You have been given this essay as a gift, solely for your own use, please do not copy or show it to any third party, since it may be misleading and harmful to them. Read and understand CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION first, then get in touch with me; if they are ready, I will give them the essay and help them understand it. Incomplete information can be very dangerous.

FEAR, HEALTH, AND HEALING

An Essay on How to Complete the Creative Transformation Process After Joining The Ethical State

by John David Garcia, School of Experimental Ecology, Box 10851, Eugene, OR 97440, 10 DEC 1992 (Names have been changed to protect privacy; all authors, events and times are entirely real.)

WARNING! this essay will benefit solely those who have read and understood CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION and made a maximum effort to play the Game of Life as best they can, thereby becoming part of the Ethical State; otherwise, this information may be misleading, and even dangerous, to you.

A DEATH WISH

I have been in the process of trying to enter the Ethical State for twenty three years. During most of that time I have done my best to be guided solely by the desire to maximize creativity and to reject fear as a motivator of my actions. Although I started this process with many failures, I constantly improved in my ethics and entered ever more fully into the Ethical State. During the last two years, I thought I had fully entered into the Ethical State and no longer had any motivations derived from fear. However, I recently realized that I unconsciously desired to die, although consciously I wanted to live, solely to maximize creativity. I could not understand how the unconscious desire to die could be compatible with the conscious desire to maximize creativity. I thought a lot about this conundrum, but could not figure it out, except possibly that I was recognizing that we all reach a point in life where the most creative thing we can do is die, since the creative contributions we have left are not worth the resources for maintaining our life. Perhaps, I secretly knew that I was not worthy of living, because in spite of all the gifts God had given me, I had failed to help anyone else enter the Ethical State, including my own family. If I could not create an Ethical State for others, then my life was truly meaningless, and all I had learned and done would die with my life.

Keeping in mind that Goethe had written FAUST when he was over eighty, Vaughn Williams had written his ninth and greatest symphony when he was over eighty five, and that Buckminster Fuller was still going strong when he died close to the age of ninety, I felt that dying at the age of fifty seven just meant that I had run out of creative time at an earlier age than my betters. After all, Mozart died at 36, at the maximum height of his musical powers; the thinker I most admired, Spinoza, died at 45, at the height of his ethical powers, where I thought I was now. I felt I had lived long enough; it was time to make room for others to create an Ethical State; it seemed that I had reached the limits of my incompetence; I was probably at the stage in life when the most creative thing I could do was to die. I had a peaceful acceptance of death, and was in no way bothered by its approach, in fact, somewhat to my shame, I welcomed it. I was ashamed, because I dimly perceived, that in dying I would merely be putting down the burden of creating an Ethical State, and that I would not be maximizing creativity.

In early July, 1992 I went into pulmonary edema and heart failure. This was further complicated by type 2 diabetes, which had developed over the previous two years. I tried to ignore the heart failure and the pulmonary edema as long as possible, and went on with trying to put my affairs in order and leave the minimum trouble for those left behind. However, the pain eventually became so serious that I could no longer sleep or function at all. Therefore, I went to see a physician, who put me into intensive care for a week. The pain and major discomfort were quickly eliminated with drugs, but I was seriously weakened. I quickly lost 40 pounds, which was good, but for several weeks after I got out of the hospital, I worked at about 20% of my normal efficiency. My prognosis was poor. However, I was getting better, and unfortunately also gaining weight again; eventually my efficiency went up to about 60% of what it had been; above all I was putting all of my affairs in good order. I did not want to leave a mess behind me when I died. I felt God had given me a reprieve so that I could put all of my affairs in order. That is what I focused on at this time.

My financial affairs were easy to order; by October the only thing that was left to do was to sell my house in Fall Creek and to write a brief in a case I had against the IRS. I submitted the brief to the IRS and turned the house over to a realtor to sell.

After this, I went to look at a small house on the southern Oregon coast, which was quiet, peaceful, beautiful and easy to maintain. I expected to die there as I did my best to finish my work on the Quantum Ark and develop the foundations for a school to teach the curriculum as outlined in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION. I intended to leave the Quantum Ark, all of my other creations, together with my house, to a not for profit foundation, The Society for Evolutionary Ethics, that I had specifically created for this purpose back in 1981. My insurance would all go to my wife. During my life, I had provided adequately, if not optimally, for my wife and children; none of whom showed any interest in creating an Ethical State. I felt that this was the best use of my remaining assets. This was not to be my destiny.

I now realize, that I was seeking an easy death, and to lay down the burden of creating an Ethical State. Through my quantum connection I created situations that made it impossible for me to lay down the burden. My house did not sell, and my offer on the house on the coast was not accepted. Then a few other significant, synchronous things began to happen.

I no longer believed that teaching the Creative Transformation seminars and workshops was a good use of my time, since I had written a detailed do-it-yourself manual for learning and teaching the Creative Transformation process. However, I had committed to teach two more of these workshops -- one in California in September, 1992, and one in Mexico City in February, 1993. Traveling was very hard on me, and I hoped never to travel again, as I completed my work, and waited to die on the south coast. However, these two commitments have saved my life, at least for the time being, and have taught me how better to enter into the Ethical State, and help others do the same. I learned of a missing piece in the Creative Transformation process, which I will now share with you. There may be many more missing pieces.

What saved my life, was my interaction with two remarkable women, Maria, who was a participant in the September workshop, and Orit who was the chief organizer and sponsor of the Mexico City workshop next February. I will tell you about Maria first.

MARIA

The September workshop took place in Maria's home, although it had been organized by a very brilliant, creative, highly erudite, spiritually oriented, mathematician, musician, and generalist named "Ted", who had, unexpectedly, visited me in Oregon for the first time just about the time I almost died. I had known Ted only slightly during the last five years and did not think we had too much in common, in terms of our current goals, although we had an extensive common knowledge base and spiritual orientation. When Ted visited me, we learned that his father, who was traveling with him, had met me and purchased my first book, THE MORAL SOCIETY, 21 years earlier while I was publicizing it at the First International Conference of The World Future Society. Both Ted's father and I remembered the event. Both Ted and I respected the work of Fritjoff Capra as well as THE COURSE IN MIRACLES, which Ted was currently studying in depth.

The first rule of the Game of Life is basically the same as accepting the fundamental premise of the COURSE IN MIRACLES, which in its own terms may be summarized as follows: "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." In my own words, I would say that fear is the belief we cannot create. Fear is an illusion we choose for ourselves when we are punished for being creative. We can overcome all fear and create whatever we need, if we simply choose to play the Game of Life as best we can. THE COURSE IN MIRACLES also puts much more emphasis on achieving, and helping others achieve, peace of mind than on maximizing creativity. For that reason, although I admire and respect it, I do not have unqualified respect and admiration for THE COURSE IN MIRACLES, to which I devote one paragraph in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION.

I also had a warm rapport with Ted's wife, Una, who seemed to have an intuitive, unintellectual, naturally ethical, loving approach to life. Therefore, when Ted asked me to give the workshop in California, after he read CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION later that summer, I accepted. As in all cases of this kind, I received a greater benefit from this experience than any of those to whom I gave the workshop. That is why we should never charge for communicating quantum information to others. Subjecting Creative Transformation, in any way, to economic fear, or any other kind of fear, greatly diminishes our ethical effectiveness. The major benefits received, from giving the workshop, were first interacting with Maria, then getting to know Ted, Una, and others better, than I had before.

Maria was a medical doctor (M.D.), but not a psychiatrist. She had been the head of a medical clinic, when she took a workshop from Stanislaw Grof, a Czech physician and psychiatrist who has written several books on a breathing exercise and general program he has developed, primarily to help people resolve the kinds of problems that people normally go to see psychiatrists and psychotherapists about, but it also seems that he helps others.

The first thing I noticed about Maria, was that she seemed completely healthy, unneurotic, competent, loving, and highly energetic, qualities I have found in very few psychiatrists. I learned that she had given up her highly prestigious practice to study with Stan Grof at Esalen and then to teach, for the past seven years, his techniques to others; she now has a, de facto, psychiatric practice. However, her main function is to teach people how to breathe.

What she teaches, I have now learned, is, under some circumstances, probably the most powerful medical technique ever discovered; it can be taught purely as a breathing exercise without any representations of healing involved. However, it may have deleterious side effects; it should not be practiced by pregnant women under any circumstances, and not without medical supervision, by: heart and stroke victims, persons with wounds, hernias, broken bones, and others, who may be vulnerable to muscular and psychological tension; and never by psychotics. Please heed this warning; (I was not given this warning by Maria, until much later, see Part 2.)

Although I was very impressed with Maria, I could not understand, at the time, how she could give up being a successful physician to teach a breathing exercise, which anyone can learn or teach in a few minutes. However, it takes much more to understand what is happening. As an act of kindness, Maria gave me Stan Grof's basic book on the matter, BEYOND THE BRAIN. In the first brief scan it seemed interesting but not revolutionary. I finished the book over the next two months. My first impression was that this is another brilliant case of psychofraud in the same tradition as Freud, Adler, Rank, Reich, Jung, and many others, as I had indicated in my previous book on these matters. However, BEYOND THE BRAIN was written with such clarity and apparent honesty, and it had transformed so many people's lives, particularly Maria's, that I decided it needed personal experimental verification. As I have stated in my books, we should always pay attention to what creative people believe, while accepting that it may be wrong.

I owed it to Maria, and above all to myself, to study the breathing technique. My intuition was that the breathing exercises were probably highly effective, even if Stan Grof's reasoning behind the exercises might incorporate psychofraud. We can arrive at the correct solution to a problem for the wrong reasons, particularly when we are ethically motivated and are using our perfect quantum connection together with our imperfect reason. I communicated all of this to Maria the next time we met; she did not agree with me, but our relationship was friendly.

Six core people, out of the 12 students and myself who took the workshop in September, continued to engage in Autopoiesis; these were Ted, Una, Maria, Ben (Maria's husband and an attorney), Joan (a psychotherapist), and myself, whenever I could join them in California, which was about once every four to eight weeks. Four others participated sporadically. Two others, should not have even taken the course, since they seemed to get nothing out of it, and seemed to have impeded Creative Transformation for the rest. You should always filter out Creative Transformation students by their ability to understand CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION intellectually or intuitively. In Ted and Una, there exists in a single couple, the two most extreme cases, I have yet seen, of these two complementary types of intellectual and intuitive understandings. I suspect that it makes for a very good marriage.

ORIT

The six core participants scheduled an autopoiesis at Ted and Una's home on November 27, 1992. Just prior to meeting with them, I had learned that my friend, Orit, had cancer recur in the same spot for the third time and was about to undergo intensive, radical chemotherapy in Houston. She had already had chemotherapy and radiation therapy within the last year, and the cancer kept reappearing. I asked the Octet, which on this occasion included two former students of Ted, a couple named Alicia and Alvaro, to focus on how we could give Orit information which would help maximize her creativity and cope with her cancer. Alicia and Alvaro had read the introduction to CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, but did not have an in depth knowledge of my ideas. However, I went along with Ted's intuition that these would be two good participants. Our intuition turned out to be correct; we had a highly creative autopoiesis.

Alicia and Alvaro had four children, the oldest almost full grown. Alicia, who was raised in Mexico, like Orit, was a student and a mother, again like Orit, coping as best she could, while she tried to obtain her BA; she had studied mathematics with Ted. Alvaro was a professional psychic, a native of El Salvador, who had originally taken one course on intuition from Ted. This led him, unknown to Ted, to become a psychic. I told all of them about Orit.

In 1989, just before getting the final draft of CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION ready for publication I was invited to give a lecture (my four hour audio-visual presentation) to an international convention of Empathy International in Guadalajara, Mexico. One of the conferees, who gave his own lecture, also heard mine, and was impressed by my presentation. His name is Dr. Juan Lafarga, a Jesuit priest, the head of the psychology department at the Jesuit university in Mexico City. This is one of the largest private universities in Latin America. He, as well as another head of the largest private university in Mexico, it is considered the MIT of Mexico, invited me to lecture and give workshops at their respective universities, which I did. Many worthwhile things resulted from these experiences. The most important result, so far, grew out of my five day graduate course at the Jesuit University (Universidad Iberoamericana), where I was very surprised to find that almost half of my several dozen students were Jewish.

I have had great respect and affinity for the Jewish people, since the age of 14, when a Jesuit teacher of mine, said the first positive, and true, things I had ever heard about the Jews. Until that time, I had heard nothing but negative and false prejudices about the Jews all my life, from friends, family, and my Catholic teachers, whose teachings, I had secretly rejected at the age of eight. I had only known a few Jews as a child; they seemed very alien, and always the but of prejudice from my peers. However, I was a perennial outsider, and after the positive things I heard about the Jews from my Jesuit teacher, I felt I was more like them than like any-body else. Later I discovered, much to my surprise, that many of my Spanish ancestors, on both sides of the family, were descended from Jews who were forced, over the centuries, to convert to Catholicism. Although I was raised in a strictly Catholic tradition, I felt more Jewish than anything else. Eventually I married a Jewish woman, remained married to her for over 35 years, and raised my four daughters, in the Jewish tradition, although I could never take very seriously Jewish ritual, including the dietary rules, which have an apparently rational basis, in the light of modern science. I now follow a dietary plan, for non religious, ethical, and scientific reasons, that is completely Kosher! (See part 2)

However, I always felt as an outsider, both among Jews and Christians, although much closer to the Jews than to the Christians. Later I realized that, that the only rabbi, I could follow and fully respect was Baruch de Spinoza. Still later, I realized that I also respected and followed the ethical teachings of Jesus, whom I regarded as an enlightened mystic and rabbi, but no more divine than any other enlightened mystic. Hopefully in the Creative Transformation process, we have integrated the best of both Spinoza's and Jesus' teachings. I fully accept the ethical teachings of both Jesus and Spinoza, but reject virtually everything else from both traditional Judaism and Christianity. I suppose this makes me a secular Jewish-Christian-Humanist.

