did not have to die in order to help others see. As I realized that I could easily provide myself with the oxygen which I needed, I realized that I was now sufficiently creative to solve any problem that had to do with creating an Ethical State, as well as curing Orit and myself. What I could not do (because everyone has free will which must be respected, including their desire for self- destruction) and need not do (because four ethical men and four ethical women are sufficient to start the Ethical State leading to the Moral Society) was bring everyone, or even a sizable minority, into the Ethical State with me. I should open the door to all who wished it, and respect those who chose not to enter; there would be enough entering to create a Moral Society.
At this time it dawned on me that this simple breathing exercise was the most powerful medical treatment ever conceived of by any human; if we could combine it with the Creative Transformation process, it would lead to an Ethical State and a Moral Society more quickly than I could have ever imagined before. The process, which would cure both Orit and me, would take us there within our life time. Our life times would become ever more prolonged as we evolved toward the Moral Society. Just what we knew now, would extend our life expectancy to 150 years.
The vision I had, was that, for persons who are not yet in the Ethical State, the breathing exercises, with proper guidance, may help relieve some severe psychological problems and mild physiological ones. Because these persons are still driven by many fears, other than oxygen deprivation, these fears will eventually bring an early death, no matter how well they breathe; their breathing experience is merely palliative; an "analogon" or mimicking of what happens to those in the Ethical State. For persons in the Ethical State, when they relieve their fear of oxygen deprivation, they are cleansed of all remaining fears and they will never again be subject to death by any of the oxygen depriving degenerative diseases mentioned before. Their aging process will be greatly slowed downed, but not stopped or eliminated. At first, the major causes of death shall be physical trauma, infections, and ultimately liver failure due to toxins in the environment. This would give Orit and myself a life expectancy of 150 years, although we could die at any time from the aforementioned causes, but not from degenerative diseases. Children of parents, who had combined the breathing exercises with Creative Transformation and then successfully taught this to their children, would have a life expectancy of over 200 years. As we evolve into the Ethical State toward the Moral Society, we will discover more techniques, of this nature, which combine classical and quantum technologies to improve health and prolong life. The Moral Society itself will be immortal. Only morality can engender immortality.
ETHICAL CAUTION 1: I am relating my mystical visions to you as I had them. Although my lucid visions have never been wrong before, I may currently be self-deluded, as are so many of my fellow humans. I share these visions with you out of love; I will do my best to test them scientifically. But remember, it is ethical to doubt and unethical to be certain; I may be wrong. The essential process for the new Creative Transformation is as follows:
1. We lead as creative and ethical a life as possible and serve as a positive example to others.
2. To anyone who shows any interest or receptivity at all, we share a copy of the introduction to Creative Transformation; if they are still interested in going on with the process, after they read the introduction, we share a copy of the whole book; or otherwise communicate it.
3. If they read the book twice cover to cover, or have otherwise, even partially, understood it, we continue to help them, until they fully understand, then we invite them to the Creative Transformation seminar and workshop; the workshop will now last five days, and incorporate the breathing exercises during the section on the meaning of fear and how to overcome it. REMEMBER, NEVER DO THE BREATHING EXERCISES WITH PREGNANT WOMEN OR PSYCHOTICS OR OTHERS WHO ARE VULNERABLE TO PHYSICAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL TENSION, SUCH AS HEART AND STROKE VICTIMS, RECENTLY OPERATED ON OR OTHERWISE WOUNDED PERSONS, SUCH AS HERNIA SUFFERERS. LEARN THESE EXERCISES THROUGH SEE AND THEN TEACH THEM TO OTHERS ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN CERTIFIED BY SEE. I recommend teaching, solely, players of the Game of Life, who show a sincere desire and an ability to enter the Ethical State; they are the least vulnerable, as well as the most fertile ground for planting truth.
4. We invite all who successfully complete the new five day, Creative Transformation workshop and wish to continue in the process, to participate with us in Autopoiesis within our Octets and our networks. If there is going to be a sexual imbalance, it is better that it be with excess women, rather than with excess men; women seem to have fewer impediments due to fear, than men, to opening their quantum connection; indeed, women seem to derive their major, conscious, fears from a lack of confidence in their classical brain, e.g. higher mathematics; to creatively transform, men need women, more than women need men, although they both need one another.
5. Those who remain in autopoiesis, for two or more sessions, without behaving destructively, we invite, indirectly, to participate in a new advanced autopoiesis, called "Dyadic Autopoiesis".
6. Dyadic Autopoiesis is performed by two persons of the opposite sex, who have complementary nervous systems. I suspect that it may not work with some homosexuals or between heterosexuals of the same sex, although it should be tried to be sure; my intuition is cloudy on these points.
7. In Dyadic Autopoiesis a man and a woman, who are both, at least partially, in the Ethical State, embrace each other such that they each press as close as possible the same Chakral areas of each others bodies -- Chakra to corresponding Chakra. This is difficult to do, simply do your best and emphasize the forehead Chakra and the heart Chakra; the other Chakras are less essential, although we should try to have contact between all the Chakras in this technique.
(A good reference on Chakras and their relationship to healing is given in a book by Barbara Ann Brennan, HANDS OF LIGHT. I received this book synchronistically just before I went to see Orit in Houston. I knew what I was going to do, but not that it was a type of Chakral massage or that I would be merging auras with her. I had never been into that sort of thing. It was the right book at the right time; it came to me totally unexpectedly in the mail on the day before I was to leave for Houston. When we are in the Ethical State, we always have all the resources we need to maximize creativity. Keep in mind that THE BIBLE, THE KORAN, THE ETHICS of Spinoza, and other revelations, just as HANDS OF LIGHT, THE COURSE IN MIRACLES, BEYOND THE BRAIN, THE MORAL SOCIETY, CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, this essay, and all other perfect quantum information that is filtered through the imperfect minds of flawed humans, who still have fear, will have errors -- sometimes gross errors.)
8. While in the Chakral Embrace within a Dyad, each partner makes the following promises to the other; each repeating each phrase in turn; each partner saying each phrase; the partner most experienced in Dyadic Autopoiesis will usually take the lead and speak first after the other person asks to become a Dyadic Partner:
a. I give you my life and accept yours in return.
b. I give you my soul and accept yours in return.
c. I give you my spirit and accept yours in return.
d. If you die, I shall die.
e. If I die, you shall die.
f. If I live, you shall live.
g. If you live, I shall live.
h. We are forever joined in a single soul; together, we shall be one for all eternity.
You both remain in the Chakral Embrace so long as you both wish it; this will produce a permanent autopoiesis for the two of you that will never end, even when you are physically very far from one another. Henceforth all visions shall be direct and no longer metaphorical. All persons who have entered the Ethical State, thoroughly learned and then taught the new Creative Transformation process (See Part 2) at least once, then engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis, will have ever more lucid true visions as I have had, and will be immune to all noninfectious diseases that produce oxygen deprivation, as well as having their immune system greatly strengthened, but they shall not be immune to toxins, physical trauma, or some infections; their rate of aging will be cut by at least 50%; their rate of healing from all trauma, infections, and toxins shall be greatly enhanced, so long as they will both remain in the Ethical State. This will be true, even if they are physically separated from each other by arbitrarily large distances; our souls are outside of time and space; they are part of the Implicate Order; they are part of God.
If any member of a Dyad should ever leave the Ethical State, both partners will lose all the benefit of their mutual Dyadic Autopoiesis. However, there is no limit to how many Dyadic Partners we can have. The more Dyadic Partners one has the greater becomes one's own creativity, as well as the creativity of each partner. The process will take us to infinity within the Moral Society. A Moral Society is an Ethical State where all its members are Dyadic Partners to one another, and all partners are Moral (E=1). This universal Dyadic Autopoiesis is brought about by each member of the Ethical State engaging in Dyadic Autopoiesis, at least once, with each member of the opposite sex, then all members are all Dyadic Partners to one another.