Mexico has only about 50,000 Jews in a nation of almost 90 million, and I was teaching at a Catholic university. One of these Jewish students was Orit. She was one of the best students. She also seemed very young, appearing about 24, and exceedingly beautiful. She was, to my later surprise, 39 at the time. She and another of my Jewish students named "Stela"(a Ph.D. candidate in psychotherapy), seemed to have gotten the most out of the course. Orit's specialty was teaching creativity to young children. She already had published two books on enhancing creativity in children, and she had a very successful school oriented toward maximizing creativity in young children. Orit, was, herself, the mother of two teen agers. Her husband, I later learned, was a very successful electronics engineer and high tech entrepreneur in Mexico; he also was a very impressive, intelligent, handsome man. Stela invited me to her home on this occasion to meet her husband (Ariel) and their truly remarkable children; Ariel's family came from the same remote part of the Soviet Union (Georgia) where my wife and her family spent the last two years of WW II, another remarkable coincidence.

In January of 1992, Orit and Stela, through Orit's creativity institute, organized a lecture and workshop for me to give in Mexico city to about 150 persons at the lecture, and about 60 persons at the workshop; I had never handled more than thirty two persons at any workshop; I did not think I could handle that many students. However, with Orit's and Stela's help, everything went unusually well, although I became very tired and ill. At this time, I got to know Orit and Stela very well, together with their lovely families. Through me, Orit and Stela had become good friends, although, unknown to each other at the time, they had both taught at the same grammar school, and both had been in the same households at the same time in Israel. Another of my best friends in Mexico, Ignacio, later was a substitute lecturer, called at the last minute to substitute for a lecturer scheduled to speak just before Orit, at a symposium on creativity. They both spoke about my ideas, in tandem, as if they had planned the whole thing, and also became very good friends. In September, 1992, I contributed to a third book that Orit is writing on creativity. The previous year, Orit and my wife, had been diagnosed to have cancer of the breast on the same day, and had had exactly the same treatment at the same time, all independently of one another -- a very surprising coincidence. Quantum processes produce many wondrous, synchronous events when we try to maximize creativity; then there are no unforeseen setbacks, only unforeseen opportunities; Creative Transformation teaches us how to optimally utilize synchronicity making it an integral part of our life.

While my wife seems to have recovered fully from her cancer with only a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation, for which I am thankful and relieved, Orit, with a full mastectomy as well as chemotherapy and radiation, had a recurrence of the cancer just before the radiation, plus another recurrence this past November. This puts her in a very high risk category. I felt a very strong love for Orit and Stela, just for being the spiritually beautiful, ethical persons they are, as well as for having done more to promote the Creative Transformation process than any other women I know. It is mostly men who seem to understand and appreciate my ideas, and very few of them at that. Orit and Stela were very precious to me. They had now organized this new lecture tour and workshop session to go forward in February, even though Orit might be hospitalized with intensive, very dangerous, chemotherapy until April of 1993.

I thought, at first, that I might be able to help Orit with an autopoiesis between the two of us, at her earliest convenience. At the same time, she and I agreed that I would have other Octets, with which I worked, see what creative information we could extract from the autopoietic process to help Orit maximize her creativity and cure her cancer. On November 27, 1992, after I requested it of the other seven Octet members that evening, we had the first autopoiesis on this subject. What came out clearly in the autopoiesis, was that Orit had a psychosomatic type of cancer, which she kept reinducing in herself, every time the cancer cells were removed from her body. Furthermore, if she learned to breathe properly, she would be cured and maximize her creativity; this unusual concept came, to my surprise, from me, not from Maria. Maria then invited us all to attend the next breathing workshop which she would be holding in three days. Ted, Alicia, and I attended. It was a transformative experience for me. I will describe it in detail, as I experienced it. You should heed the warnings in this essay before trying it.

LEARNING HOW TO BREATHE

The breathing exercise is unbelievably simple. You simply take in the deepest breath you can in the manner that is most comfortable for you, and then immediately blow the breath out through your mouth as if you were blowing out a few small candles entirely with all the breath remaining in your body. This creates a partial vacuum in the body cavity, which induces one to take another deep breath and exhale it completely in a blowing action through the mouth. This is repeated at a frequency that is personally comfortable, for as long, and as often, as is desirable.

Maria had obtained a personal guide to take me through the exercise. The guide was a lovely, mature woman who seemed to be in her late fifties, and had a lot of experience with these breathing exercises, although she had not learned them from Maria. In fact, she and Maria had just met three days previously. My guide was possibly a more important part of the process than Maria; she communicated goodness and strength to me at all times and gave me confidence in the process by breathing along with me. She sat next to me, and did the breathing exercises with me, as I lay on an improvised foam mattress on the floor. The exercises lasted four hours!

If I started to doze off, or otherwise stopped breathing and exhaling deeply, as was required, my guide would gently touch my shoulder and remind me, without speaking, to resume the deep breathing. Her own deep breathing was also assuring to me, that I was not going to be damaged.

This technique was developed by Stan Grof to help mentally disturbed persons understand the basis of their neurosis or psychosis, by reliving their birth experience, when most people are first deprived of oxygen and develop neuroses or worse in relationship to the fear of oxygen deprivation. As I have said in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, our own fear is the basis of all of our own negative experience; the only impediment that exists to being fully creative, is our own fear. Fear is the belief we cannot create. I felt that, by that time, I had eliminated all fear in my life, including the fear of death and pain, and that I could face anything with equanimity and overcome any problem other than my own inevitable death. I did not know why I wanted to die, other than possibly frustration with not being able to create an Ethical State.

I had realized for the last few months, as I prepared to die, that death is the last creative act of our life, by which we contribute to the evolutionary process by making room for others to take our place in the biosphere, and try out a new experiment in life and creativity. I felt I had no neuroses whatsoever -- no emotional problems, no fear, no neuroses.

However, it is unethical to be certain. In his book, Stan Grof had mentioned that persons who went through these breathing exercises would often, after an hour or so, vomit, urinate, and defecate uncontrollably as they shed their neuroses. Although I did not believe that I had any neuroses to shed, I did not want to vomit, defecate, or urinate on anyone, or have anyone do that to me. Therefore, I found a place for myself as far from the rest of the group as possible, and began the exercises a little later than the rest, as my guide and I had been getting acquainted in another room. I immediately liked her and felt a warm rapport with her.

I gave my guide my latest book, as well as literature on all of my most important activities, and tried to befriend her as best I could; she told me less about herself, but enough for me to like and respect her; she had a consulting business on organizational structure. Later she passed the material I gave her to other persons who became my students. My guide and I went to the main hall of this large church complex, and I began the exercises with about twenty other persons who were all lying on improvised foam mattresses.

My guide helped me get as comfortable as possible, and I began breathing; Maria had assured me that, in spite of my severely damaged lungs and heart, this exercise would not hurt me. I trusted her. My guide breathed along with me; this helped reassure me, as I began to feel a little uncomfortable; by the end of the first hour my hands and feet were falling asleep; I could not understand why, because I kept flexing my hands and feet to ward off the numbness, but I felt very comfortable and at peace otherwise -- just a slight discomfort.

While we did this exercise, Maria put on very loud music, which, according to my mind, illustrated the four basic perinatal matrices mentioned by Grof as inducing mental problems later in life, if they are overly traumatic during the perinatal process. At first I heard a greatly amplified heart beat of a woman as she begins to give birth (Basic Matrix I going into Basic Matrix II); then I heard wild pounding drum beats of an orgiastic nature representing the contractions of the uterus (Basic Matrix II); then I heard heroic music, part of which reminded me of Richard Strauss' Ein Heldenleben, representing the passage through the birth canal toward the outer light (Basic Matrix III); then I heard more peaceful music representing the freedom from the birth canal, and life in the outer world, when we begin to breathe on our own (Basic Matrix IV). They also played erotic sounding music, chanting, and more over the next two hours.

While this was happening many of the other people in the hall were screaming and yelling as if they were in Hell. I figured that this was in accordance with what I had read in Grof; however, I did not feel at all traumatized, although I was increasingly uncomfortable for about the first hour of the exercise. After the first hour, beginning with the heroic, triumphant music, I began to have an ever greater sense of well being, and although I felt somewhat disturbed by all the screaming that was going on in the background, I felt increasingly well; the pins and needles in my hands and feet were soon gone. The total exercise lasted four hours. Soon I began to have clear, lucid visions of what was going on and what my problem had been.

VISIONS

I should mention that for the last twenty three years I have been having visions, usually while I am sleeping or dreaming or shortly after waking up. I have less clear visions during autopoiesis, but my visions, both in and out of autopoiesis, have become increasingly lucid. I have never had a false lucid vision. In autopoiesis, I seem capable of helping others have the same type of visions, but they are usually expressed metaphorically. My lucid visions are never metaphorical, but are expressed directly as to precisely what will be.

All my most creative inventions, writings, and actions have come from these visions. I have decided to always trust these visions completely until one of them proves false; if that ever happens, I will never trust the visions again. This is more rigorous than is required by scientific method, which would usually demand several independent experiments before invalidating an established hypothesis. However, this is scientific mysticism. I assume that these visions come from God, or the Implicate Order, if you are more secularly oriented. If it ever happens that I cannot trust God or my interpretation of what comes from God, then it is time for me to revert solely to reason and scientific method. Almost all practical persons eventually do this.

We depend on our quantum connection, almost entirely, when we are young children. For many of us, our creativity is eventually destroyed by being punished when we are creative and rewarded solely when we are classically rational and scientific. This produces a confusion in our minds such that we cannot distinguish between our creative unconscious and our fear. When we act out of fear, we then believe that we are acting out of conscience. We can then no longer distinguish between our conscience, which is our quantum connection to God, the source of all creativity and the mechanism behind evolution, and our fear, which is the belief that we cannot create. We then continuously project our own fear into others and become maximally destructive in direct proportion to our intelligence; that is why it is unethical to increase the intelligence of destructive persons. We must first focus on ethics when interacting with others, and then seek to increase their intelligence, solely, when they have shown that they are responsive to ethics and do not seem to be systematically destructive.

When my visions predict the future, the future always turns out exactly as I saw it. The last major lucid vision I had, prior to the vision at Maria's breathing class, was in early July when President Elect Clinton was a low third in the polls and all the conventional wisdom said that it was now a race between Bush and Perot. I, myself, thought that Perot was going to win.

I had at this time a lucid vision that Clinton would pick Gore as his running mate and that they would, together, win the election. I saw Clinton and Gore standing on a stage with their wives proclaiming their victory; I saw the stage, their clothes, and the background just as it later appeared on television. I also saw an image of Clinton and Gore raising their arms together in a victory salute, just as it occurred. I did not know what to do with this information, which seemed at best trivial, since I in no way supported Clinton, nor did I vote for him, although I knew he was going to win. (I voted Libertarian.) Therefore, I communicated this information to a few persons who were close to me, and I documented it in a letter to Clinton urging him to do what I knew would win him the election, under more ethical circumstances than he would be likely to wage his campaign, and to choose Gore as his running mate. I hoped this would be a good objective test of my vision and my quantum connection to God. This was the only value I could see in the vision. Betting on the election would have been a trivial use of quantum information. If we are to enter the Ethical State and transform ourselves into a Moral Society, then we must limit all use of quantum information to maximizing creativity, and never use it to cater to any aspect of our, or anybody else's, fear.

I normally kept my visions to myself and did not discuss them with anyone, since, if they were true, they could often be used destructively by others; if they turned out to be false they would merely convince others that I was out of touch with reality. For this reason I have kept the details of the Quantum Ark to myself, although I have already demonstrated that the first laboratory prototype works as predicted. The power of the Quantum Ark is such that I do not feel its right to communicate the details of its construction to persons who have not clearly entered into the Ethical State. I thought that if I died, others could rediscover the Quantum Ark technology. I also felt it was more important to create a creative, highly ethical Octet, than to seek personal power through the Quantum Ark. The main problem for me to solve for the last 23 years, has been, and still is, how to create an Ethical State that does not become corrupt. The power of the Quantum Ark in the wrong hands could easily annihilate the human race, far more effectively than nuclear war. My restraint in the use of the Quantum Ark technology was a test my creative unconscious set for my ego, to see if I would use this technology to act out of fear. If I had done so, I now realize, I would be dead by now. Both the Quantum Ark and Clinton's election have served primarily to give me confidence in my lucid visions and to act upon them; secondarily they served for me to test myself ethically, that I would not misuse quantum information to cater to my or any one else's fear. Clinton later did everything I advised him to do in my letter, and everything turned out exactly as I predicted, including the states he won and lost. The letter and his answer to me are available to anyone who is interested. I should mention that his letter to me was a personalized form letter; he did not follow my advice, but merely did what I predicted he would do.

THE NEW VISION

After about an hour of breathing exercises, I began to receive the most lucid visions I had ever had; they are reflected in all that follows. The first vision was that fear of oxygen deprivation was a primordial fear of all humans, and that it went much deeper than the perinatal experience. Fear of oxygen deprivation is programmed into each cell and is derived from the time when our bacterial ancestors switched from anaerobic to aerobic metabolism, and once again when our more recent single cell ancestors switched from being CO2 breathers to being oxygen breathers, and then would have to go back and forth between these modes, when oxygen levels fluctuated. Eventually our marine invertebrate and vertebrate ancestors had the fear of washing up on land and again being deprived of oxygen; this induced them to become air breathers while they still remained attached to the water through their gills and skin, as are the amphibians today. Finally, they had to risk giving up all the previous safety mechanisms and depend entirely on the atmospheric oxygen, at the same time that the reptilian complex, the center of fear in humans, began to evolve in our ancestors. That is how all fear comes from one fear.

We all are born with a primordial fear of oxygen deprivation. This fear is reflected in our fear of death and in our wish for death. We always cause to happen what we fear most. Fear is the belief we cannot create. When we fear oxygen deprivation, we kill ourselves with cancer, heart failure, pulmonary edema, allergies, diabetes, obesity and other illnesses, which produce oxygen deprivation in response to the fear of oxygen deprivation, and the unconscious wish for death. We cause our cells to become cancerous, because cancerous cells can live with less oxygen, than normal cells. We kill ourselves because, sometimes, for some persons, it is better to die than to live in fear. All death wishes stem from the primordial fear of oxygen deprivation. The fear of oxygen deprivation catalyzes all other fears, and is a major impediment to creativity and to good health. If we can eliminate the fear of oxygen deprivation, which we carry in each cell of our body, and not merely in the brain, then we can eliminate cancer, heart and artery disease, lung diseases, and virtually all degenerative diseases that produce de facto oxygen deprivation; we can go on to be maximally creative, if we are otherwise ethical. For persons not in the Ethical State, these exercises produce merely a pale imitation of this effect; their strongest, ego based fears will still remain, even after doing the breathing exercises.