Dyadic Autopoiesis works by transferring the essential ethical, spiritual information of each person into the other, while filtering out many ethical flaws. What results in each person, if the Dyadic Autopoiesis is successful, is an optimized synthesis of the best ethical qualities of both persons. Both would then end up immediately much more ethical, creative, and less fearful than before, although not immediately more intelligent, than they were before. Remember, that no one enters into the Ethical State fully, without having first gone through the entire Creative Transformation process, engaged in ordinary autopoiesis, as well as having done and taught the new Creative Transformation process to at least one person. If each person has fully entered into the Ethical State, then this ethical transference will occur; otherwise it will not occur. The more that both Dyadic Partners are into the Ethical State, the more effective will be the Dyadic Autopoiesis. This will maximize their creativity within the limits of their intelligence. In the long run, their intelligence will also increase, but not immediately. The more Dyadic Partners we have, the greater will be our creativity.
ETHICAL CAUTION 2: Dyadic Autopoiesis is a highly spiritual process; it is in no way sexual. However, like all aspects of the Creative Transformation process, it may be used selfishly or seductively. This must not be done, or the whole Creative Transformation process will be corrupted for all those so involved. If any of the partners has sexual desire for the other partner during the Dyadic Autopoiesis, the ethical transference will not take place. Any person who has engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis with another person, and later has a sexual relation with the Dyadic Partner, will fail in Dyadic Autopoiesis from the start, unless the two Dyadic partners had a sexual relationship based on mutual ethical love, before the Dyadic Autopoiesis. Sexual partners who engage in Dyadic Autopoiesis, after their sexual relationship has been established, need only refrain from sexual contact for 24 hours before, and 24 hours after, the Dyadic Autopoiesis. We are all ethically obligated to refrain from Dyadic Autopoiesis with persons who are not in the Ethical State, as evidenced by the criteria previously given; it is deceptive to them and wastes time for both. If you want someone as a sexual partner, make sure you become loving, sexual partners before you engage in Dyadic Autopoiesis. Otherwise you are both, forever, sexually taboo to one another. We should never charge a fee, in any form, for Dyadic Autopoiesis; if we do, it will not work, and both persons will have wasted their time, from the start. Dyadic Autopoiesis and Creative Transformation must be given solely with love, without charging any fee for transferring to another the quantum information, that was given to us. Fear inhibits all creative acts.
THE FOURTH PARADIGM
I never saw myself as a healer, although I was a medical student at the age of 22, after having obtained a BA covering the fields of biology, chemistry, and psychology, and doing very practical medical research for one year. My intention, at that time, was solely to do medical research, not to be a primary health provider. As I learned more about medicine, I realized that for the type of research I wanted to do, namely, understanding the aging process, the most important type of knowledge was biochemistry, and not conventional medicine; therefore, I left medical school and became a graduate student in biochemistry. As I went deeper into biochemistry, I realized that to truly understand biochemistry what I really needed to know was more physics; therefore, I transferred to the physics department. As I went deeper into physics, I realized that what I really needed to know was more mathematics, particularly the deeper implications of probability and statistics; I originally had a very difficult time understanding quantum mechanics; therefore I went into the mathematical statistics department. As I went deeper into mathematics, I realized that the academic community was corrupt and destructive to the creative process, although I did not know the reasons behind these phenomena. Therefore, I left the academic community and became a high technology entrepreneur, and became very rich very quickly, almost entirely from my creativity, but I was dissatisfied with my life because those actions which made me maximally wealthy did not maximize creativity for myself or others. Still I followed, unconsciously, the first ethical economic paradigm, that I would maximize my wealth under the constraints that everything I did must increase at least one person's creativity, and not diminish any person's creativity. Eventually, this led me to write THE MORAL SOCIETY to understand why becoming extremely rich, while doing good work, and hurting no one, left me so unsatisfied.
THE MORAL SOCIETY, written in 1970, and published in 1971, provided a turning point in my life, whereby I deliberately impoverished myself and my family, relatively speaking, and began following a new, and hopefully more ethical, economic paradigm. The new paradigm was that I would seek to maximize creativity under the constraint that anything I did must enable me to provide for the minimum well being of my family. The first paradigm had made me rich, but left me unsatisfied. The second paradigm neither made me rich nor gave me any satisfaction. However, the fact that I now had few resources, kept me from compounding my mistakes by insulating myself from negative feedback with money. If I had had more money, I would not have been able to pass into the third paradigm during my lifetime. Almost everything I did for the next fifteen years produced no ethical results, outside of my own enlightenment, and would eventually bring my fa-mily and myself to the point of economic ruin. This gave me the necessary negative feedback to correct my errors, and rid myself of human parasites, which I tended to accumulate under the second paradigm; but this experience was very damaging to all the members of my family, although we always had all the basic necessities of life, and all our daughters graduated from college, and all lead creative, although not maximally creative, lives today. My wife and my daughters all ended up, in one way or another, between the first and second economic paradigms, which is not the best place to be. I could not drag them with me into the second paradigm against their will; although I did not know it at the time, it was unethical for me even to try.
I had done what I thought was best; it turned out inadequate for all concerned. However, in 1984 I began to develop a new economic paradigm, because I had learned much over the years, and I no longer had the fear of not being able to support my family. My two oldest daughters were grown and educated, while my two youngest daughters were finishing high school. It appeared that my younger daughters, would have full scholarships. My wife had just obtained a well paying job and was now independent of me. My financial obligations seemed under control. I could now be as bold as I wished, for now it was only my own life that was at risk. I now began to relax the economic constraints on my activities, and focus solely on maximizing creativity.
The third economic paradigm, which took me at least six years to completely change to from the second economic paradigm, was that I would seek to maximize creativity with no economic concern, other than making sure that I had the necessary resources to keep my commitments to others, before I made these commitments, while I worked on whatever project I thought was most creative at the time. I have been in this third paradigm mode for the last two years. It works much better than the first two paradigms. If I had had the courage to try it, while I still had a wife and four young daughters to fully support, and if I had better known how to love others, I would have been much more successful, and my family would not have been so damaged. This leads me to the fourth and final paradigm, on which I will end my life, whenever that will be, and is part of Orit's and my cure, and the cure of our species.
My fourth economic paradigm is to spend the rest of my life learning, creating, and teaching the new Creative Transformation (see Part 2), Dyadic Autopoiesis, and whatever comes out of them, to all who qualify, with no concern at all for resources. I no longer need to do many random experiments, trying to discover how best to maximize creativity. I now know what the best path is for me. I now know, that I do not have to die in order to maximize creativity. I have been given a new vision, with much greater health and creative power; I intend to use it. My new life and whatever results from taking this path are the last experiments in maximizing creativity that I will do. Its outcome will test the validity of my ideas, which, I repeat, may be wrong. I now put my life on the line, to test these ideas. My whole life is now an unexpected gift, since by conventional medical wisdom I should be dead by now. My life is now part of a larger ongoing experiment in how to maximize creativity. It is the best I can do to maximize creativity with what I know now.
The Ethical State and the Moral Society, to which I dedicate my life, should grow out of the community of Dyadic Partners. Dyadic Partners, in essence, represent a new human species, which is healthier, lives longer, is more creative, is never driven by fear, and always seeks to maximize creativity, by playing the Game of Life in accordance with its rules and the Eight Ethical Principals. The new vision will quickly be shown to be, obviously true, or false, particularly if Orit or I die of a degenerative disease within the next 100 years. The new cures are evidence in favor of the new vision, but many experiments still remain.(See part 2 later on)
ORIT'S CURE
Orit called to tell me about her cancer in early November. I realized at once how serious it was to have gotten cancer at the same spot three times over the past two years. However, it would have been worse, if it had metastasized to the spine or the lungs, as often happens in breast cancer. I offered to go and see her right away, however, Orit was about to take a trip and was scheduled to be hospitalized in Houston on the 24th, at a time when I would be on another trip to New York, Philadelphia, Washington, and San Francisco, primarily to say good bye to old friends, fulfill some pending ethical obligations, and leave order behind me when I died. I was utterly convinced, at the time, that my heart would give out in a few weeks. I told Orit I would see her in Houston, but I did not see how I could see her before she began intensive chemotherapy, when she would be in a drug induced stupor. It seemed the best I could do, at the time, was see Orit after the intensive chemotherapy was over and she had become an outpatient over a period of four months. However, I expected to be dead by then, and she would immediately be put at great risk because of the chemotherapy. She was due to begin chemotherapy before I returned from my trip. I had a strong intuition that I should see her before she began chemotherapy. A series of totally unexpected synchronous events prevented Orit from starting her chemotherapy on time and made it possible for me to intervene on her behalf.
While still on my trip, I tried to reach Orit by telephone in Mexico City, but she was still traveling. I left a message to get in touch with me as soon as she got to Houston so that I could contact her. When I returned from my trip, I had a Fax from her telling me where I could send a Fax to her in Houston, but that she still had no telephone. I immediately sent the following Fax, urging her to hold off the chemotherapy until I could see her in Houston:
FAX Transmission from John David Garcia, FAX 503/937-2314, Phone 503/937-3437. Date: 2DEC92
To: Orit, Houston, Texas. FAX No. -------------
Dearest Orit:
I just returned from my trip to New York, Washington, and San Francisco and received your message. We had an autopoiesis related to your health last Friday in California, which included a woman with an MD, who was a surgeon and a clinician for over 15 years; in the last seven years she has acquired expertise in a new technology for super saturating your tissues with oxygen; her name is Maria; she lives in California. I believe we have a solution to your problem. I will go to Houston to give you the information and teach you a new autopoietic technique, which I believe you will find immediately to be of great help to you as soon as you can give me 48 hours of uninterrupted, private time for just you and me. You should receive this in-formation as soon as possible. Because it is mostly experiential, I cannot communicate it very well in writing. But I will go to Houston at my own expense to give you this information and teach you the new techniques as a gift, as a token of the love and respect I have for you. As with regular Creative Transformation and Autopoiesis, Advanced Autopoiesis must be given with love and never sold. Once I teach this to you, you can then teach it to others, as you wish. I will teach Advanced Autopoiesis, solely, to persons who have already learned the Creative Transformation process and shown that they wish to continue in Autopoiesis. It is unethical to teach it to others. I am confident that you will derive maximum benefit from Advanced Autopoiesis.
I am writing this FAX to you in English to save time and to flow with the environment in which you now find yourself. If you wish me to write in Spanish in the future, I will be pleased to do so. Please telephone me as soon as possible, hopefully before you begin your chemotherapy. Once you begin the chemotherapy, I realize that you may have to be sedated and may not be able to communicate for at least six weeks. What I have to teach you has an almost immediate effect with 100% efficacy. It is another option for you to consider which has zero cost to you, zero deleterious side effects, and will probably solve your current problem with a probability of 100% within 48 hours. Try it and see; you have nothing to lose but 48 hours.
If you have already begun chemotherapy, follow the advice of your physicians and contact me as soon as you are well enough to devote 48 hours of uninterrupted private time with me in an intensive learning experience. I also have a special message and a gift for you from Maria.
I know that Lucas, Ignacio, Stela, Carlos, and the many other persons who, along with myself, have the highest regard, love and respect for you, will be praying for you and wishing you the very best. In trying to find how best to help you, I have found how best to help myself and others who have entered into the Ethical State. Thank you Orit for being who and what you are.
With All My Love,
John David Garcia
END OF FAX
While I waited for Orit to answer my Fax and let me know how I could see her in Houston, I transcribed the previous Friday's autopoiesis, which had been recorded, somewhat haphazardly. (I recommend that all persons record and transcribe their autopoietic sessions, to better under-stand what is occurring) At the autopoiesis none of the participants, other than myself, had ever met Orit. I described her and her problem to the participants in about 15 minutes. This transcription was for the benefit of Orit, myself, and the other participants in the autopoiesis. I gave this transcription to Orit as soon as I saw her. The "unintelligible", "...", and "?", indicate that some or all of the comments could not be made out. The transcription follows:
Autopoiesis on how to help Orit maximize her creativity and solve her problem with cancer. Held at the home of Ted and Una at 7:30 PM on Friday, November 27, 1992
Participants: Ted and Una, Maria and Ben, Joan, John David, Alicia and Alvaro
1. She must learn to love her cancer by understanding what it is; it comes from her life; not from her death.
2. Unintelligible.
3. You love cancer by embracing and kissing it; not fearing it.
4. I see Orit going through a door.
5. Unintelligible
6. Both life and death come from within ourselves; we can choose either one.
7. I see Orit walking up a mountain; there is a cold strong wind coming from the top of the mountain trying to blow her back; she keeps pushing against the wind going toward the top;
8. To get to the top you have to work with the wind; not against it.
9. She has her face into the wind and she has narrowed her eyes so that she can see; the wind is blowing full into her face and her hair is being blown back; she keeps making progress but it gets harder and harder as she gets closer to the top.
10. One of the things that I was looking, from the information that I am getting, is that Orit has a lot of responsibility for other people; and letting go of the responsibility for other people; and you have to look at yourself and give yourself time; the reason you have cancer is that you have too much responsibility; you need more time; your current situation creates fear of confusion for you; we only have ourselves.
11. The best way to get to the top of the mountain is to go around it in a spiral; we move up as we move around it.
12. Our first obligation is always to ourselves; if we cannot help ourselves, then we cannot help others.
13. Unintelligible.
14. The sun? has sunk down in its frame.
15. The choice is always ours.
16. ? Avoid death seek life.
17. Unintelligible
18. Maybe Orit has too much to live for?
19. ? Orit may be living too much for us?
20. Orit must learn how to breathe.
21. I see a door that leads to ... center with furniture...I see a strong direction ? through the door?
22. The choice is Orit's to pass through the door, to stand before it, or to walk away from it.
23. Unintelligible.
24. On one side of the door is a little girl sitting by herself at a little table. On the other side she is one of many sitting in a large circle.
25. She is with a doll when she is alone.
26. Orit is full of love.
27. Very strangely she seems to have more love for others -- more than for herself.
28. Love is on both sides of the door; it is on the path up the mountain as well as at the top.
29. It is all around the mountain.
30. There is music pulsating through Orit; she is full of music - joy.
31. I feel great love for Orit.
32. I want to dance with Orit.
33. I see her dancing gracefully and lightly, filled with energy; she leaps from one part of the mountain to the other, effortlessly; she no longer has any impediments to her movements; she has infinite power within her self to go anywhere and to do anything.
34. ? She is soaring like an eagle.
35. Orit will teach us more than we will teach her.
36. I am in bed with head phones listening to music and completely indulging in dancing movements.
37. She is traveling on sound.
38. Orit will teach us all how to breathe; and in teaching us she will live.
39. We breathe with more than with our lungs.
40. Orit has the freedom to choose; there is no up, down, or around; she is in eternity; each breath brings life.
41. The breath we take is the breath we give.
42. Breathe life into others; then we become the others; we are all one breath.
43. Breathe in life by breathing out life.
44. I see Orit opening up a fig and looking at all the seeds turned inward; they seem like separated seeds; there is moistness and a little potato bug turned inward into a circle and opening up and little legs reaching out.
45. The scar on Orit's chest looks like the inside of the fig; the seeds are cancerous nodules.
46. The cancer is when the fig seeds are all gummy; when they are separate they can heal.
47. The skin is pealing off like a snake does; there is a pinkish nasty body growing; the flesh is growing joyfully, gracious.
48. There is an image of a kid; as if lying and monkeying about, looking at the sky and seeing a bridge to a tree; there are big bunches of grapes; a grape arbor; the beauty of seeing through the translucence of the ripe grapes; the sunlight comes through the ripe grapes.
49. Orit is standing in front of a huge cherry tree with some white blossoms; white, white, white -- overwhelming white blossoms; huge blossoms; the power of life; demonstration of life as I ?see it through flowers in abundance.
50. I feel great strength coming out of Orit and nourishing us all.
51. Surges of love from her body.
52. I feel the same.
53. I feel the same.
54. I feel joyful.
55. Abundance, abundance of life and joy;
56. I see a beautiful, ripe pomegranate bursting; so ripe it splits open; the seeds spill out;
and they have a whitish membrane that is clean and pure.
57. I see a beautiful rose opening full and smell its fragrance which fills the air.
58. Orit is a rose and her petals have embraced us all.
59. Unintelligible ... Orit can you see the light?
60. Each breath we take helps her to expand.
61. Orit's life is just beginning.
62. There is infinite potential ahead of her.
63. I know there are many opportunities to laugh; take them.
64. At another time we will seek her out and we will find Orit; we have shown her how to fly; it is an unexpected flight.
65. Orit has lovely wings as she soars into the sky; she smiles as she looks back at us; she swoops down to be among us then swoops back up again.