To be fully effective the breathing exercises must be done within the Creative Transformation context by persons with the potential to enter the Ethical State. Otherwise the breathing exercises can at best degenerate into a useless ritual devoid of creativity, as seems to be the case for most of Grof's students. All allegedly transformative processes must be evaluated in terms of the increase in creativity of their adherents; otherwise they become superstitions.

Children tend to breathe easily and deeply, and always remain creative during the earliest parts of their childhood. As we age, we breathe ever more shallowly and with greater strain; simultaneously, we decrease in creativity as we decrease in ethics. This eventually kills all of us, according to our nature and our nurture. For almost everybody, fear of a lack of oxygen eventually destroys creativity along with life. This is how it happened to me.

I have been highly creative and have become increasingly creative most of my life. Still, I have never been as clever as the cleverest persons around me, although I was usually much more creative. For many years I could not understand this phenomenon, since I thought that creativity was entirely a product of intelligence. It was not until I wrote my first books that I realized that creativity was a product of both intelligence and ethics. C=IE. However, I still gave overwhelming weight to intelligence. It was not until recent years that I began to realize that overwhelming weight should be given to ethics. It is weak ethics that eventually kills us.

With my last book, CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, I finally produced an instrument which would filter out persons, no matter how clever, from an incipient Ethical State, if they were unethical. No matter how intelligent someone is, if he or she is unethical, he or she will not understand my book. By "understanding" I do not mean agreeing with me on any of my reasoning, mysticism, or even any of the scientific facts, but merely understanding what I am saying, true or false. Persons who do not share my values, do not understand what I say and are usually bored by my books, particularly the last. Ethical children, as young as nine, can understand my ideas, as was the case for Stela's son.

As I understood the power and the reasons behind the effectiveness of the breathing exercises, I understood fully the reasons behind my death wish. I wished to die because I felt entirely alone with no one to share fully my visions, my ethics, or my hope for the future. In the deepest sense, I felt myself a total failure. Although I had been given many great gifts, together with the insight to save humanity from self destruction, I was still inadequate to the task.

Not even my own four daughters shared my basic values, although they were all very intelligent, disciplined, and each, in her own way, highly creative and accomplished. My children seemed to take most of their values from their mother. I now understood one of the reasons why Judaism is matrilineal. My wife was a fear minimizer not a creativity maximizer. Her greatest fears seemed to be economic in nature; they were understandable, since she was a survivor of the Holocaust in Europe, having escaped from Poland into Russia just ahead of the Nazis, and then having barely survived World War II and its aftermath in Russia, while watching her younger sister starve to death before her, because there was no food for anyone. I had come to feel total love and compassion for my wife, but I had not always felt so. I had seriously damaged our marriage earlier, and the love of all of my family, by being most conditional in my love and demanding the same degree of moral courage as I had, from those who did not yet have my strength or confidence in their own creativity. I felt, deep down, that the best thing I could do for my family was to die. It was my duty to die for both my family, and the cause of an Ethical State.

I felt that the greatest impediment to the creation of the Ethical State, was my own existence. Once people knew me and saw my human weaknesses, they could often not take my visions or my mystical insights seriously. Up until a few years ago, I would express anger, not compassion and love, when someone seemed to be behaving unethically toward me or others. This alienated from me those I would love. Although I was no longer like that, I had become so disillusioned with my fellow man, that I just wanted to be a hermit and wait to die on the southern Oregon coast. I had firmly resolved that I would do my best from now on to avoid all human contact with persons who did not share my values. Other than finishing some experiments on the Quantum Ark and laying the foundations for the school, there did not seem any reason for me to go on living. This highly negative self image stemmed from my fear of oxygen deprivation.

I knew then, and I know now, that we can only do our best. If we do our best, we always win the Game of Life. As I breathed deeply, I understood with ever increasing clarity that my highest duty was to live and to continue struggling. I did not have to die in order to help others see. As I realized that I could easily provide myself with the oxygen which I needed, I realized that I was now sufficiently creative to solve any problem that had to do with creating an Ethical State, as well as curing Orit and myself. What I could not do (because everyone has free will which must be respected, including their desire for self- destruction) and need not do (because four ethical men and four ethical women are sufficient to start the Ethical State leading to the Moral Society) was bring everyone, or even a sizable minority, into the Ethical State with me. I should open the door to all who wished it, and respect those who chose not to enter; there would be enough entering to create a Moral Society.

At this time it dawned on me that this simple breathing exercise was the most powerful medical treatment ever conceived of by any human; if we could combine it with the Creative Transformation process, it would lead to an Ethical State and a Moral Society more quickly than I could have ever imagined before. The process, which would cure both Orit and me, would take us there within our life time. Our life times would become ever more prolonged as we evolved toward the Moral Society. Just what we knew now, would extend our life expectancy to 150 years.

The vision I had, was that, for persons who are not yet in the Ethical State, the breathing exercises, with proper guidance, may help relieve some severe psychological problems and mild physiological ones. Because these persons are still driven by many fears, other than oxygen deprivation, these fears will eventually bring an early death, no matter how well they breathe; their breathing experience is merely palliative; an "analogon" or mimicking of what happens to those in the Ethical State. For persons in the Ethical State, when they relieve their fear of oxygen deprivation, they are cleansed of all remaining fears and they will never again be subject to death by any of the oxygen depriving degenerative diseases mentioned before. Their aging process will be greatly slowed downed, but not stopped or eliminated. At first, the major causes of death shall be physical trauma, infections, and ultimately liver failure due to toxins in the environment. This would give Orit and myself a life expectancy of 150 years, although we could die at any time from the aforementioned causes, but not from degenerative diseases. Children of parents, who had combined the breathing exercises with Creative Transformation and then successfully taught this to their children, would have a life expectancy of over 200 years. As we evolve into the Ethical State toward the Moral Society, we will discover more techniques, of this nature, which combine classical and quantum technologies to improve health and prolong life. The Moral Society itself will be immortal. Only morality can engender immortality.

ETHICAL CAUTION 1: I am relating my mystical visions to you as I had them. Although my lucid visions have never been wrong before, I may currently be self-deluded, as are so many of my fellow humans. I share these visions with you out of love; I will do my best to test them scientifically. But remember, it is ethical to doubt and unethical to be certain; I may be wrong. The essential process for the new Creative Transformation is as follows:

1. We lead as creative and ethical a life as possible and serve as a positive example to others.

2. To anyone who shows any interest or receptivity at all, we share a copy of the introduction to Creative Transformation; if they are still interested in going on with the process, after they read the introduction, we share a copy of the whole book; or otherwise communicate it.

3. If they read the book twice cover to cover, or have otherwise, even partially, understood it, we continue to help them, until they fully understand, then we invite them to the Creative Transformation seminar and workshop; the workshop will now last five days, and incorporate the breathing exercises during the section on the meaning of fear and how to overcome it. REMEMBER, NEVER DO THE BREATHING EXERCISES WITH PREGNANT WOMEN OR PSYCHOTICS OR OTHERS WHO ARE VULNERABLE TO PHYSICAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL TENSION, SUCH AS HEART AND STROKE VICTIMS, RECENTLY OPERATED ON OR OTHERWISE WOUNDED PERSONS, SUCH AS HERNIA SUFFERERS. LEARN THESE EXERCISES THROUGH SEE AND THEN TEACH THEM TO OTHERS ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN CERTIFIED BY SEE. I recommend teaching, solely, players of the Game of Life, who show a sincere desire and an ability to enter the Ethical State; they are the least vulnerable, as well as the most fertile ground for planting truth.

4. We invite all who successfully complete the new five day, Creative Transformation workshop and wish to continue in the process, to participate with us in Autopoiesis within our Octets and our networks. If there is going to be a sexual imbalance, it is better that it be with excess women, rather than with excess men; women seem to have fewer impediments due to fear, than men, to opening their quantum connection; indeed, women seem to derive their major, conscious, fears from a lack of confidence in their classical brain, e.g. higher mathematics; to creatively transform, men need women, more than women need men, although they both need one another.

5. Those who remain in autopoiesis, for two or more sessions, without behaving destructively, we invite, indirectly, to participate in a new advanced autopoiesis, called "Dyadic Autopoiesis".

6. Dyadic Autopoiesis is performed by two persons of the opposite sex, who have complementary nervous systems. I suspect that it may not work with some homosexuals or between heterosexuals of the same sex, although it should be tried to be sure; my intuition is cloudy on these points.

7. In Dyadic Autopoiesis a man and a woman, who are both, at least partially, in the Ethical State, embrace each other such that they each press as close as possible the same Chakral areas of each others bodies -- Chakra to corresponding Chakra. This is difficult to do, simply do your best and emphasize the forehead Chakra and the heart Chakra; the other Chakras are less essential, although we should try to have contact between all the Chakras in this technique.

(A good reference on Chakras and their relationship to healing is given in a book by Barbara Ann Brennan, HANDS OF LIGHT. I received this book synchronistically just before I went to see Orit in Houston. I knew what I was going to do, but not that it was a type of Chakral massage or that I would be merging auras with her. I had never been into that sort of thing. It was the right book at the right time; it came to me totally unexpectedly in the mail on the day before I was to leave for Houston. When we are in the Ethical State, we always have all the resources we need to maximize creativity. Keep in mind that THE BIBLE, THE KORAN, THE ETHICS of Spinoza, and other revelations, just as HANDS OF LIGHT, THE COURSE IN MIRACLES, BEYOND THE BRAIN, THE MORAL SOCIETY, CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, this essay, and all other perfect quantum information that is filtered through the imperfect minds of flawed humans, who still have fear, will have errors -- sometimes gross errors.)

8. While in the Chakral Embrace within a Dyad, each partner makes the following promises to the other; each repeating each phrase in turn; each partner saying each phrase; the partner most experienced in Dyadic Autopoiesis will usually take the lead and speak first after the other person asks to become a Dyadic Partner:

a. I give you my life and accept yours in return.

b. I give you my soul and accept yours in return.

c. I give you my spirit and accept yours in return.

d. If you die, I shall die.

e. If I die, you shall die.

f. If I live, you shall live.

g. If you live, I shall live.

h. We are forever joined in a single soul; together, we shall be one for all eternity.

You both remain in the Chakral Embrace so long as you both wish it; this will produce a permanent autopoiesis for the two of you that will never end, even when you are physically very far from one another. Henceforth all visions shall be direct and no longer metaphorical. All persons who have entered the Ethical State, thoroughly learned and then taught the new Creative Transformation process (See Part 2) at least once, then engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis, will have ever more lucid true visions as I have had, and will be immune to all noninfectious diseases that produce oxygen deprivation, as well as having their immune system greatly strengthened, but they shall not be immune to toxins, physical trauma, or some infections; their rate of aging will be cut by at least 50%; their rate of healing from all trauma, infections, and toxins shall be greatly enhanced, so long as they will both remain in the Ethical State. This will be true, even if they are physically separated from each other by arbitrarily large distances; our souls are outside of time and space; they are part of the Implicate Order; they are part of God.

If any member of a Dyad should ever leave the Ethical State, both partners will lose all the benefit of their mutual Dyadic Autopoiesis. However, there is no limit to how many Dyadic Partners we can have. The more Dyadic Partners one has the greater becomes one's own creativity, as well as the creativity of each partner. The process will take us to infinity within the Moral Society. A Moral Society is an Ethical State where all its members are Dyadic Partners to one another, and all partners are Moral (E=1). This universal Dyadic Autopoiesis is brought about by each member of the Ethical State engaging in Dyadic Autopoiesis, at least once, with each member of the opposite sex, then all members are all Dyadic Partners to one another.

Dyadic Autopoiesis works by transferring the essential ethical, spiritual information of each person into the other, while filtering out many ethical flaws. What results in each person, if the Dyadic Autopoiesis is successful, is an optimized synthesis of the best ethical qualities of both persons. Both would then end up immediately much more ethical, creative, and less fearful than before, although not immediately more intelligent, than they were before. Remember, that no one enters into the Ethical State fully, without having first gone through the entire Creative Transformation process, engaged in ordinary autopoiesis, as well as having done and taught the new Creative Transformation process to at least one person. If each person has fully entered into the Ethical State, then this ethical transference will occur; otherwise it will not occur. The more that both Dyadic Partners are into the Ethical State, the more effective will be the Dyadic Autopoiesis. This will maximize their creativity within the limits of their intelligence. In the long run, their intelligence will also increase, but not immediately. The more Dyadic Partners we have, the greater will be our creativity.

ETHICAL CAUTION 2: Dyadic Autopoiesis is a highly spiritual process; it is in no way sexual. However, like all aspects of the Creative Transformation process, it may be used selfishly or seductively. This must not be done, or the whole Creative Transformation process will be corrupted for all those so involved. If any of the partners has sexual desire for the other partner during the Dyadic Autopoiesis, the ethical transference will not take place. Any person who has engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis with another person, and later has a sexual relation with the Dyadic Partner, will fail in Dyadic Autopoiesis from the start, unless the two Dyadic partners had a sexual relationship based on mutual ethical love, before the Dyadic Autopoiesis. Sexual partners who engage in Dyadic Autopoiesis, after their sexual relationship has been established, need only refrain from sexual contact for 24 hours before, and 24 hours after, the Dyadic Autopoiesis. We are all ethically obligated to refrain from Dyadic Autopoiesis with persons who are not in the Ethical State, as evidenced by the criteria previously given; it is deceptive to them and wastes time for both. If you want someone as a sexual partner, make sure you become loving, sexual partners before you engage in Dyadic Autopoiesis. Otherwise you are both, forever, sexually taboo to one another. We should never charge a fee, in any form, for Dyadic Autopoiesis; if we do, it will not work, and both persons will have wasted their time, from the start. Dyadic Autopoiesis and Creative Transformation must be given solely with love, without charging any fee for transferring to another the quantum information, that was given to us. Fear inhibits all creative acts.