66. The thing that I am now looking at is that when you negotiate your contract for being in your body; I can see the cancer cells moving out just like they moved in; leaving the body.
67. Organize those cells and realize that as a group the wisest thing to do is to throw them away; the most powerful of them; get them to influence the rest.
68. You do not have to die in order to grow wings.
69. Orit, I will respect your choice either way; I will support you with all of my heart.
70. I think of ... a ... film; having the cancer cells join and linking arms with one another and doing a line dance weaving in and out -- like a figure eight -- leaving the body in a figure eight formation; there is a rhythm and a harmonic that they wage; they are easy to tune to and respond to; it is your choice; they are very sensitive to your wish.
71. Every cell in our body is sensitive to our mind; each cell is an extension of our mind; each cancer cell is a ? ball.
72. Cancer cells are musicians; they will play together if you let them.
73. Cancer is an attempt to create coherence between our cells.
74. All coherence comes from within; we all have the same within.
75. There can be no incoherence in the presence of love.
76. It is a good time for ripeness -- for fullness; a time for harvesting and giving figs.
77. Time for synthesis.
78. Organizing cancer cells in a simple configuration; it is too complex, confusing, throws off?
71. We are an ocean of life; with every breath we create a brand new wave; every human is a brand new creation.
72. I encourage you to stay in and let sound wing through your body; pure tone; let your body resonate; and cells fill the cavity.
73. As Orit listens to Die Kunst Der Fuge, all her cells will become coherent.
74. I (Maria) invite Orit to visit me and let us listen together to ... and Bach's Magnificat.
75. Orit will come to see you.
76. We all breathe as one.
End of Autopoiesis
By the time that the rest of the Octet receive this transcription of our Autopoiesis, I will have met with Orit, taught her the breathing techniques I learned from Maria after the Autopoiesis, discussed all these things with her, and taught her a new form of advanced Autopoiesis which is helpful to those who have entered into the Ethical State. You should all study this transcript; we will interpret it by consensus next time we meet at Maria's and Ben's at 7:30 PM on Friday the 22 of January. My love to all of you. John David
END OF AUTOPOIESIS TRANSCRIPTION.
I finally got to Orit's apartment in Houston at 11:30 PM on Friday the 4th of December. Although we were both very tired, we immediately went over the autopoiesis transcription. Orit was amazed at how accurately and insightfully an autopoiesis by people who did not know her reflected her life and her illness. She said she looked forward to meeting with me the next day and beginning the process. I told her I was confident that she would be cured, but I was not sure of the details. This was the first time I had done any of this; I was still groping.
We went to bed about 1:00 AM. Orit slept with her 18 year old daughter in the master bedroom, and I slept in the other bedroom. I was up, but feeling a little tired, by 8:00 AM. I had always suffered a lot from jet lag, but less so on this trip than ever before. Orit was up about 9:30 AM. We sat down about 10:30 AM to start the process. We had decided that all of our sessions would be in private in the bedroom I was using, while her daughter had the run of the rest of the apartment.
I went over the Creative Transformation process to clarify Orit's understanding of it. We went over the autopoiesis transcript in detail, and resolved that Orit kept inducing the cancer in herself because of some unknown fears. We discussed her conscious fears, and decided that some of the emotional baggage that she carried could be gotten rid of immediately. The most obvious thing was to forgive and love her worst enemies. It turns out that Orit only had two people in the world that she truly resented and saw as enemies. As we discussed this, we discovered through mutual insight that Orit's former partner, Malja, had become her professional, intellectual, and spiritual rival. Orit felt betrayed, and felt deep resentment against her.
I urged Orit to forgive Malja in her heart, and to immediately telephone, or write a letter to her, telling her how much she loved her and asking Malja's forgiveness for the resentment she felt against her. I cautioned Orit to forgive Malja only in her heart, and not to tell Malja she was forgiving her, but to ask instead for Malja's forgiveness. It is patronizing and shows a false love to tell someone that we forgive them. We should always follow the first rule of the Game of Life, and assume that if another hurts us or causes us to feel any negative emotions, we are entirely responsible for the situation and have no one to blame but ourselves. This is the attitude that is most conducive to maximizing creativity.
Malja could not be reached by telephone, but Orit wrote a very beautiful letter to her which she showed to me. It seems that Orit truly loved Malja very much, but that their professional jealousy caused deep ambivalence between them. Although they both went to a couples counselor for friends, they ended up fighting and blaming each other for the fear each had of the other. Orit could not resolve the conflict ethically, therefore she chose to die to make room for her friend, whom she loved, and to end the ambivalence and negativity she felt. This was, of course, part of the problem, but not all of it; she still had to discover experientially the connection between her negative emotions and her fear of oxygen deprivation, and to confront all her fears.
I took Orit's letter to Malja to mail. I also had to buy a quality tape player, so that we could play appropriate music while Orit engaged in the breathing exercises that afternoon. I asked Orit to write another letter to the other person she most resented, who was her former gynecologist, who had been her physician for over 15 years. It seems that Orit had detected a very small, less than one centimeter, lump near the surface of her breast and had immediately gone to see her physician with the fear that it might be cancer. He assured her that it was a benign tumor and that she had nothing to worry about. Over the following months, as the tumor grew to its four centimeter diameter, the gynecologist kept assuring her that it was benign. Finally Orit went to another physician, discovered that she had cancer, and there began her two year ordeal which was now threatening to kill her. She was to write the second letter, eat lunch, and rest while I was gone. I left at 12:30 PM and returned at 2:00 PM, as I had trouble finding an appropriate tape player, in the strange and rambling city of Houston.
When I returned, Orit had neither written the letter to her gynecologist nor rested, although she had just finished having lunch. It is important to let about two hours pass after eating before doing the exercises. I suggested that she rest, while I set up the tape player for her, and tested it and the tapes I brought. I had made the tapes from my own music library at the last minute just before I left for Houston. I thought that the music had been an important part of the experience. For myself and for other persons entering the Ethical State, I thought that a more appropriate sequence of music would be as follows: 1. the first thirty minutes or so of Bach's ART OF THE FUGUE (DIE KUNST DER FUGE), 2. Penderecki's THRENODY TO THE VICTIMS OF HIROSHIMA and his DIES IRAE TO THE VICTIMS OF AUSCHWITZ 3. Richard Strauss' EIN HELDENLEBEN (A HEROE'S LIFE) together with Gustav Mahler's 2nd Symphony (The Resurrection Symphony) and finally 4. Bach's entire ART OF THE FUGUE from the beginning. The entire performance took 4.5 hours and represented respectively the four basic matrices of Grof which he calls BM I, BM II, BM III, and BM IV. My recordings were not too good; I intend to make better ones in the future; but they seemed adequate to the task, and represented the best I could improvise in the 48 hours we had.
Orit was scheduled to begin her chemotherapy at 8 AM Monday morning. Her husband and son would arrive Sunday by 5:00 PM. I wanted to be gone, and us finished, by that time, so that she and her family could be together alone that evening. Orit had a probability of 10% of dying from the intensive chemotherapy, since it virtually destroys the entire immune system, and is highly toxic in itself. She gets enough toxins to destroy the cancer cells without quite killing her. She had had a bone marrow extraction from herself to preserve, and then to reinject, after the second round of chemotherapy. If she did not have the radical chemotherapy conventional medical wisdom said she was almost certain to die in the near future. I very much wanted her to improve enough not to need the chemotherapy, but 48 hours did not seem like enough time. A series of totally unexpected synchronous events had kept her from starting the chemotherapy earlier; otherwise we would not have had even these 48 hours. Additional synchronous events would contribute to her being maximally helped by what I was teaching her for the next four months.
I described the breathing exercises to her. This greatly frightened and worried her because she had once before had, what seemed to be, the same exercises taught, in Mexico City. to her and a close friend by a certified Grof facilitator from Esalen. Her friend died, unexpectedly, of cancer shortly after this experience. She saw me as teaching her something that she associated with her friends death. She thought that it might lead to her death also. I explained to her that I was teaching her a different process within a different context. It was one of several extensions of Creative Transformation, only superficially similar to the Grof Breathwork.
We began the breathing exercises at 3:30 PM. I explained to her how to breathe and told her that if she began to fall asleep or otherwise began shallower breathing, I would gently massage her right chest where her mastectomy scar and the cancer were. I was operating very much from intuition, since I had not studied the breathing techniques in depth, and I did not know how to deal with emergencies that might arise. However, I trusted my intuition and Maria's assurance that the breathing exercises could not hurt anyone, although I learned later that pregnant women, heart and stroke patients, psychotics, traumatized persons, and others, were vulnerable.
We closed the door to my bedroom and I asked her to get as comfortable as possible as she got into the twin bed I had been using. Although the apartment was quite warm, Orit is easily chilled; I wanted her to be warm. Orit was casually dressed with a sweater, slacks, and thick socks, in order to be comfortable she loosened her prosthetic brassiere, which compensated for her missing breast. I told Orit to do and say anything she wanted, including screaming. I put on the music, closed the blinds, and everything seemed fine, while the Bach was playing, although I occasionally had to gently touch her chest to remind her to continue with the deep breathing. I put one chair on each side of the bed so that I could attend her on each side. I sat next to her, near her head, and breathed deeply with her, just as my guide had with me.
As we got into the Penderecki music, I noticed Orit seeming more and more agitated. She was opening and closing her hands. I had not told her that my hands had been numb, but assumed that her hands were getting numb just as mine had. Then she complained that she was loosing all sensation in her hands. I held her left hand and massaged it gently, and assured her that everything would soon be all right. However, she became increasingly tense and said that her hands and feet were totally paralyzed and that she had lost all sensation in them. I calmly kept reassuring her that everything would soon be all right and that all of this would pass. Her hands were clenched in tight fists which I could barely open. She seemed to be getting hysterical that she had no sensation and that her hands were paralyzed. With great difficulty I opened her left hand and massaged it gently. Instinctively I stroked her forehead very gently. She now started screaming that she did not want the cancer, that she rejected it, and did not want it to be any part of her body. She screamed in Spanish "Go away you stupid cancer." I told her to give me her cancer and that we would both fight it together and defeat it. (Later, Orit told me that she was shocked by this suggestion, since she did not want me to get cancer.) She was sweating profusely and was soaking wet with sweat; she had been cool and dry up to then. She began to relax somewhat after this. As her left hand began to relax, I went to the other side of the bed to unclench and stroke her right hand. It also began to relax. However, she now began to have spasms of her whole body and to moan. I kept assuring her that soon everything would be all right, keeping in mind Maria's false, but completely trusted, assurances that the breathing exercises could not hurt anyone. My vision had also told me that the breathing exercises would be purely beneficial to those who were part of the Creative Transformation Process, but that I should only teach it to them. Later, I realized that only those who are close to entering the Ethical State are immune to all harm from the breathing exercises. At this time I instinctively began to gently massage the main Chakral areas of her body, although I did not yet know the theory of Chakral healing, which I would learn later that evening by reading HANDS OF LIGHT.
Later on, we discovered that the principal teacher of Barbara Ann Brennan, the author of HANDS OF LIGHT, had also been the principal teacher of her friend Malja, and eight weeks later I was told, by a third party, that he had also been Maria's teacher and mentor. His name is John Pierrakos. Indeed, the break up between Orit and Malja began when they both began studying with Pierrakos. Orit quickly determined, in her own mind, that he was a despicable, greedy, money grubber, although, to her, his ideas and concepts seemed true, profound, and relevant. Orit stopped studying with Pierrakos after only spending half a day with him, while Malja and Maria, I later discovered, went on to do extensive studies with him. More amazing coincidences.
The Chakral massages seemed to calm Orit. I focused on the head Chakras and the heart Chakra, but also massaged the central Chakras a few times, and the base Chakra once, over her clothes. She now relaxed much more and started to go to sleep. I massaged her chest gently, to remind her to resume her deep breathing, but she seemed to remain asleep. I then, instinctively, put my hand under the top of her sweater and gently massaged the scar area directly where the breast had been removed. If she had not loosened her brassiere, I could not have done this.
She now resumed the deep breathing on her back, and I massaged the central Chakra near her stomach. She then took my hand, put it under the bottom of her sweater directly on the cancerous tissues and tumors, and seemed to be asking me to massage them, which I did. She did not moan or have any more spasms after this. I would focus on gently massaging her hands, her forehead, and the top of her head. Whenever she would stop the deep breathing, I would massage her right chest; if she did not resume her breathing, I would again go directly to the scar tissue and tumors and massage them. She would usually again begin the deep breathing, if she did not, I would then speak to her to get her to breathe deeply again, which she eventually always did. Finally she let out a sigh of relief saying, "I can see the light." At this point I, instinctively, left her side and went to the window and opened the blinds to let in the late afternoon light which was still quite bright in Houston; it was about 4:45 PM. Then I returned to her side, periodically going from one side of the bed to the other.
As we left the Penderecki music and got into the Strauss and Mahler, she seemed ever more at peace. When we were near the end of the Mahler she told me that she had to go to the bathroom to urinate. It was now about 7:00 PM. I told her that was fine, but to keep up the deep breathing. She was very woozy and unsteady on her feet and I helped her to the bath room, then returned to the bedroom to wait for her. I heard her tell her daughter that she was well and that everything was all right She asked her daughter to get her a glass of water, which she brought back into the bedroom, about four fifths empty. She told me how much she loved her daughter, with whom she had a difficult pregnancy; it was the purest love of her life.
We now went back to breathing together. She seemed very calm. I still occasionally massaged her hands and head. When I went to massage her scar tissue directly, because she was not responding to the massage on the outside of her clothes, I noticed that she had tightened her brassiere again, and took that as a sign that I was no longer to massage the scar tissue and the tumors. Therefore, I spoke to her and got her to start the deep breathing again. As we got near the end of the Mahler she continuously would raise her hands, palms upward toward the ceiling. As we got into the Bach she began to have more and more hand movements. Finally she sat up in the bed and began to move her hands in harmony with the music. These were the most beautiful hand movements I had ever seen. They became ever more intricate and beautiful. I wished I had a video camera to record them. They seemed to fit perfectly with the ART OF THE FUGUE. Finally her hand and arm movements were so energetic that she got out of the bed and sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the bed from me. She now began to move her head and her upper torso with the music. Her breathing became faster and harder. She seemed to be going into some kind of a trance state. I became a little apprehensive for her, but remembered Maria's trusted words, again. Finally, Orit ordered me, at about 8:05, to bring her drawing materials.
I gave Orit a fine, felt tipped pen and about thirteen sheet of paper, which were blank on one side, the other side having the above transcript of the autopoiesis we had on her health. I asked her if she wanted me to put on the light, as it was quite dark, she said, "No!", and began to draw. She was drawing completely in the dark and could not see what she was doing, nor could I. But she drew with a precision and a determination as if she knew exactly what she was doing. She filled ten of the sheets. She later told me that the drawing was completely involuntary, and it was as if someone else was controlling her body.
She would begin drawing on a sheet of paper until it was full and then smoothly slide over and continue drawing on another sheet of paper. I would remove the sheets of paper out of her way and stack them together as she finished each drawing. Therefore, the sheets were in the inverse order in which she drew them. Later I saw that they were very intricate, unusual, abstract drawings, with clear structure and patterns, but I could not see if they meant anything, and neither could Orit. The next morning, as I studied them, I figured out their meaning. The early drawings represented her battle with an ever more aggressive cancer, which she was now beginning to win. The last drawing was quite different from the rest and represented her emerging triumphantly out of a vortex or whirlpool; Gros' book indicated that this was a common, spontaneous image. I told Orit, then, that I was confident that she was going to be cured.
After Orit finished her drawings, it was about 8:20 PM, and she seemed exhausted. I told her to lie down on the bed and relax, breathing any way she wished, and to finish listening to THE ART OF THE FUGUE, which she did. Everything was over by 8:40 PM. Orit was tired and hungry, and so was I, we did not say too much, other than that we could not figure out the meaning of the drawings. We each prepared dinner for ourselves; I was on a special diet. She went to bed at about 9:30 PM. I stayed up reading HANDS OF LIGHT until after 12 AM.
I was up, showered, packed, breakfasted, and ready to go at 8:00 AM. I felt extremely energetic and powerful. I seemed to have completely overcome all symptoms of my previous illnesses. I had never overcome jet lag so quickly. However, Orit was not up, showered, and breakfasted, until 11:00 AM. She said she had a terrible headache, and was afraid she was getting a cold, which would interfere with the chemotherapy, since she could have no infections when it started. She made an appointment to go to the hospital that afternoon. I had used the extra three hours to continue to read HANDS OF LIGHT and to study Orit's drawings; it was a good use of my time.