THE FOURTH PARADIGM

I never saw myself as a healer, although I was a medical student at the age of 22, after having obtained a BA covering the fields of biology, chemistry, and psychology, and doing very practical medical research for one year. My intention, at that time, was solely to do medical research, not to be a primary health provider. As I learned more about medicine, I realized that for the type of research I wanted to do, namely, understanding the aging process, the most important type of knowledge was biochemistry, and not conventional medicine; therefore, I left medical school and became a graduate student in biochemistry. As I went deeper into biochemistry, I realized that to truly understand biochemistry what I really needed to know was more physics; therefore, I transferred to the physics department. As I went deeper into physics, I realized that what I really needed to know was more mathematics, particularly the deeper implications of probability and statistics; I originally had a very difficult time understanding quantum mechanics; therefore I went into the mathematical statistics department. As I went deeper into mathematics, I realized that the academic community was corrupt and destructive to the creative process, although I did not know the reasons behind these phenomena. Therefore, I left the academic community and became a high technology entrepreneur, and became very rich very quickly, almost entirely from my creativity, but I was dissatisfied with my life because those actions which made me maximally wealthy did not maximize creativity for myself or others. Still I followed, unconsciously, the first ethical economic paradigm, that I would maximize my wealth under the constraints that everything I did must increase at least one person's creativity, and not diminish any person's creativity. Eventually, this led me to write THE MORAL SOCIETY to understand why becoming extremely rich, while doing good work, and hurting no one, left me so unsatisfied.

THE MORAL SOCIETY, written in 1970, and published in 1971, provided a turning point in my life, whereby I deliberately impoverished myself and my family, relatively speaking, and began following a new, and hopefully more ethical, economic paradigm. The new paradigm was that I would seek to maximize creativity under the constraint that anything I did must enable me to provide for the minimum well being of my family. The first paradigm had made me rich, but left me unsatisfied. The second paradigm neither made me rich nor gave me any satisfaction. However, the fact that I now had few resources, kept me from compounding my mistakes by insulating myself from negative feedback with money. If I had had more money, I would not have been able to pass into the third paradigm during my lifetime. Almost everything I did for the next fifteen years produced no ethical results, outside of my own enlightenment, and would eventually bring my fa-mily and myself to the point of economic ruin. This gave me the necessary negative feedback to correct my errors, and rid myself of human parasites, which I tended to accumulate under the second paradigm; but this experience was very damaging to all the members of my family, although we always had all the basic necessities of life, and all our daughters graduated from college, and all lead creative, although not maximally creative, lives today. My wife and my daughters all ended up, in one way or another, between the first and second economic paradigms, which is not the best place to be. I could not drag them with me into the second paradigm against their will; although I did not know it at the time, it was unethical for me even to try.

I had done what I thought was best; it turned out inadequate for all concerned. However, in 1984 I began to develop a new economic paradigm, because I had learned much over the years, and I no longer had the fear of not being able to support my family. My two oldest daughters were grown and educated, while my two youngest daughters were finishing high school. It appeared that my younger daughters, would have full scholarships. My wife had just obtained a well paying job and was now independent of me. My financial obligations seemed under control. I could now be as bold as I wished, for now it was only my own life that was at risk. I now began to relax the economic constraints on my activities, and focus solely on maximizing creativity.

The third economic paradigm, which took me at least six years to completely change to from the second economic paradigm, was that I would seek to maximize creativity with no economic concern, other than making sure that I had the necessary resources to keep my commitments to others, before I made these commitments, while I worked on whatever project I thought was most creative at the time. I have been in this third paradigm mode for the last two years. It works much better than the first two paradigms. If I had had the courage to try it, while I still had a wife and four young daughters to fully support, and if I had better known how to love others, I would have been much more successful, and my family would not have been so damaged. This leads me to the fourth and final paradigm, on which I will end my life, whenever that will be, and is part of Orit's and my cure, and the cure of our species.

My fourth economic paradigm is to spend the rest of my life learning, creating, and teaching the new Creative Transformation (see Part 2), Dyadic Autopoiesis, and whatever comes out of them, to all who qualify, with no concern at all for resources. I no longer need to do many random experiments, trying to discover how best to maximize creativity. I now know what the best path is for me. I now know, that I do not have to die in order to maximize creativity. I have been given a new vision, with much greater health and creative power; I intend to use it. My new life and whatever results from taking this path are the last experiments in maximizing creativity that I will do. Its outcome will test the validity of my ideas, which, I repeat, may be wrong. I now put my life on the line, to test these ideas. My whole life is now an unexpected gift, since by conventional medical wisdom I should be dead by now. My life is now part of a larger ongoing experiment in how to maximize creativity. It is the best I can do to maximize creativity with what I know now.

The Ethical State and the Moral Society, to which I dedicate my life, should grow out of the community of Dyadic Partners. Dyadic Partners, in essence, represent a new human species, which is healthier, lives longer, is more creative, is never driven by fear, and always seeks to maximize creativity, by playing the Game of Life in accordance with its rules and the Eight Ethical Principals. The new vision will quickly be shown to be, obviously true, or false, particularly if Orit or I die of a degenerative disease within the next 100 years. The new cures are evidence in favor of the new vision, but many experiments still remain.(See part 2 later on)

ORIT'S CURE

Orit called to tell me about her cancer in early November. I realized at once how serious it was to have gotten cancer at the same spot three times over the past two years. However, it would have been worse, if it had metastasized to the spine or the lungs, as often happens in breast cancer. I offered to go and see her right away, however, Orit was about to take a trip and was scheduled to be hospitalized in Houston on the 24th, at a time when I would be on another trip to New York, Philadelphia, Washington, and San Francisco, primarily to say good bye to old friends, fulfill some pending ethical obligations, and leave order behind me when I died. I was utterly convinced, at the time, that my heart would give out in a few weeks. I told Orit I would see her in Houston, but I did not see how I could see her before she began intensive chemotherapy, when she would be in a drug induced stupor. It seemed the best I could do, at the time, was see Orit after the intensive chemotherapy was over and she had become an outpatient over a period of four months. However, I expected to be dead by then, and she would immediately be put at great risk because of the chemotherapy. She was due to begin chemotherapy before I returned from my trip. I had a strong intuition that I should see her before she began chemotherapy. A series of totally unexpected synchronous events prevented Orit from starting her chemotherapy on time and made it possible for me to intervene on her behalf.

While still on my trip, I tried to reach Orit by telephone in Mexico City, but she was still traveling. I left a message to get in touch with me as soon as she got to Houston so that I could contact her. When I returned from my trip, I had a Fax from her telling me where I could send a Fax to her in Houston, but that she still had no telephone. I immediately sent the following Fax, urging her to hold off the chemotherapy until I could see her in Houston:

FAX Transmission from John David Garcia, FAX 503/937-2314, Phone 503/937-3437. Date: 2DEC92

To: Orit, Houston, Texas. FAX No. -------------

Dearest Orit:

I just returned from my trip to New York, Washington, and San Francisco and received your message. We had an autopoiesis related to your health last Friday in California, which included a woman with an MD, who was a surgeon and a clinician for over 15 years; in the last seven years she has acquired expertise in a new technology for super saturating your tissues with oxygen; her name is Maria; she lives in California. I believe we have a solution to your problem. I will go to Houston to give you the information and teach you a new autopoietic technique, which I believe you will find immediately to be of great help to you as soon as you can give me 48 hours of uninterrupted, private time for just you and me. You should receive this in-formation as soon as possible. Because it is mostly experiential, I cannot communicate it very well in writing. But I will go to Houston at my own expense to give you this information and teach you the new techniques as a gift, as a token of the love and respect I have for you. As with regular Creative Transformation and Autopoiesis, Advanced Autopoiesis must be given with love and never sold. Once I teach this to you, you can then teach it to others, as you wish. I will teach Advanced Autopoiesis, solely, to persons who have already learned the Creative Transformation process and shown that they wish to continue in Autopoiesis. It is unethical to teach it to others. I am confident that you will derive maximum benefit from Advanced Autopoiesis.

I am writing this FAX to you in English to save time and to flow with the environment in which you now find yourself. If you wish me to write in Spanish in the future, I will be pleased to do so. Please telephone me as soon as possible, hopefully before you begin your chemotherapy. Once you begin the chemotherapy, I realize that you may have to be sedated and may not be able to communicate for at least six weeks. What I have to teach you has an almost immediate effect with 100% efficacy. It is another option for you to consider which has zero cost to you, zero deleterious side effects, and will probably solve your current problem with a probability of 100% within 48 hours. Try it and see; you have nothing to lose but 48 hours.

If you have already begun chemotherapy, follow the advice of your physicians and contact me as soon as you are well enough to devote 48 hours of uninterrupted private time with me in an intensive learning experience. I also have a special message and a gift for you from Maria.

I know that Lucas, Ignacio, Stela, Carlos, and the many other persons who, along with myself, have the highest regard, love and respect for you, will be praying for you and wishing you the very best. In trying to find how best to help you, I have found how best to help myself and others who have entered into the Ethical State. Thank you Orit for being who and what you are.

With All My Love,

John David Garcia

END OF FAX

While I waited for Orit to answer my Fax and let me know how I could see her in Houston, I transcribed the previous Friday's autopoiesis, which had been recorded, somewhat haphazardly. (I recommend that all persons record and transcribe their autopoietic sessions, to better under-stand what is occurring) At the autopoiesis none of the participants, other than myself, had ever met Orit. I described her and her problem to the participants in about 15 minutes. This transcription was for the benefit of Orit, myself, and the other participants in the autopoiesis. I gave this transcription to Orit as soon as I saw her. The "unintelligible", "...", and "?", indicate that some or all of the comments could not be made out. The transcription follows:

Autopoiesis on how to help Orit maximize her creativity and solve her problem with cancer. Held at the home of Ted and Una at 7:30 PM on Friday, November 27, 1992

Participants: Ted and Una, Maria and Ben, Joan, John David, Alicia and Alvaro

1. She must learn to love her cancer by understanding what it is; it comes from her life; not from her death.

2. Unintelligible.

3. You love cancer by embracing and kissing it; not fearing it.

4. I see Orit going through a door.

5. Unintelligible

6. Both life and death come from within ourselves; we can choose either one.

7. I see Orit walking up a mountain; there is a cold strong wind coming from the top of the mountain trying to blow her back; she keeps pushing against the wind going toward the top;

8. To get to the top you have to work with the wind; not against it.

9. She has her face into the wind and she has narrowed her eyes so that she can see; the wind is blowing full into her face and her hair is being blown back; she keeps making progress but it gets harder and harder as she gets closer to the top.

10. One of the things that I was looking, from the information that I am getting, is that Orit has a lot of responsibility for other people; and letting go of the responsibility for other people; and you have to look at yourself and give yourself time; the reason you have cancer is that you have too much responsibility; you need more time; your current situation creates fear of confusion for you; we only have ourselves.

11. The best way to get to the top of the mountain is to go around it in a spiral; we move up as we move around it.

12. Our first obligation is always to ourselves; if we cannot help ourselves, then we cannot help others.

13. Unintelligible.

14. The sun? has sunk down in its frame.

15. The choice is always ours.

16. ? Avoid death seek life.

17. Unintelligible

18. Maybe Orit has too much to live for?

19. ? Orit may be living too much for us?

20. Orit must learn how to breathe.

21. I see a door that leads to ... center with furniture...I see a strong direction ? through the door?

22. The choice is Orit's to pass through the door, to stand before it, or to walk away from it.

23. Unintelligible.

24. On one side of the door is a little girl sitting by herself at a little table. On the other side she is one of many sitting in a large circle.

25. She is with a doll when she is alone.

26. Orit is full of love.

27. Very strangely she seems to have more love for others -- more than for herself.

28. Love is on both sides of the door; it is on the path up the mountain as well as at the top.

29. It is all around the mountain.

30. There is music pulsating through Orit; she is full of music - joy.

31. I feel great love for Orit.

32. I want to dance with Orit.

33. I see her dancing gracefully and lightly, filled with energy; she leaps from one part of the mountain to the other, effortlessly; she no longer has any impediments to her movements; she has infinite power within her self to go anywhere and to do anything.

34. ? She is soaring like an eagle.

35. Orit will teach us more than we will teach her.

36. I am in bed with head phones listening to music and completely indulging in dancing movements.

37. She is traveling on sound.

38. Orit will teach us all how to breathe; and in teaching us she will live.

39. We breathe with more than with our lungs.

40. Orit has the freedom to choose; there is no up, down, or around; she is in eternity; each breath brings life.

41. The breath we take is the breath we give.

42. Breathe life into others; then we become the others; we are all one breath.

43. Breathe in life by breathing out life.

44. I see Orit opening up a fig and looking at all the seeds turned inward; they seem like separated seeds; there is moistness and a little potato bug turned inward into a circle and opening up and little legs reaching out.

45. The scar on Orit's chest looks like the inside of the fig; the seeds are cancerous nodules.

46. The cancer is when the fig seeds are all gummy; when they are separate they can heal.

47. The skin is pealing off like a snake does; there is a pinkish nasty body growing; the flesh is growing joyfully, gracious.

48. There is an image of a kid; as if lying and monkeying about, looking at the sky and seeing a bridge to a tree; there are big bunches of grapes; a grape arbor; the beauty of seeing through the translucence of the ripe grapes; the sunlight comes through the ripe grapes.

49. Orit is standing in front of a huge cherry tree with some white blossoms; white, white, white -- overwhelming white blossoms; huge blossoms; the power of life; demonstration of life as I ?see it through flowers in abundance.

50. I feel great strength coming out of Orit and nourishing us all.

51. Surges of love from her body.

52. I feel the same.

53. I feel the same.

54. I feel joyful.

55. Abundance, abundance of life and joy;

56. I see a beautiful, ripe pomegranate bursting; so ripe it splits open; the seeds spill out;

and they have a whitish membrane that is clean and pure.

57. I see a beautiful rose opening full and smell its fragrance which fills the air.

58. Orit is a rose and her petals have embraced us all.

59. Unintelligible ... Orit can you see the light?

60. Each breath we take helps her to expand.

61. Orit's life is just beginning.

62. There is infinite potential ahead of her.

63. I know there are many opportunities to laugh; take them.

64. At another time we will seek her out and we will find Orit; we have shown her how to fly; it is an unexpected flight.

65. Orit has lovely wings as she soars into the sky; she smiles as she looks back at us; she swoops down to be among us then swoops back up again.

66. The thing that I am now looking at is that when you negotiate your contract for being in your body; I can see the cancer cells moving out just like they moved in; leaving the body.