Starting at 11 AM I explained to Orit the meaning of her drawings, which she readily accepted. Then we discussed the fact that she was reluctant to forgive her former gynecologist. She really held her current cancerous state against him and could not forgive him. I pointed out to her, that he did not cause the cancer. He simply made a mistake in good faith. I said all physicians are fundamentally incompetent, because they know very little about the human body in relationship to what must be known. She told me not to say that, because she had to have faith in the physicians that were currently treating her. I told her that she must assume responsibility for her own life and not be a passive patient. Physicians and healers, of which I was now one, were merely resources which she had to choose how to use. She had chosen an incompetent gynecologist; he had in good faith done the best he could; she was responsible for accepting his wrong diagnosis for so long and believing the falsehoods she chose to believe; this was the first rule in the Game of Life. Orit sort of accepted this, but it upset her daughter who wanted to blame the hapless gynecologist and keep up Orit's faith in her current physicians. This was all taking place in the living room not in the privacy of my bedroom.
Orit, finally, after one more halfhearted struggle with me, decided to write a letter of forgiveness to her former gynecologist. She explained to her daughter that she was doing it for Orit's good, not for the gynecologist's good. She wrote a much less beautiful letter of for-giveness to the gynecologist than she had to Malja. I pointed out to her that this was a left-handed forgiveness and that she should be more forgiving. She said that she could do no better, that she truly loved Malja, but that she thought her gynecologist had done her a terrible wrong. I told her that if that was the best she could do, then we would leave it at that. I took the letter and said I would mail it, which I did. I told her we would now go to the bedroom and do the new advanced type of autopoiesis. I had not told her anything about Dyadic Autopoiesis.
We went into the bedroom at about 11:30 AM. She apologized for her daughter, whom she said was still very much of an adolescent. I did not comment. We discussed autopoiesis and how the communication by touch works. I pointed out that I had had a vision of how to do Dyadic Autopoiesis; part of the vision included the certainty, even though it was unethical to certain, that the breathing exercises together with Dyadic Autopoiesis would cure her cancer. She expressed fear of the cancer and a longing to have it cured. I suggested that the next morning when she went for the chemotherapy, she have the tumors checked visually and histologically, if there was any sign of remission, that she postpone the chemotherapy, so long as she seemed to be getting better, and keep doing the breathing exercises at least three hours a day; otherwise, she should go forward with the chemotherapy.
I advised her that at night, while going to sleep in bed, and in the morning, as soon as she awakes, she should listen to the 1.5 hour tape of Bach's ART OF THE FUGUE, which I had also prepared for her. In general, I advised her to do the breathing exercises often, for as long as she could, particularly when she went to bed at night and every time she awoke. The music helps keep pace and time the exercise. The ART OF THE FUGUE represented, to me, the most life affirming, spiritual, positive music I knew. Maria also sent Orit four tapes of inspirational music. I told Orit I would leave the tape player, so that she could continue to listen to this inspirational music.
Now came the most difficult part of the weekend. The Dyadic Autopoiesis involves the Chakral Embrace which is very intimate, although it is completely spiritual and nonsexual, with no genital contact at all. However, I felt that Orit might be apprehensive about it. I pointed out that I had never done this before, that it came to me in a vision, but that I was very confident that she would be cured of her cancer, if we did the Dyadic Autopoiesis, as I had envisioned it. I told her that in the Contract for Creative Transformation we had promised to tell each other the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about any matters which would affect our common creativity. This included speaking about our feelings and intuitions. Therefore, I was obligated to explain the process to her, which I now did.
She was somewhat shocked by the details of the Chakral Embrace, and said she could not do it. I immediately told her that she should never do anything that seemed wrong or made her uncomfortable. She should always follow the dictates of her conscience, while doing her best to make sure that her alleged conscience was not fear masquerading as conscience. I respected her decision. I told her that although I had a vision of what would cure her with certainty, it did not mean that she could not get cured with a variation on it. The breathing exercises seemed to have been very effective; we would now do a variation on the Chakral Embrace which might be just as effective. I explained to her what we would do, and this was acceptable.
We now stood and embraced each other. She is much shorter than I, so I brought my forehead down and touched her head and forehead, which were the most important Chakras in this process. We also had bare feet as we normally do in autopoiesis, and she stood on top of my bare feet to give her more height and to bring some of the minor Chakras in contact with each other. While we were still embraced and touching heads and feet, we repeated (in Spanish; all the spoken interaction between Orit and myself is always in Spanish.) the eight commitments given previously in step eight. She had no trouble with any of this, except when I said, "If you die, I shall die." She said she did not want me to die, and that the chemotherapy she was having, as well as her cancer, were very dangerous. I told her that she was not going to die, and that we would both live to be over 150. She said she would be grateful for just two more years. I said, "You have nothing to fear; I will always be with you. Whenever you have a crisis or must make a difficult decision, just think of me and say the meditation which is in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION ; then do the next thing that comes to your mind, particularly when you decide about your chemotherapy tomorrow. If you do this without fear, we, together, will never make a mistake." She told me that she would do so. The meditation I recommended to her follows:
MEDITATION
Fear is the belief I can't create.
Fear is an illusion.
I am creation.
I now create.Orit also expressed some concern about the intimacy of our bonding, and how it would effect her marriage and family. I told her that our bonding was purely spiritual and that there was no limit to how many persons with whom she could bond spiritually. The more spiritual bonds she had, the more loving she could be to her husband and her children. Her sexual bond was unique and exclusive with her husband, and should remain so. She agreed. We agreed that when she was well, she would try to teach Dyadic Autopoiesis to our closest male spiritual associates in Mexico. She would try to overcome her fear, and engage with them in the full Chakral Embrace. (Next April, while visiting me in Oregon, Orit told me she thought the Chakral embrace was a metaphor for lowering our mutual defenses and loving each other in total innocence without hiding anything from one another. I told her that although this is all part of ethical love, I did not believe that the original vision of the Chakral Embrace was at all metaphorical.)
Next we sat down facing each other touching feet and holding hands in the regular autopoietic fashion. The first thing she said was "I give you my cancer." I said, "Thank you. I accept it. Together we will defeat it and you will get well. My immune system is now very powerful; it will help cure your cancer." Later I said, "I give you my strength." She said, "I accept it." The previous evening when I had asked her to give me her cancer, she had been unable to do it, since, she later said, she did not want me to get cancer. She now had more confidence that, together, we would cure her cancer. If I could not cure the cancer, I was prepared to die fighting it. If she could live for even a few years longer, I was prepared to die for her. However, I was confident that we both would live for many years to come.
We soon ended the autopoiesis. She was surprised that there were no metaphorical images as there usually are. I explained that that was not what was supposed to happen in Dyadic Autopoiesis. I assured that she would get well. However, I felt depressed because I knew she would not be well enough to avoid the chemotherapy. I felt I had failed her in not being able to lower her fear enough to fully try the Dyadic Autopoiesis, but I knew that enough had been accomplished that she would live through the chemotherapy and that the cancer might never come back. I also felt somewhat guilty, because, although I had come solely to help her, I now realized that I had gotten more out of the experience than she had. I had cured myself more than her. I had been strengthened more than she, although she had also been strengthened. However, I did not tell her anything about my negative feelings, and just shared the certainty with her that she would get well. My negative feelings were no longer relevant to her cure.
I felt a strong need to go away and return to Oregon. She gave me two books, as gifts for Maria and myself. I hugged and kissed her good bye; asked her to say good bye to her daughter, who was out, and left at about 1:00 PM. It seemed to me that I left somewhat hastily, but I had a strong need to go; my work was finished. I went to a restaurant, had lunch, did some sight seeing in Houston, then drove directly to the airport, and took the 6:50 PM flight to Eugene. While at the airport and on the flight home, I read more of HANDS OF LIGHT.
When I returned to Eugene I stayed up until 2:00 AM reading my mail which had greatly accumulated after three weeks of continuous travel. I had devoted almost two weeks entirely to Orit. The next morning I was up at 8:00 AM, fully refreshed, and full of energy; I had zero jet lag. I had an overwhelming need to write this essay and share it with all who might benefit from it. I wrote 18 hours per day for the next four days to finish it. On Thursday morning at 5:30 AM Houston time I felt that Orit had had and would have many crises due to her chemotherapy; I felt her distress and sent my spirit to help her, as I engaged in the breathing exercise. By 7.30 AM Houston time I knew that her past and future crises were resolved; the mucous lining of her digestive track would die and her immune system would be devastated, but she would survive. With, what seemed 100% certainty, I knew that she and I together would defeat the assault of viruses and germs on her weakened body over the next six months. The cancer should never recur. She would be completely cured. As Nietzsche said, "What does not destroy me, strengthens me."
The very instant that I finished writing the previous paragraph, Orit called me. It was 2:30 Houston time. We had not spoken since Sunday. We both expected that she would be sedated undergoing chemotherapy by this time. I was very surprised to hear from her, but overjoyed. She had been having crises. She had a collapsed lung the previous day and had considerable trouble with the insertion of a subclavian catheter. All this had delayed the chemotherapy. For technical reasons, new biopsies of her tumors would not be done. I told her of my vision of the previous eight hours. I told her that we would fight together and defeat the assault on her body. Her life was my life. Her death was my death. Together we would both live. We were forever joined. Together we would create the Ethical State and The Moral Society. Henceforth, we would each visualize the other in our crises, and triumph over all adversity. Nothing could defeat us.
MY CURE
My serious medical problems began in the winter of 1969-1970, when I was 34. I was then at the height of my physical and mental (classical, not quantum) powers. I was extremely strong and could do over 200 chinups at a time; I did a very special type of heavy isometric exercises combined with isotonics that gave me a champion athlete's body; my company, Teknekron, of which I was founder, president, and chairman, was making me very rich, powerful, and respected. Then I began to write THE MORAL SOCIETY as a lark, primarily to explain my sociopolitical ideas to others. I planned to run for governor of California and then the presidency, as soon as I accumulated $100 million; it appeared that this would be very soon; elections were cheaper then.
As I got into writing the book, I began to change, and what began as a lark turned into an obsession. I could not stop writing. When I slept I started getting visions about what I would write the next day. These were the first visions of my life. I would write 18-20 hours per day. I finished the entire book in 12 weeks, even though I remained at the head of my company and kept up my essential duties. However, when I was about two weeks into the book, I came down with the worst flu of my life. I have never been as sick before or since, not even when I almost died of pulmonary edema and heart failure over 22.5 years later.
This flu was a national epidemic, which killed tens of thousands of people. My entire house-hold of eight persons, except for one daughter, who was destined to be a physician, came down with the flu and suffered greatly. It seemed that the virus picked up virulence as it went through each person in the household. I was the last to get it. It knocked me out completely for two weeks. For the first time in my life I became delirious with fever. It took six months before I stopped coughing and got rid of the most overt lingering symptoms of the flu. For 23 years, I was not able to do any kind of heavy exercise, as it would quickly cause me to start coughing. From now on almost any cold or physical stress would cause coughing that would last several months. I later learned that this virus infection had seriously damaged my heart and my lungs. My heart had what is known as "a right bundle branch block", which together with a chest X-Ray and a heart echogram, indicated in July of 1992 that over 30% of my heart tissue had died; an entire ventricle seemed dead; the other one barely functioned. However, the worst thing was the chronic cough and the fact that I could no longer do heavy exercise. From this time on I became increasingly overweight, and then in the last few years developed type 2 diabetes. All of this led to the pulmonary edema and congestive heart failure of last July.
While I was at the height of my crisis in 1969, and thought I might soon die, a foggy vision came to me, that the viruses that had infected me were communicating information which would enable me to turn my book into something wonderful; this was clearly metaphorical; the price I had to pay for the information was to permanently damage my health and to die very soon. When I was able to go back to writing, I had a very strong sense of impending death and that I must finish the book before I died. As I finished the book, I realized that once it was published, it would destroy any possibility I ever had of going back to my previous life, or of being elected to any office. The price for the book was death. However, over the next few years I would discover that this "death" was also a metaphor.
While I was in the midst of my flu crisis in 1969, I heard on the radio, Penderecki's SAINT LUKE PASSION. This was the first time I had heard this great composer. I recognized his music as the music of death. It seemed very appropriate at the time; I became a fan of Penderecki.
When the book was finished, in late February, I gave a copy of the manuscript to all the senior staff in my company. They were very upset. The net result was that I gave them all my stock in my company for $50,000, which enabled me to support my family for two years. I figured I would be dead by then, but the book would be out, and my family could survive on my insurance. I no lon-ger needed a $100 million. It took me twenty three more years to finally "die". However, this metaphorical death was not of my body but of my ego. My ego died in stages; I had a very big ego at the time. About half of it died during 1970 and 1971. Another 30% died in the following ten years. Another 15% died between 1981 and 1991, and the final tiny fraction that was holding me back seemed to die by the end of January, 1993. As my ego finally died, my body regained its health and I began to heal in all ways. I am now healthier than I have been since 1970. My new life began on Monday November 30, 1992 with the realization that I had an unconscious fear of oxygen deprivation, and that this fear, like all fear, was an illusion. I was now free to live.
My physical cure was only partially effected on November 30. Up until that time, the pulmonary back pain had been getting increasingly worse for the previous four weeks. The major symptom was that I would wake up with terrible, almost unbearable, back pain, which would force me to get out of bed. I got less and less sleep at night than I needed, and I was reverting to the 20% efficiency mode of operation. It was clear to me that I was soon going to die a non metaphorical death, and I would not have a chance to die in peace on the south coast of Oregon, as I hoped. The night after the first breathing exercises, I noticed that all the pain was gone and I had the first good night's sleep in a month. I had much more energy the next day. However, my focus was entirely on helping Orit. I now had the energy to do all the work that had to be done to help her and take care of all of my other responsibilities within the three days that it took me to put together the plan for her cure, including transcribing the autopoiesis, preparing the tapes, and getting to Houston. I now worked about 12 hours a day and had very few jet lag symptoms when I got to Houston. When I returned from Houston, I had no jet lag symptoms and I could work almost 18 hours per day, while being much more creative and productive than ever before.
In helping cure Orit, I cured myself, and I am now almost completely well, although the full cure may take one year more. My 23 year test is over. However, I have found that if I do not take care of my body, by dieting, physical and breathing exercises, I begin to develop a slight pulmonary edema type pain in my back again after sleeping about eight hours. Fortunately, I now do not need so much sleep. I can work an 18 hour day, after only six hours of sleep. The best thing I have found for my health is to sleep as long as I can, whenever I can. Also, as I go to sleep, when I wake up, while I am driving, waiting in a line, listening to music, walking, etc., I do the breathing exercises. It is possible to substitute deep breathing time for sleeping time. If you use this simple formula you will greatly improve your health.
The greatest progress, however, will come from repeatedly, ethically teaching others the new, expanded Creative Transformation process, which now includes 4.5 hours of deep breathing exerci-ses during the section on fear, then engaging in Dyadic Autopoiesis with all qualified persons.
I intended to end this essay with the previous paragraph; however, the instant I finished the previous sentence, I was called by a professional associate, a brilliant inventor named "Ron". Through another coincidence, Ron lived in Israel, and had children born there, at the same time that Orit and Lucas lived there, and had their two children born there; at the same time, Stela and Ariel were also living there. Why Ron called me for medical advice, I do not know, since our relationship is in regard to physical inventions; it seems synchronous. I might never have even thought of the following matters and begun to pay attention to all the things I had to do to maintain my body in good health, if Ron had not called me.
In late 1992, Ron had a stroke and was seriously impaired. He is still partially paralyzed, and has difficulty reading. He is a Ph.D. in physics. He was studying CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, when he had the stroke; he had read at it, briefly, once. The advice I gave him for restoring his health will work for many others, but not for all:
1. Do a continuous four to five hours of the breathing exercises as soon as possible; but do not do them by yourself the first time; it is best to do them within the Creative Transformation context, or at least have someone you love and trust with you when you first do the breathing exercises. REMEMBER, THE BREATHING EXERCISES SHOULD NOT BE DONE BY PREGNANT WOMEN, PSYCHOTICS, STROKE VICTIMS, HEART OR RESPIRATORY PATIENTS, TRAUMATIZED PERSONS, OR OTHER VULNERABLE PERSONS.