67. Organize those cells and realize that as a group the wisest thing to do is to throw them away; the most powerful of them; get them to influence the rest.

68. You do not have to die in order to grow wings.

69. Orit, I will respect your choice either way; I will support you with all of my heart.

70. I think of ... a ... film; having the cancer cells join and linking arms with one another and doing a line dance weaving in and out -- like a figure eight -- leaving the body in a figure eight formation; there is a rhythm and a harmonic that they wage; they are easy to tune to and respond to; it is your choice; they are very sensitive to your wish.

71. Every cell in our body is sensitive to our mind; each cell is an extension of our mind; each cancer cell is a ? ball.

72. Cancer cells are musicians; they will play together if you let them.

73. Cancer is an attempt to create coherence between our cells.

74. All coherence comes from within; we all have the same within.

75. There can be no incoherence in the presence of love.

76. It is a good time for ripeness -- for fullness; a time for harvesting and giving figs.

77. Time for synthesis.

78. Organizing cancer cells in a simple configuration; it is too complex, confusing, throws off?

71. We are an ocean of life; with every breath we create a brand new wave; every human is a brand new creation.

72. I encourage you to stay in and let sound wing through your body; pure tone; let your body resonate; and cells fill the cavity.

73. As Orit listens to Die Kunst Der Fuge, all her cells will become coherent.

74. I (Maria) invite Orit to visit me and let us listen together to ... and Bach's Magnificat.

75. Orit will come to see you.

76. We all breathe as one.

End of Autopoiesis

By the time that the rest of the Octet receive this transcription of our Autopoiesis, I will have met with Orit, taught her the breathing techniques I learned from Maria after the Autopoiesis, discussed all these things with her, and taught her a new form of advanced Autopoiesis which is helpful to those who have entered into the Ethical State. You should all study this transcript; we will interpret it by consensus next time we meet at Maria's and Ben's at 7:30 PM on Friday the 22 of January. My love to all of you. John David

END OF AUTOPOIESIS TRANSCRIPTION.

I finally got to Orit's apartment in Houston at 11:30 PM on Friday the 4th of December. Although we were both very tired, we immediately went over the autopoiesis transcription. Orit was amazed at how accurately and insightfully an autopoiesis by people who did not know her reflected her life and her illness. She said she looked forward to meeting with me the next day and beginning the process. I told her I was confident that she would be cured, but I was not sure of the details. This was the first time I had done any of this; I was still groping.

We went to bed about 1:00 AM. Orit slept with her 18 year old daughter in the master bedroom, and I slept in the other bedroom. I was up, but feeling a little tired, by 8:00 AM. I had always suffered a lot from jet lag, but less so on this trip than ever before. Orit was up about 9:30 AM. We sat down about 10:30 AM to start the process. We had decided that all of our sessions would be in private in the bedroom I was using, while her daughter had the run of the rest of the apartment.

I went over the Creative Transformation process to clarify Orit's understanding of it. We went over the autopoiesis transcript in detail, and resolved that Orit kept inducing the cancer in herself because of some unknown fears. We discussed her conscious fears, and decided that some of the emotional baggage that she carried could be gotten rid of immediately. The most obvious thing was to forgive and love her worst enemies. It turns out that Orit only had two people in the world that she truly resented and saw as enemies. As we discussed this, we discovered through mutual insight that Orit's former partner, Malja, had become her professional, intellectual, and spiritual rival. Orit felt betrayed, and felt deep resentment against her.

I urged Orit to forgive Malja in her heart, and to immediately telephone, or write a letter to her, telling her how much she loved her and asking Malja's forgiveness for the resentment she felt against her. I cautioned Orit to forgive Malja only in her heart, and not to tell Malja she was forgiving her, but to ask instead for Malja's forgiveness. It is patronizing and shows a false love to tell someone that we forgive them. We should always follow the first rule of the Game of Life, and assume that if another hurts us or causes us to feel any negative emotions, we are entirely responsible for the situation and have no one to blame but ourselves. This is the attitude that is most conducive to maximizing creativity.

Malja could not be reached by telephone, but Orit wrote a very beautiful letter to her which she showed to me. It seems that Orit truly loved Malja very much, but that their professional jealousy caused deep ambivalence between them. Although they both went to a couples counselor for friends, they ended up fighting and blaming each other for the fear each had of the other. Orit could not resolve the conflict ethically, therefore she chose to die to make room for her friend, whom she loved, and to end the ambivalence and negativity she felt. This was, of course, part of the problem, but not all of it; she still had to discover experientially the connection between her negative emotions and her fear of oxygen deprivation, and to confront all her fears.

I took Orit's letter to Malja to mail. I also had to buy a quality tape player, so that we could play appropriate music while Orit engaged in the breathing exercises that afternoon. I asked Orit to write another letter to the other person she most resented, who was her former gynecologist, who had been her physician for over 15 years. It seems that Orit had detected a very small, less than one centimeter, lump near the surface of her breast and had immediately gone to see her physician with the fear that it might be cancer. He assured her that it was a benign tumor and that she had nothing to worry about. Over the following months, as the tumor grew to its four centimeter diameter, the gynecologist kept assuring her that it was benign. Finally Orit went to another physician, discovered that she had cancer, and there began her two year ordeal which was now threatening to kill her. She was to write the second letter, eat lunch, and rest while I was gone. I left at 12:30 PM and returned at 2:00 PM, as I had trouble finding an appropriate tape player, in the strange and rambling city of Houston.

When I returned, Orit had neither written the letter to her gynecologist nor rested, although she had just finished having lunch. It is important to let about two hours pass after eating before doing the exercises. I suggested that she rest, while I set up the tape player for her, and tested it and the tapes I brought. I had made the tapes from my own music library at the last minute just before I left for Houston. I thought that the music had been an important part of the experience. For myself and for other persons entering the Ethical State, I thought that a more appropriate sequence of music would be as follows: 1. the first thirty minutes or so of Bach's ART OF THE FUGUE (DIE KUNST DER FUGE), 2. Penderecki's THRENODY TO THE VICTIMS OF HIROSHIMA and his DIES IRAE TO THE VICTIMS OF AUSCHWITZ 3. Richard Strauss' EIN HELDENLEBEN (A HEROE'S LIFE) together with Gustav Mahler's 2nd Symphony (The Resurrection Symphony) and finally 4. Bach's entire ART OF THE FUGUE from the beginning. The entire performance took 4.5 hours and represented respectively the four basic matrices of Grof which he calls BM I, BM II, BM III, and BM IV. My recordings were not too good; I intend to make better ones in the future; but they seemed adequate to the task, and represented the best I could improvise in the 48 hours we had.

Orit was scheduled to begin her chemotherapy at 8 AM Monday morning. Her husband and son would arrive Sunday by 5:00 PM. I wanted to be gone, and us finished, by that time, so that she and her family could be together alone that evening. Orit had a probability of 10% of dying from the intensive chemotherapy, since it virtually destroys the entire immune system, and is highly toxic in itself. She gets enough toxins to destroy the cancer cells without quite killing her. She had had a bone marrow extraction from herself to preserve, and then to reinject, after the second round of chemotherapy. If she did not have the radical chemotherapy conventional medical wisdom said she was almost certain to die in the near future. I very much wanted her to improve enough not to need the chemotherapy, but 48 hours did not seem like enough time. A series of totally unexpected synchronous events had kept her from starting the chemotherapy earlier; otherwise we would not have had even these 48 hours. Additional synchronous events would contribute to her being maximally helped by what I was teaching her for the next four months.

I described the breathing exercises to her. This greatly frightened and worried her because she had once before had, what seemed to be, the same exercises taught, in Mexico City. to her and a close friend by a certified Grof facilitator from Esalen. Her friend died, unexpectedly, of cancer shortly after this experience. She saw me as teaching her something that she associated with her friends death. She thought that it might lead to her death also. I explained to her that I was teaching her a different process within a different context. It was one of several extensions of Creative Transformation, only superficially similar to the Grof Breathwork.

We began the breathing exercises at 3:30 PM. I explained to her how to breathe and told her that if she began to fall asleep or otherwise began shallower breathing, I would gently massage her right chest where her mastectomy scar and the cancer were. I was operating very much from intuition, since I had not studied the breathing techniques in depth, and I did not know how to deal with emergencies that might arise. However, I trusted my intuition and Maria's assurance that the breathing exercises could not hurt anyone, although I learned later that pregnant women, heart and stroke patients, psychotics, traumatized persons, and others, were vulnerable.

We closed the door to my bedroom and I asked her to get as comfortable as possible as she got into the twin bed I had been using. Although the apartment was quite warm, Orit is easily chilled; I wanted her to be warm. Orit was casually dressed with a sweater, slacks, and thick socks, in order to be comfortable she loosened her prosthetic brassiere, which compensated for her missing breast. I told Orit to do and say anything she wanted, including screaming. I put on the music, closed the blinds, and everything seemed fine, while the Bach was playing, although I occasionally had to gently touch her chest to remind her to continue with the deep breathing. I put one chair on each side of the bed so that I could attend her on each side. I sat next to her, near her head, and breathed deeply with her, just as my guide had with me.

As we got into the Penderecki music, I noticed Orit seeming more and more agitated. She was opening and closing her hands. I had not told her that my hands had been numb, but assumed that her hands were getting numb just as mine had. Then she complained that she was loosing all sensation in her hands. I held her left hand and massaged it gently, and assured her that everything would soon be all right. However, she became increasingly tense and said that her hands and feet were totally paralyzed and that she had lost all sensation in them. I calmly kept reassuring her that everything would soon be all right and that all of this would pass. Her hands were clenched in tight fists which I could barely open. She seemed to be getting hysterical that she had no sensation and that her hands were paralyzed. With great difficulty I opened her left hand and massaged it gently. Instinctively I stroked her forehead very gently. She now started screaming that she did not want the cancer, that she rejected it, and did not want it to be any part of her body. She screamed in Spanish "Go away you stupid cancer." I told her to give me her cancer and that we would both fight it together and defeat it. (Later, Orit told me that she was shocked by this suggestion, since she did not want me to get cancer.) She was sweating profusely and was soaking wet with sweat; she had been cool and dry up to then. She began to relax somewhat after this. As her left hand began to relax, I went to the other side of the bed to unclench and stroke her right hand. It also began to relax. However, she now began to have spasms of her whole body and to moan. I kept assuring her that soon everything would be all right, keeping in mind Maria's false, but completely trusted, assurances that the breathing exercises could not hurt anyone. My vision had also told me that the breathing exercises would be purely beneficial to those who were part of the Creative Transformation Process, but that I should only teach it to them. Later, I realized that only those who are close to entering the Ethical State are immune to all harm from the breathing exercises. At this time I instinctively began to gently massage the main Chakral areas of her body, although I did not yet know the theory of Chakral healing, which I would learn later that evening by reading HANDS OF LIGHT.

Later on, we discovered that the principal teacher of Barbara Ann Brennan, the author of HANDS OF LIGHT, had also been the principal teacher of her friend Malja, and eight weeks later I was told, by a third party, that he had also been Maria's teacher and mentor. His name is John Pierrakos. Indeed, the break up between Orit and Malja began when they both began studying with Pierrakos. Orit quickly determined, in her own mind, that he was a despicable, greedy, money grubber, although, to her, his ideas and concepts seemed true, profound, and relevant. Orit stopped studying with Pierrakos after only spending half a day with him, while Malja and Maria, I later discovered, went on to do extensive studies with him. More amazing coincidences.

The Chakral massages seemed to calm Orit. I focused on the head Chakras and the heart Chakra, but also massaged the central Chakras a few times, and the base Chakra once, over her clothes. She now relaxed much more and started to go to sleep. I massaged her chest gently, to remind her to resume her deep breathing, but she seemed to remain asleep. I then, instinctively, put my hand under the top of her sweater and gently massaged the scar area directly where the breast had been removed. If she had not loosened her brassiere, I could not have done this.

She now resumed the deep breathing on her back, and I massaged the central Chakra near her stomach. She then took my hand, put it under the bottom of her sweater directly on the cancerous tissues and tumors, and seemed to be asking me to massage them, which I did. She did not moan or have any more spasms after this. I would focus on gently massaging her hands, her forehead, and the top of her head. Whenever she would stop the deep breathing, I would massage her right chest; if she did not resume her breathing, I would again go directly to the scar tissue and tumors and massage them. She would usually again begin the deep breathing, if she did not, I would then speak to her to get her to breathe deeply again, which she eventually always did. Finally she let out a sigh of relief saying, "I can see the light." At this point I, instinctively, left her side and went to the window and opened the blinds to let in the late afternoon light which was still quite bright in Houston; it was about 4:45 PM. Then I returned to her side, periodically going from one side of the bed to the other.

As we left the Penderecki music and got into the Strauss and Mahler, she seemed ever more at peace. When we were near the end of the Mahler she told me that she had to go to the bathroom to urinate. It was now about 7:00 PM. I told her that was fine, but to keep up the deep breathing. She was very woozy and unsteady on her feet and I helped her to the bath room, then returned to the bedroom to wait for her. I heard her tell her daughter that she was well and that everything was all right She asked her daughter to get her a glass of water, which she brought back into the bedroom, about four fifths empty. She told me how much she loved her daughter, with whom she had a difficult pregnancy; it was the purest love of her life.

We now went back to breathing together. She seemed very calm. I still occasionally massaged her hands and head. When I went to massage her scar tissue directly, because she was not responding to the massage on the outside of her clothes, I noticed that she had tightened her brassiere again, and took that as a sign that I was no longer to massage the scar tissue and the tumors. Therefore, I spoke to her and got her to start the deep breathing again. As we got near the end of the Mahler she continuously would raise her hands, palms upward toward the ceiling. As we got into the Bach she began to have more and more hand movements. Finally she sat up in the bed and began to move her hands in harmony with the music. These were the most beautiful hand movements I had ever seen. They became ever more intricate and beautiful. I wished I had a video camera to record them. They seemed to fit perfectly with the ART OF THE FUGUE. Finally her hand and arm movements were so energetic that she got out of the bed and sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the bed from me. She now began to move her head and her upper torso with the music. Her breathing became faster and harder. She seemed to be going into some kind of a trance state. I became a little apprehensive for her, but remembered Maria's trusted words, again. Finally, Orit ordered me, at about 8:05, to bring her drawing materials.