(I only learned later, from Maria, about all the dangers of the breathing exercises, and that stroke victims like Ron, particularly those who have a lot of negative emotions, as he does, should not do the breathing exercises, without proper supervision.)
2. Repeat the breathing exercises, which hyperoxygenate the blood without hyperventilating, as often as possible, using some of the strategies given earlier in this essay; you cannot do these exercises too often; the more you do them, the more creatively productive you will be; it is the best possible investment of time in yourself. Part of the secret of permanent maximum fitness is to hyperoxygenate the blood in a natural manner that is completely under your control.
3. Eat all the fresh vegetables you wish, preferably raw, but, as a minimum, eat the equivalent of a large salad a day; consider baked potatoes as a staple; solely drink pure water and juices.
4. Eat four different fresh fruits, but not more than six fruits totaling 800 grams, per day.
5. Eat the equivalent of at least four slices of multigrain bread per day; the order of preference is wheat, corn, rye, millet, oats, and brown rice, all of which you may eat in a non-bread form, e.g. tortillas, oatmeal cereal, cooked rice; you may eat as much whole grains as you wish, so long as the grains have no processing other than grinding and cooking, and contain nothing other than water and minerals. Consider all natural whole grains and vegetables, as staples.
6. Try to cut out animal fats, but eat no more than 100 grams of turkey or chicken white meat per day, if you must have meat. Try to substitute beans or fat free skim milk cheese for meat.
7. Eat fish at least once a week, but not more than twice a week; eat no meat on fish days.
8. Have at least one, but not more than two, table spoons of olive oil per day for your fat needs. Use other vegetable oils, if you must; preference inversely proportional to the amount of processing that went into producing the oils; avoid all oils that have been subjected to high temperatures in their processing, such as margarine; avocados, olives, nuts, and peanuts are equivalent to 75% of their weight in unprocessed oils. Try to eat solely during daylight hours.
9. Do your best to avoid all other foods, sodium salts, and every type of drug, including alcohol, coffee, tea, tobacco, and marijuana, as well as medicines. If you take medicinal drugs, but follow this entire program, you shall be able, under your physician's care, to wean yourself from medicinal drugs. Natural, unrefined herbs and spices, even dried, are edible vegetation.
10. Do mild aerobic exercise every day, equivalent to brisk swimming, or walking at least 30 minutes, at a moderate pace of about three to four miles per hour, plus at least 10 minutes per day of personally optimized calisthenics (see part 2); if you are pressed for time, ill, traumatized, or tired from insufficient sleep, you may, occasionally, drop the exercises until everything is well. Frequent aerobics, during daylight hours, without glasses or contact lenses, in a quiet, unpolluted, natural setting, is essential, for permanent maximum fitness.
11. Do your best to teach the new Creative Transformation and Dyadic Autopoiesis to as many qualified persons as you can; without receiving any compensation, other than the act of having taught it. However, let SEE first teach you how to qualify persons so that you do not harm those who are weak and vulnerable. (See part 2 on how to qualify and teach new students.)
12. Do your best to treat everybody with love and respect, even your worst enemies, by always assuming that they are ethical and might benefit from reading, at least, the introduction to CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION. However, only offer it once, and never push it on anyone. Do not judge them, if they are unresponsive to the Creative Transformation process; try to feel, and show, solely love and compassion for them; never blame those who seem to hurt you; remember, you can only hurt yourself. Nothing real can be threatened. Your only true enemy is your own fear.
Adults who begin this regimen by the age of 35, will have a life expectancy of 100 years, if they focus mainly on the first 10 points. Doing fully all 12 points, will raise life expectancy to at least 150. Children who practice all 12 points, before 15, will have a life expectancy of over 200 years. Remember, that a specific life expectancy does not mean that we are going to live that long, but merely that the average person in a population with that life expectancy will live that long, if something does not kill him or her first. In the United States human life expectancy at birth is today about 75 years, but many die before the age of 10. No one on earth seems to have a life expectancy of over 150 years.
If Orit, our students, or I ever live to be 150 or more years, that will be strong scientific evidence that these ideas are probably true. If Orit or I die of a degenerative disease within the next fifty years, or if we even age in the normal manner, that will be strong scientific evidence that these ideas are probably false. I hope to have several dozen more experimental subjects, in addition to Orit and myself, within the next few months. A valid experimental subject must have understood the Creative Transformation process, committed to play the Game of Life, engaged at least twice in regular Autopoiesis, and then engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis at least once. More complex experiments will compare experimental subjects with varying numbers of Dyadic Partners, as well as varying objective indicators of commitment to the Game of Life.
All these ideas are what my quantum connection has told me. My lucid visions have never been wrong, but there is always the first time. It is ethical to doubt. It is unethical to be certain. Simply do the best you can to maximize creativity, according to the dictates of your own conscience. If you do so, you cannot fail. Those in the Ethical State should try this experiment.
(End of First Part of this Essay)
PART 2: A PRACTICAL IMPLEMENTATION OF THE PREVIOUS IDEAS AND PRELIMINARY EXPERIMENTAL RESULTS
This extension to the previous essay was finished on February 13, 1993 after testing the ideas.
The major results during the previous eight weeks of experimentation are the following:
1. Orit's cancer had almost completely disappeared within four weeks of our session together, two weeks after having finished her first chemotherapy session. Her immune system fully recovered in ten days, 4 to 20 days ahead of schedule. Her doctor had told her, that, if the chemotherapy were successful, it would take several months for the cancer to disappear; she should not expect to evaluate the disappearance of her cancer on a day by day basis. Her immune system would take at least two to four weeks to recover enough to begin the second, and last, round of chemotherapy. He was very surprised by the results, and ordered a second round of chemotherapy for Orit, ahead of schedule; it began on 21 January. No patient known to Orit had ever recovered and started the second round of radical chemotherapy as quickly as Orit herself.
2. After her first chemotherapy round in mid December, Orit had her immune system almost comp-letely destroyed and then became vulnerable to infections, which produced a fever in her. She eventually recovered from the infection. All of this was in 100% agreement with the visions I had and shared with Orit on December 10, 1992. However, I was concerned about her vulnerability to infections now, and after her second round of chemotherapy. Therefore, I asked for, and received, a new vision of how to help her; the dyadic autopoietic bond between us was holding.
3. The new vision was that she should drink a tea made with echinacea, sage, and other medicinal herbs. I had never taken or used herbs in any systematic way and knew very little about them. Therefore, I began studying about them, and developed a formula that I felt I should first try on myself. This formula was as follows: 6 parts echinacea (the major strengthening agent for the immune system, that has zero side effects), 4 parts goldenseal (another strengthener of the immune system, tonic, and natural antibiotic, but it has side effects if used in large doses over long periods of time), 4 parts hawthorn berries (a heart and cardiovascular strengthener and restorative; it has no side effects), 3 parts ginseng (a general tonic and stimulant to the entire body, particularly the nervous and arterial system; it may have side effects in large doses over long periods of time, but it has been used for thousands of years), 3 parts sage (a natural antiseptic, particularly effective against mouth sores that occur in chemotherapy patients; no side effects), 1 part garlic (a powerful, natural antibiotic; with no side effects), 1 part cayenne pepper (a heart stimulant, stomach soother, and catalyst for all other herbs; only side effect is that it may be an irritant to the mucous membranes of the digestive tract, if used in excess), 1 part lobelia (stimulates lungs and respiratory system, lowers blood pressure; dangerous side effects, if taken in excess; it can be a powerful poison), 1 part comfrey (restores damaged tissues, and is a natural antibiotic; as a side effect, it may produce cancer, if taken in excess, over long periods), 1 part thyme (restores gastric system and is a natural antibiotic; no side effects), 1 part fenugreek (promotes healing of wounds and of type 2 diabetes; no side effects), 1 part parsley (a major natural source of all major vitamins, a natural megavitamin supplement; no side effects), all put, one tenth of a tea spoon at a time, into hot, skin tolerable, not boiling, pure well water, with no chlorine, in a single full cup of water, fresh every morning and drunk within fifteen minutes but not sooner than five minutes after being freshly made throughout the day: one cup on arising, one cup after every meal or snack, and one cup just before going to bed