I gave Orit a fine, felt tipped pen and about thirteen sheet of paper, which were blank on one side, the other side having the above transcript of the autopoiesis we had on her health. I asked her if she wanted me to put on the light, as it was quite dark, she said, "No!", and began to draw. She was drawing completely in the dark and could not see what she was doing, nor could I. But she drew with a precision and a determination as if she knew exactly what she was doing. She filled ten of the sheets. She later told me that the drawing was completely involuntary, and it was as if someone else was controlling her body.

She would begin drawing on a sheet of paper until it was full and then smoothly slide over and continue drawing on another sheet of paper. I would remove the sheets of paper out of her way and stack them together as she finished each drawing. Therefore, the sheets were in the inverse order in which she drew them. Later I saw that they were very intricate, unusual, abstract drawings, with clear structure and patterns, but I could not see if they meant anything, and neither could Orit. The next morning, as I studied them, I figured out their meaning. The early drawings represented her battle with an ever more aggressive cancer, which she was now beginning to win. The last drawing was quite different from the rest and represented her emerging triumphantly out of a vortex or whirlpool; Gros' book indicated that this was a common, spontaneous image. I told Orit, then, that I was confident that she was going to be cured.

After Orit finished her drawings, it was about 8:20 PM, and she seemed exhausted. I told her to lie down on the bed and relax, breathing any way she wished, and to finish listening to THE ART OF THE FUGUE, which she did. Everything was over by 8:40 PM. Orit was tired and hungry, and so was I, we did not say too much, other than that we could not figure out the meaning of the drawings. We each prepared dinner for ourselves; I was on a special diet. She went to bed at about 9:30 PM. I stayed up reading HANDS OF LIGHT until after 12 AM.

I was up, showered, packed, breakfasted, and ready to go at 8:00 AM. I felt extremely energetic and powerful. I seemed to have completely overcome all symptoms of my previous illnesses. I had never overcome jet lag so quickly. However, Orit was not up, showered, and breakfasted, until 11:00 AM. She said she had a terrible headache, and was afraid she was getting a cold, which would interfere with the chemotherapy, since she could have no infections when it started. She made an appointment to go to the hospital that afternoon. I had used the extra three hours to continue to read HANDS OF LIGHT and to study Orit's drawings; it was a good use of my time.

Starting at 11 AM I explained to Orit the meaning of her drawings, which she readily accepted. Then we discussed the fact that she was reluctant to forgive her former gynecologist. She really held her current cancerous state against him and could not forgive him. I pointed out to her, that he did not cause the cancer. He simply made a mistake in good faith. I said all physicians are fundamentally incompetent, because they know very little about the human body in relationship to what must be known. She told me not to say that, because she had to have faith in the physicians that were currently treating her. I told her that she must assume responsibility for her own life and not be a passive patient. Physicians and healers, of which I was now one, were merely resources which she had to choose how to use. She had chosen an incompetent gynecologist; he had in good faith done the best he could; she was responsible for accepting his wrong diagnosis for so long and believing the falsehoods she chose to believe; this was the first rule in the Game of Life. Orit sort of accepted this, but it upset her daughter who wanted to blame the hapless gynecologist and keep up Orit's faith in her current physicians. This was all taking place in the living room not in the privacy of my bedroom.

Orit, finally, after one more halfhearted struggle with me, decided to write a letter of forgiveness to her former gynecologist. She explained to her daughter that she was doing it for Orit's good, not for the gynecologist's good. She wrote a much less beautiful letter of for-giveness to the gynecologist than she had to Malja. I pointed out to her that this was a left-handed forgiveness and that she should be more forgiving. She said that she could do no better, that she truly loved Malja, but that she thought her gynecologist had done her a terrible wrong. I told her that if that was the best she could do, then we would leave it at that. I took the letter and said I would mail it, which I did. I told her we would now go to the bedroom and do the new advanced type of autopoiesis. I had not told her anything about Dyadic Autopoiesis.

We went into the bedroom at about 11:30 AM. She apologized for her daughter, whom she said was still very much of an adolescent. I did not comment. We discussed autopoiesis and how the communication by touch works. I pointed out that I had had a vision of how to do Dyadic Autopoiesis; part of the vision included the certainty, even though it was unethical to certain, that the breathing exercises together with Dyadic Autopoiesis would cure her cancer. She expressed fear of the cancer and a longing to have it cured. I suggested that the next morning when she went for the chemotherapy, she have the tumors checked visually and histologically, if there was any sign of remission, that she postpone the chemotherapy, so long as she seemed to be getting better, and keep doing the breathing exercises at least three hours a day; otherwise, she should go forward with the chemotherapy.

I advised her that at night, while going to sleep in bed, and in the morning, as soon as she awakes, she should listen to the 1.5 hour tape of Bach's ART OF THE FUGUE, which I had also prepared for her. In general, I advised her to do the breathing exercises often, for as long as she could, particularly when she went to bed at night and every time she awoke. The music helps keep pace and time the exercise. The ART OF THE FUGUE represented, to me, the most life affirming, spiritual, positive music I knew. Maria also sent Orit four tapes of inspirational music. I told Orit I would leave the tape player, so that she could continue to listen to this inspirational music.

Now came the most difficult part of the weekend. The Dyadic Autopoiesis involves the Chakral Embrace which is very intimate, although it is completely spiritual and nonsexual, with no genital contact at all. However, I felt that Orit might be apprehensive about it. I pointed out that I had never done this before, that it came to me in a vision, but that I was very confident that she would be cured of her cancer, if we did the Dyadic Autopoiesis, as I had envisioned it. I told her that in the Contract for Creative Transformation we had promised to tell each other the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about any matters which would affect our common creativity. This included speaking about our feelings and intuitions. Therefore, I was obligated to explain the process to her, which I now did.

She was somewhat shocked by the details of the Chakral Embrace, and said she could not do it. I immediately told her that she should never do anything that seemed wrong or made her uncomfortable. She should always follow the dictates of her conscience, while doing her best to make sure that her alleged conscience was not fear masquerading as conscience. I respected her decision. I told her that although I had a vision of what would cure her with certainty, it did not mean that she could not get cured with a variation on it. The breathing exercises seemed to have been very effective; we would now do a variation on the Chakral Embrace which might be just as effective. I explained to her what we would do, and this was acceptable.

We now stood and embraced each other. She is much shorter than I, so I brought my forehead down and touched her head and forehead, which were the most important Chakras in this process. We also had bare feet as we normally do in autopoiesis, and she stood on top of my bare feet to give her more height and to bring some of the minor Chakras in contact with each other. While we were still embraced and touching heads and feet, we repeated (in Spanish; all the spoken interaction between Orit and myself is always in Spanish.) the eight commitments given previously in step eight. She had no trouble with any of this, except when I said, "If you die, I shall die." She said she did not want me to die, and that the chemotherapy she was having, as well as her cancer, were very dangerous. I told her that she was not going to die, and that we would both live to be over 150. She said she would be grateful for just two more years. I said, "You have nothing to fear; I will always be with you. Whenever you have a crisis or must make a difficult decision, just think of me and say the meditation which is in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION ; then do the next thing that comes to your mind, particularly when you decide about your chemotherapy tomorrow. If you do this without fear, we, together, will never make a mistake." She told me that she would do so. The meditation I recommended to her follows:

MEDITATION

Fear is the belief I can't create.
Fear is an illusion.
I am creation.
I now create.

Orit also expressed some concern about the intimacy of our bonding, and how it would effect her marriage and family. I told her that our bonding was purely spiritual and that there was no limit to how many persons with whom she could bond spiritually. The more spiritual bonds she had, the more loving she could be to her husband and her children. Her sexual bond was unique and exclusive with her husband, and should remain so. She agreed. We agreed that when she was well, she would try to teach Dyadic Autopoiesis to our closest male spiritual associates in Mexico. She would try to overcome her fear, and engage with them in the full Chakral Embrace. (Next April, while visiting me in Oregon, Orit told me she thought the Chakral embrace was a metaphor for lowering our mutual defenses and loving each other in total innocence without hiding anything from one another. I told her that although this is all part of ethical love, I did not believe that the original vision of the Chakral Embrace was at all metaphorical.)

Next we sat down facing each other touching feet and holding hands in the regular autopoietic fashion. The first thing she said was "I give you my cancer." I said, "Thank you. I accept it. Together we will defeat it and you will get well. My immune system is now very powerful; it will help cure your cancer." Later I said, "I give you my strength." She said, "I accept it." The previous evening when I had asked her to give me her cancer, she had been unable to do it, since, she later said, she did not want me to get cancer. She now had more confidence that, together, we would cure her cancer. If I could not cure the cancer, I was prepared to die fighting it. If she could live for even a few years longer, I was prepared to die for her. However, I was confident that we both would live for many years to come.

We soon ended the autopoiesis. She was surprised that there were no metaphorical images as there usually are. I explained that that was not what was supposed to happen in Dyadic Autopoiesis. I assured that she would get well. However, I felt depressed because I knew she would not be well enough to avoid the chemotherapy. I felt I had failed her in not being able to lower her fear enough to fully try the Dyadic Autopoiesis, but I knew that enough had been accomplished that she would live through the chemotherapy and that the cancer might never come back. I also felt somewhat guilty, because, although I had come solely to help her, I now realized that I had gotten more out of the experience than she had. I had cured myself more than her. I had been strengthened more than she, although she had also been strengthened. However, I did not tell her anything about my negative feelings, and just shared the certainty with her that she would get well. My negative feelings were no longer relevant to her cure.

I felt a strong need to go away and return to Oregon. She gave me two books, as gifts for Maria and myself. I hugged and kissed her good bye; asked her to say good bye to her daughter, who was out, and left at about 1:00 PM. It seemed to me that I left somewhat hastily, but I had a strong need to go; my work was finished. I went to a restaurant, had lunch, did some sight seeing in Houston, then drove directly to the airport, and took the 6:50 PM flight to Eugene. While at the airport and on the flight home, I read more of HANDS OF LIGHT.

When I returned to Eugene I stayed up until 2:00 AM reading my mail which had greatly accumulated after three weeks of continuous travel. I had devoted almost two weeks entirely to Orit. The next morning I was up at 8:00 AM, fully refreshed, and full of energy; I had zero jet lag. I had an overwhelming need to write this essay and share it with all who might benefit from it. I wrote 18 hours per day for the next four days to finish it. On Thursday morning at 5:30 AM Houston time I felt that Orit had had and would have many crises due to her chemotherapy; I felt her distress and sent my spirit to help her, as I engaged in the breathing exercise. By 7.30 AM Houston time I knew that her past and future crises were resolved; the mucous lining of her digestive track would die and her immune system would be devastated, but she would survive. With, what seemed 100% certainty, I knew that she and I together would defeat the assault of viruses and germs on her weakened body over the next six months. The cancer should never recur. She would be completely cured. As Nietzsche said, "What does not destroy me, strengthens me."

The very instant that I finished writing the previous paragraph, Orit called me. It was 2:30 Houston time. We had not spoken since Sunday. We both expected that she would be sedated undergoing chemotherapy by this time. I was very surprised to hear from her, but overjoyed. She had been having crises. She had a collapsed lung the previous day and had considerable trouble with the insertion of a subclavian catheter. All this had delayed the chemotherapy. For technical reasons, new biopsies of her tumors would not be done. I told her of my vision of the previous eight hours. I told her that we would fight together and defeat the assault on her body. Her life was my life. Her death was my death. Together we would both live. We were forever joined. Together we would create the Ethical State and The Moral Society. Henceforth, we would each visualize the other in our crises, and triumph over all adversity. Nothing could defeat us.

MY CURE

My serious medical problems began in the winter of 1969-1970, when I was 34. I was then at the height of my physical and mental (classical, not quantum) powers. I was extremely strong and could do over 200 chinups at a time; I did a very special type of heavy isometric exercises combined with isotonics that gave me a champion athlete's body; my company, Teknekron, of which I was founder, president, and chairman, was making me very rich, powerful, and respected. Then I began to write THE MORAL SOCIETY as a lark, primarily to explain my sociopolitical ideas to others. I planned to run for governor of California and then the presidency, as soon as I accumulated $100 million; it appeared that this would be very soon; elections were cheaper then.

As I got into writing the book, I began to change, and what began as a lark turned into an obsession. I could not stop writing. When I slept I started getting visions about what I would write the next day. These were the first visions of my life. I would write 18-20 hours per day. I finished the entire book in 12 weeks, even though I remained at the head of my company and kept up my essential duties. However, when I was about two weeks into the book, I came down with the worst flu of my life. I have never been as sick before or since, not even when I almost died of pulmonary edema and heart failure over 22.5 years later.

This flu was a national epidemic, which killed tens of thousands of people. My entire house-hold of eight persons, except for one daughter, who was destined to be a physician, came down with the flu and suffered greatly. It seemed that the virus picked up virulence as it went through each person in the household. I was the last to get it. It knocked me out completely for two weeks. For the first time in my life I became delirious with fever. It took six months before I stopped coughing and got rid of the most overt lingering symptoms of the flu. For 23 years, I was not able to do any kind of heavy exercise, as it would quickly cause me to start coughing. From now on almost any cold or physical stress would cause coughing that would last several months. I later learned that this virus infection had seriously damaged my heart and my lungs. My heart had what is known as "a right bundle branch block", which together with a chest X-Ray and a heart echogram, indicated in July of 1992 that over 30% of my heart tissue had died; an entire ventricle seemed dead; the other one barely functioned. However, the worst thing was the chronic cough and the fact that I could no longer do heavy exercise. From this time on I became increasingly overweight, and then in the last few years developed type 2 diabetes. All of this led to the pulmonary edema and congestive heart failure of last July.

While I was at the height of my crisis in 1969, and thought I might soon die, a foggy vision came to me, that the viruses that had infected me were communicating information which would enable me to turn my book into something wonderful; this was clearly metaphorical; the price I had to pay for the information was to permanently damage my health and to die very soon. When I was able to go back to writing, I had a very strong sense of impending death and that I must finish the book before I died. As I finished the book, I realized that once it was published, it would destroy any possibility I ever had of going back to my previous life, or of being elected to any office. The price for the book was death. However, over the next few years I would discover that this "death" was also a metaphor.

While I was in the midst of my flu crisis in 1969, I heard on the radio, Penderecki's SAINT LUKE PASSION. This was the first time I had heard this great composer. I recognized his music as the music of death. It seemed very appropriate at the time; I became a fan of Penderecki.

When the book was finished, in late February, I gave a copy of the manuscript to all the senior staff in my company. They were very upset. The net result was that I gave them all my stock in my company for $50,000, which enabled me to support my family for two years. I figured I would be dead by then, but the book would be out, and my family could survive on my insurance. I no lon-ger needed a $100 million. It took me twenty three more years to finally "die". However, this metaphorical death was not of my body but of my ego. My ego died in stages; I had a very big ego at the time. About half of it died during 1970 and 1971. Another 30% died in the following ten years. Another 15% died between 1981 and 1991, and the final tiny fraction that was holding me back seemed to die by the end of January, 1993. As my ego finally died, my body regained its health and I began to heal in all ways. I am now healthier than I have been since 1970. My new life began on Monday November 30, 1992 with the realization that I had an unconscious fear of oxygen deprivation, and that this fear, like all fear, was an illusion. I was now free to live.

My physical cure was only partially effected on November 30. Up until that time, the pulmonary back pain had been getting increasingly worse for the previous four weeks. The major symptom was that I would wake up with terrible, almost unbearable, back pain, which would force me to get out of bed. I got less and less sleep at night than I needed, and I was reverting to the 20% efficiency mode of operation. It was clear to me that I was soon going to die a non metaphorical death, and I would not have a chance to die in peace on the south coast of Oregon, as I hoped. The night after the first breathing exercises, I noticed that all the pain was gone and I had the first good night's sleep in a month. I had much more energy the next day. However, my focus was entirely on helping Orit. I now had the energy to do all the work that had to be done to help her and take care of all of my other responsibilities within the three days that it took me to put together the plan for her cure, including transcribing the autopoiesis, preparing the tapes, and getting to Houston. I now worked about 12 hours a day and had very few jet lag symptoms when I got to Houston. When I returned from Houston, I had no jet lag symptoms and I could work almost 18 hours per day, while being much more creative and productive than ever before.

In helping cure Orit, I cured myself, and I am now almost completely well, although the full cure may take one year more. My 23 year test is over. However, I have found that if I do not take care of my body, by dieting, physical and breathing exercises, I begin to develop a slight pulmonary edema type pain in my back again after sleeping about eight hours. Fortunately, I now do not need so much sleep. I can work an 18 hour day, after only six hours of sleep. The best thing I have found for my health is to sleep as long as I can, whenever I can. Also, as I go to sleep, when I wake up, while I am driving, waiting in a line, listening to music, walking, etc., I do the breathing exercises. It is possible to substitute deep breathing time for sleeping time. If you use this simple formula you will greatly improve your health.

The greatest progress, however, will come from repeatedly, ethically teaching others the new, expanded Creative Transformation process, which now includes 4.5 hours of deep breathing exerci-ses during the section on fear, then engaging in Dyadic Autopoiesis with all qualified persons.

I intended to end this essay with the previous paragraph; however, the instant I finished the previous sentence, I was called by a professional associate, a brilliant inventor named "Ron". Through another coincidence, Ron lived in Israel, and had children born there, at the same time that Orit and Lucas lived there, and had their two children born there; at the same time, Stela and Ariel were also living there. Why Ron called me for medical advice, I do not know, since our relationship is in regard to physical inventions; it seems synchronous. I might never have even thought of the following matters and begun to pay attention to all the things I had to do to maintain my body in good health, if Ron had not called me.

In late 1992, Ron had a stroke and was seriously impaired. He is still partially paralyzed, and has difficulty reading. He is a Ph.D. in physics. He was studying CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, when he had the stroke; he had read at it, briefly, once. The advice I gave him for restoring his health will work for many others, but not for all:

1. Do a continuous four to five hours of the breathing exercises as soon as possible; but do not do them by yourself the first time; it is best to do them within the Creative Transformation context, or at least have someone you love and trust with you when you first do the breathing exercises. REMEMBER, THE BREATHING EXERCISES SHOULD NOT BE DONE BY PREGNANT WOMEN, PSYCHOTICS, STROKE VICTIMS, HEART OR RESPIRATORY PATIENTS, TRAUMATIZED PERSONS, OR OTHER VULNERABLE PERSONS.

(I only learned later, from Maria, about all the dangers of the breathing exercises, and that stroke victims like Ron, particularly those who have a lot of negative emotions, as he does, should not do the breathing exercises, without proper supervision.)

2. Repeat the breathing exercises, which hyperoxygenate the blood without hyperventilating, as often as possible, using some of the strategies given earlier in this essay; you cannot do these exercises too often; the more you do them, the more creatively productive you will be; it is the best possible investment of time in yourself. Part of the secret of permanent maximum fitness is to hyperoxygenate the blood in a natural manner that is completely under your control.

3. Eat all the fresh vegetables you wish, preferably raw, but, as a minimum, eat the equivalent of a large salad a day; consider baked potatoes as a staple; solely drink pure water and juices.

4. Eat four different fresh fruits, but not more than six fruits totaling 800 grams, per day.

5. Eat the equivalent of at least four slices of multigrain bread per day; the order of preference is wheat, corn, rye, millet, oats, and brown rice, all of which you may eat in a non-bread form, e.g. tortillas, oatmeal cereal, cooked rice; you may eat as much whole grains as you wish, so long as the grains have no processing other than grinding and cooking, and contain nothing other than water and minerals. Consider all natural whole grains and vegetables, as staples.

6. Try to cut out animal fats, but eat no more than 100 grams of turkey or chicken white meat per day, if you must have meat. Try to substitute beans or fat free skim milk cheese for meat.

7. Eat fish at least once a week, but not more than twice a week; eat no meat on fish days.

8. Have at least one, but not more than two, table spoons of olive oil per day for your fat needs. Use other vegetable oils, if you must; preference inversely proportional to the amount of processing that went into producing the oils; avoid all oils that have been subjected to high temperatures in their processing, such as margarine; avocados, olives, nuts, and peanuts are equivalent to 75% of their weight in unprocessed oils. Try to eat solely during daylight hours.

9. Do your best to avoid all other foods, sodium salts, and every type of drug, including alcohol, coffee, tea, tobacco, and marijuana, as well as medicines. If you take medicinal drugs, but follow this entire program, you shall be able, under your physician's care, to wean yourself from medicinal drugs. Natural, unrefined herbs and spices, even dried, are edible vegetation.

10. Do mild aerobic exercise every day, equivalent to brisk swimming, or walking at least 30 minutes, at a moderate pace of about three to four miles per hour, plus at least 10 minutes per day of personally optimized calisthenics (see part 2); if you are pressed for time, ill, traumatized, or tired from insufficient sleep, you may, occasionally, drop the exercises until everything is well. Frequent aerobics, during daylight hours, without glasses or contact lenses, in a quiet, unpolluted, natural setting, is essential, for permanent maximum fitness.

11. Do your best to teach the new Creative Transformation and Dyadic Autopoiesis to as many qualified persons as you can; without receiving any compensation, other than the act of having taught it. However, let SEE first teach you how to qualify persons so that you do not harm those who are weak and vulnerable. (See part 2 on how to qualify and teach new students.)

12. Do your best to treat everybody with love and respect, even your worst enemies, by always assuming that they are ethical and might benefit from reading, at least, the introduction to CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION. However, only offer it once, and never push it on anyone. Do not judge them, if they are unresponsive to the Creative Transformation process; try to feel, and show, solely love and compassion for them; never blame those who seem to hurt you; remember, you can only hurt yourself. Nothing real can be threatened. Your only true enemy is your own fear.

Adults who begin this regimen by the age of 35, will have a life expectancy of 100 years, if they focus mainly on the first 10 points. Doing fully all 12 points, will raise life expectancy to at least 150. Children who practice all 12 points, before 15, will have a life expectancy of over 200 years. Remember, that a specific life expectancy does not mean that we are going to live that long, but merely that the average person in a population with that life expectancy will live that long, if something does not kill him or her first. In the United States human life expectancy at birth is today about 75 years, but many die before the age of 10. No one on earth seems to have a life expectancy of over 150 years.

If Orit, our students, or I ever live to be 150 or more years, that will be strong scientific evidence that these ideas are probably true. If Orit or I die of a degenerative disease within the next fifty years, or if we even age in the normal manner, that will be strong scientific evidence that these ideas are probably false. I hope to have several dozen more experimental subjects, in addition to Orit and myself, within the next few months. A valid experimental subject must have understood the Creative Transformation process, committed to play the Game of Life, engaged at least twice in regular Autopoiesis, and then engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis at least once. More complex experiments will compare experimental subjects with varying numbers of Dyadic Partners, as well as varying objective indicators of commitment to the Game of Life.

All these ideas are what my quantum connection has told me. My lucid visions have never been wrong, but there is always the first time. It is ethical to doubt. It is unethical to be certain. Simply do the best you can to maximize creativity, according to the dictates of your own conscience. If you do so, you cannot fail. Those in the Ethical State should try this experiment.

(End of First Part of this Essay)

PART 2: A PRACTICAL IMPLEMENTATION OF THE PREVIOUS IDEAS AND PRELIMINARY EXPERIMENTAL RESULTS

This extension to the previous essay was finished on February 13, 1993 after testing the ideas.

The major results during the previous eight weeks of experimentation are the following:

1. Orit's cancer had almost completely disappeared within four weeks of our session together, two weeks after having finished her first chemotherapy session. Her immune system fully recovered in ten days, 4 to 20 days ahead of schedule. Her doctor had told her, that, if the chemotherapy were successful, it would take several months for the cancer to disappear; she should not expect to evaluate the disappearance of her cancer on a day by day basis. Her immune system would take at least two to four weeks to recover enough to begin the second, and last, round of chemotherapy. He was very surprised by the results, and ordered a second round of chemotherapy for Orit, ahead of schedule; it began on 21 January. No patient known to Orit had ever recovered and started the second round of radical chemotherapy as quickly as Orit herself.

2. After her first chemotherapy round in mid December, Orit had her immune system almost comp-letely destroyed and then became vulnerable to infections, which produced a fever in her. She eventually recovered from the infection. All of this was in 100% agreement with the visions I had and shared with Orit on December 10, 1992. However, I was concerned about her vulnerability to infections now, and after her second round of chemotherapy. Therefore, I asked for, and received, a new vision of how to help her; the dyadic autopoietic bond between us was holding.

3. The new vision was that she should drink a tea made with echinacea, sage, and other medicinal herbs. I had never taken or used herbs in any systematic way and knew very little about them. Therefore, I began studying about them, and developed a formula that I felt I should first try on myself. This formula was as follows: 6 parts echinacea (the major strengthening agent for the immune system, that has zero side effects), 4 parts goldenseal (another strengthener of the immune system, tonic, and natural antibiotic, but it has side effects if used in large doses over long periods of time), 4 parts hawthorn berries (a heart and cardiovascular strengthener and restorative; it has no side effects), 3 parts ginseng (a general tonic and stimulant to the entire body, particularly the nervous and arterial system; it may have side effects in large doses over long periods of time, but it has been used for thousands of years), 3 parts sage (a natural antiseptic, particularly effective against mouth sores that occur in chemotherapy patients; no side effects), 1 part garlic (a powerful, natural antibiotic; with no side effects), 1 part cayenne pepper (a heart stimulant, stomach soother, and catalyst for all other herbs; only side effect is that it may be an irritant to the mucous membranes of the digestive tract, if used in excess), 1 part lobelia (stimulates lungs and respiratory system, lowers blood pressure; dangerous side effects, if taken in excess; it can be a powerful poison), 1 part comfrey (restores damaged tissues, and is a natural antibiotic; as a side effect, it may produce cancer, if taken in excess, over long periods), 1 part thyme (restores gastric system and is a natural antibiotic; no side effects), 1 part fenugreek (promotes healing of wounds and of type 2 diabetes; no side effects), 1 part parsley (a major natural source of all major vitamins, a natural megavitamin supplement; no side effects), all put, one tenth of a tea spoon at a time, into hot, skin tolerable, not boiling, pure well water, with no chlorine, in a single full cup of water, fresh every morning and drunk within fifteen minutes but not sooner than five minutes after being freshly made throughout the day: one cup on arising, one cup after every meal or snack, and one cup just before going to bed. I also would drink about another two liters of cold well water, along with the tea, by twice filling, with cold well water, then drinking each cup, immediately after the warm tea was drunk, thereby consuming all the dregs of the tea that were left in the cup. I took this tea, two weeks, before recommending it to Orit.

4. The effect of the tea on me was spectacular. I had already been feeling extremely well, and had been working 18 hour days with only six hours of sleep. The tea made me even more energetic and filled me with an overwhelming sense of well being. I hated to go to sleep at night, but did it only out of a duty to my health and creativity. I would then spend about one hour doing the breathing exercises and meditating until I would fall asleep. When I awoke, I would have a strong need to go to work and create something new. I felt I had to channel this extra energy into physical activity in order to maximize my creativity. I, therefore, resumed a mild version of the isometric and isotonic exercises I had been unable to do for 23 years. I incorporated the breathing exercises with the isometrics. I quickly regained my strength, and within two weeks was able to do the same degree of physical activity that I had done when I started my exercises at the age of 34. I was confident that I would, in time, develop the same health I had at 34. I was progressing in the exercises faster, at the age of 57, than I had at 34.

5. My intuition was that this tea was too powerful, for both Orit and myself, to be used for a prolonged term. Furthermore, some of these herbs, such as comfrey and lobelia, had been shown to produce deleterious side effects, if used in excess. Comfrey had been shown to cause cancer in rats, if fed to them as more than 8% of their diet over a prolonged period of time, although as a minor part of the tea, the comfrey consisted only in about .001% of the daily diet. There-fore, after further consideration I recommended to Orit that she use a less powerful version of the tea, focused on her cancer and immune system, which did not contain any herbs with deleterious side effects. This formula was as follows: 6 parts of echinacea, 3 parts of hawthorn berries, and 3 parts of sage. The hawthorn berries are mostly for the heart, which I needed more than Orit. However, she was in danger of heart arrest from the chemotherapy, and high fevers. I also felt that the bonding between us required that we drink the same tea. Therefore, I gave this recommendation to her. Later on I recommended that she add to that formula 1 part of garlic, 1 part of cayenne pepper, 1 part of parsley, and another, additional 2 parts of echinacea. This is the formula I began to take after an unusual event. However, Orit and I later discovered that the cayenne, even in these very small doses, might be irritating to her recently traumatized digestive tract. If you also have this sensitivity, cut down on the cayenne in both the Elixir and the Tonic to whatever is tolerable to you, even eliminating it.

6. While I was taking the more powerful formula, I was so energetic, strong, and focused on getting things done, that I caused an accident to myself. My home in Oregon is heated primarily by a wood stove. One day while trying to fill the stove with wood, a log got caught on some coals inside the stove and it would not go in. Since I now felt invulnerable and all powerful, I pushed the log with all my strength to disintegrate the coals and push it into the stove. The coals disintegrated all of a sudden and my arm went into and against the red hot stove, along with the log. This produced a very severe, and painful, second to third degree burn on my arm, which reminded me that I was still mortal and vulnerable, that I should stop taking the more powerful tea, and get in touch with my mortality by taking the same formula of tea that I was recommending to Orit. This is when I modified the formula I had originally given her.

7. Up until the time of the burn, I had been making spectacular progress in my health. I had gone to my regular physician to check me out to establish an objective base line for my improving health. At the time of my heart failure in July, it was determined that at least 30% of my heart was dead with one ventricle not functioning at all and the other ventricle functioning at about 50% of normal. My heart was greatly enlarged and the prognosis was poor. When I returned to my physician in late December, I seemed, to her, much better. My diabetes, which had produced a sugar level of 250, was gone, after two years of little improvement. I now had a sugar level of less than 100 (normal). But most amazingly, my heart seemed to have regenerated. There was no way to explain this. They still had the video tape of the old echogram, and it still showed a severely damaged heart. The new echogram showed an almost completely healthy heart. Their conclusion was that either the first, the second, or both echograms were in error. This seemed very unlikely, so they ordered a MGGA scan (uses internal radiation from an injected pure gamma ray emitting isotope to produce an image on a gamma ray sensitive camera, which is computer enhanced and recorded on video tape); it still showed a healthy heart. They said the previous tests must have been in error; but the old echogram, the X-Rays, and the EKG showed a severely damaged heart. There was no question that I had been in pulmonary edema and heart failure in July. I explained to my doctor that I had begun a new treatment based on breathing and physical exercises combined with herbal teas. She could not believe that these could have made so much difference in such a short time. She was in fact correct, it is the synergistic interaction of the entire Creative Transformation process with the diet, teas, and exercises that produced the effect. These things in isolation from one another would be like the breathing exercises, palliative, but not transformative. I therefore gave her a copy of CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION to read. If she reads, and minimally understands the book, I will explain the entire process to her. Otherwise, it would be a waste of time.

8. After the burn, I was in a lot of pain for two weeks. It had been the worst burn of my life. Fortunately, I had some aloe vera plants in the house, which I had originally gotten solely for decorative purposes. By splitting these plants lengthwise and applying the internal secretions directly on the burn, an almost miraculous relief of pain and healing instantly occurs. Unfortunately, although I had learned of aloe vera's effectiveness during my recent study of herbs, I did not think of it at the time of the burn, and did not apply it until four hours later; the earlier it is applied the more effective it is. This, and my new heightened state of health, enabled me to completely recover from the burn, in two weeks, with only a slight discoloration left. In the past, this burn would have taken months to heal, and left a terrible scar for life. The burn was painful evidence of my new power, and its limitations.

9. The burn, immediately caused me to regress to a state of health from early December, before I went to Houston, but after the first breathing exercise. My blood sugar shot up to 175 and my back pain returned; but I learned an important lesson. I should take the powerful tea, which I will now call, "the Elixir", for at least one, but not more than two, weeks, every three months, and use the improved formula of the tea, I recommended to Orit, as a daily "Tonic" to strengthen the immune system and the heart, for at least four weeks, but not more than eight weeks, at a time. Let your system rest from the Tonic for at least one month, before resuming to use it. The best schedule, seems to be, one to two weeks of Elixir followed by four to eight weeks of daily Tonic, followed by one to two months of no tea, with a new cycle beginning at the two solstices and the two equinoxes, when the stimulation of light to the pineal gland changes. I now began to do follow this routine. In two weeks I recovered fully from the burn, and fully regained my previous health; all back pain gone, blood sugar normal, creative energy very high.

10. In the meantime, Orit had completely recovered from the chemotherapy and was ready to begin the second round. I told her, at the time that I recommended the tea, that my vision was that the second round would be much less stressful and less dangerous (from infections) for her; the tea and our joint, new mental state would quickly build up her immune system. Her physicians had told her that the second round of chemotherapy is always worse than the first, and that she would be in even greater danger from infections this time. My vision turned out to be correct. Orit flew through the 2nd round of chemotherapy and constantly improved each day, for the following ten days. Then we made a mistake, which might have been disastrous for Orit.

I had been having daily meditations on Orit, since I returned from Houston. During her second round of chemotherapy, I had eight meditations per day. The meditations, naturally fell into two categories, which came to me in two spontaneous, metaphorical, rather than lucid, visions. The first vision was that Orit and I were floating in intergalactic space surrounded by stars and galaxies. As we floated, we were in the Chakral Embrace and rotated slowly, about one revolution every eight seconds, around a common axis between our corresponding, seven major Chakras. As we rotated, I repeated to her the eight commitments of the Dyadic Autopoiesis. This vision, and meditation, I interpreted as strengthening her, when she was weak. The second vision, and meditation, was like the first, but instead of rotating, while in the Chakral Embrace, I held her right hand with my left hand, and we both pointed with our free hands toward a distant galaxy, toward which we were flying at a speed much greater than light, while we were both filled with joy, as the nearby stars and galaxies streamed by us. This second vision and meditation, I interpreted as a flight of victory toward the future, and the Moral Society, when we were both strong and triumphant over all adversities.

I had the visions and meditations, in this order, as she had gone through her first round of chemotherapy and then triumphed over the infections that threatened to kill her. I had the first category of visions for the first week, when she started the second round of chemotherapy, and then, gradually, these turned into the second category of visions, as she recovered from the chemotherapy, and regained her strength. On Tuesday, the 2nd of February, 1993, I had a lucid vision of Orit triumphantly recovered from her chemotherapy, and almost as well as she had been before she began it; that vision, although true, misled me into believing that Orit no longer needed me. This was wishful thinking on my part, because I had many pressing issues to deal with; although the vision said she was well, it did not say that she no longer needed me.

From the time I had returned from Houston, I had meditated on and visualized Orit and myself in one of the two visions. During her second round of chemotherapy, I meditated on her eight times every day. As the visions became of the second category, I began to taper off, until on February 2, 1993 I had only two meditations, of the second kind, on Orit. She was in fact feeling fine, on that day. I, then, became very busy and focused on another problem, totally unrelated to her. For three days, much to my regret, I did not think of her at all. During that time, I became a little less energetic, but I did not have a relapse. However, Orit began to become, seriously ill, first with nausea, so she could not drink her tea, and then with infections, and a fever on Wednesday, and got sicker each day, until she called me Friday morning to tell me how ill she was. I immediately realized what had happened, but merely told her that I would immediately begin doing eight meditations a day on her health, and that she would begin to get well, without any further decline. I promised to call her over the next few days. Although she had been getting steadily worse through Friday morning, by Saturday morning she was slightly better, and by Sunday morning better still. I, then, explained to her what had happened, confessed, and apologized for, my negligence, and told her I would keep doing at least eight mediations on her health every day until she was completely well. I would never again stop thinking of her for even one day.

To preserve the full power of the Dyadic Autopoieses, it is necessary for both partners to meditate at least once a day on each other, and more often, when one of the partners is in distress. Forgetting about one another, for even a single day, greatly weakens the power of the Dyadic Autopoiesis, very rapidly. Remember this is a quantum process, and distance is not important, but thought is. Orit is still improving. She will be completely well. (I later verified this to be true through several independent experiments.)

As I finished writing the previous sentence, Orit called me, and told me that she had been discharged from the hospital and was constantly improving, but that she felt very weak and completely done in; she would never have chemotherapy again, no matter what. I again apologized for my negligence, but pointed out that this error led to an important discovery about the dyadic process, which I had not, previously, understood. We are now both committed to meditate on one another, at least once a day, for the rest of our lives. All Dyadic Partners must do the same, and never forget about one another, even for a day. One meditation a day is enough, when there is no distress; when there is distress, do eight meditations per day; meditate according to your own visions; do not try to imitate mine; however, if you have the same visions, use them. I called her the following Saturday, and she was almost completely well. I told her that I would now cut down my meditations on her to two a day; to call me if she had a relapse. (She has been constantly improving to the present day, 10 May 1993.)

11. I am going on with my exercises and my complete plan for permanent, maximum fitness which is reflected in maximum creativity. I have found that my intellectual capacity, and creative imagination, have increased considerably. I can now solve problems in mathematics, machine design, human relations, and the development of the general theory of Creative Transformation, that I could not solve before. The amount of synchronicity in my life is enormous, and integrated into a coherent whole of maximum creativity. However, I have encountered one unexpected problem that saddened and perplexed me. I will now relate it to you.

12. In the first essay I told you how favorably impressed I had been by Maria. I trusted her completely and never dreamed that she would hold back information from me. We had signed a common contract for Creative Transformation in which we promised to tell each other the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, together with expressing our feelings to each other about the other, insofar as all this information was relevant to our mutual creativity. Maria had assured me repeatedly that the breathing exercises were completely safe and that no one could be hurt by them. When I got back from Houston, I was very enthused about the process, as I had improvised it with Orit, and wanted to share all this information with Maria. I specifically asked her if there was something else I should know, since I was planning to incorporate the breathing exercises with the Creative Transformation process, then teach the process to others, just as I had taught it to Orit. She told me that I should follow my own intuition and do what I thought was right. I was then doing the breathing exercises about three hours a day; I now only do about one hour total per day of breathing exercise, all integrated in my new life.

Since my very dear friend, Stela, was pregnant, and I planned to teach the process to her, I specifically asked Maria, if it was all right to teach the process to pregnant women. She then told me that this was the one exception; the breathing exercises might induce a miscarriage or a still birth; they definitely should not be practiced by pregnant women. I felt, at the time, that it was a serious lapse on her part not to have told me about this, since she had repeatedly assured me that the breathing exercises were completely safe. However, she did not know that I would be dealing with pregnant women; I put it all down to a simple error.

Later on, I had the suspicion, not the vision, that the breathing exercises, because they were so relaxing to me, and ultimately also to Orit, might also be useful to women during child birth. I incorporated this caveat in the first version of my essay of December 10, 1992. I then sent this to Maria together with later revisions of the essay, which were more polished and incorporated clarification of the ideas, and my plans for how to teach the new Creative Transformation process with the breathing exercises incorporated, plus other information, but did not hear from her, other than friendly Christmas and New Year cards. The latter had information and suggestions on how to find, in Oregon, certified facilitators from Stanislaw and Christina Grof's organization called "Grof Transpersonal Training, Inc." They call their trademarked technique, "The Holotropic Breathwork".

I took this last communication to mean that Maria now saw me as a convert to the Holotropic Breathwork and that I would want to set up training centers for this work within my sphere of activity. I had specifically and personally told Maria on November 27, 1992, and then in writing in my essay of December 10, 1992, that I thought that the breathing exercises were probably highly effective, but that I thought that Stan Grof's theories seemed to incorporate some psychofraud; my intention was, clearly, to take what I thought was valid and incorporate it into the Creative Transformation process, not to promote Holotropic Breathwork outside of this context. Therefore, I was a little puzzled by Maria's communications on these matters and her complete lack of response to the specifics in my essay. I hoped to ask her about these things when I saw her at our next autopoiesis, scheduled for January 22, 1993. There was much more going on in Maria's mind, than I had even the remotest inkling about. She was, in fact, very disturbed about what I was doing.

A CONFRONTATION WITH MARIA

When I arrived for the autopoiesis, Maria greeted me with her usual warmth and kindness. We sat down for the autopoiesis and waited for Joan to arrive. Alicia and Alvaro did not come that evening; Ted had brought a new man, who seemed to have very little knowledge or understanding of the Creative Transformation process. Normally I would have explained the process to him before we started, but for the next half hour I was focused on discussing the new Creative Transformation process with Maria. She was convinced that it would be a disaster, as my students would go around the world teaching it to others, and in the process killing them. I was astonished by this suggestion, since she, herself, had assured me that the breathing exercises were harmless except for pregnant women.

As we talked, it came out that the breathing exercises could be very harmful to heart and stroke patients, psychotics and others. They should never be practiced with pregnant women, even during birth. I asked her why she had not told me any of this before, since I had specifically asked her about the dangers. She said she was sure I would not listen and that she wanted to make sure that neither her name nor Stan Grof's name was associated with my project. I assured her that this would be the case. She said I should only have certified Holotropic Breathwork facilitators teach the breathwork. I assured her that I would do that, since the last thing I wanted was to hurt anybody. She said that it took 500 hours of supervised breathwork, the last 380 hours with the Grof personally to become certified. She said she would never have taught the techniques to me, if she thought I was going to teach them to unqualified persons, who would then go out and teach others and in the process kill them. She was certain that this would cause a scandal, end up in the newspapers, and ultimately threaten the legitimate work that she and the Grof's were doing. I told her that I wanted to cooperate with her, and not have a confrontation with her. She recommended that I immediately begin accumulating my 500 hours by going to her next breathwork class on the following Monday, which I promised to do.

At this time Joan arrived; we had a moderately successful autopoiesis. I felt that the tension in Maria and myself (I still had a lot of pain from the burn.) together with the lack of preparation of Ted's guest, detracted from the autopoiesis. However, Ted felt that he and Una had their question, on which the autopoiesis was focused, answered. I still had a lot of questions for Maria, but thought that they should wait for later, after I took her class on Monday.

On Monday I took the four hour workshop from Maria. Her husband, Ben, whom I liked very much, served as my guide. He was an excellent guide, but I no longer needed a guide, since I had been practicing the breathing, three hours a day, for eight weeks, no longer fell asleep during the breathing exercises, and no longer had any anxiety at all about the breathing process as it applied to me. However, Ben did some things that were very helpful; I liked having him there. From Maria's admonishment, it was clear I still had much more to learn, if about nothing else, why it was that Maria was so upset and why she had not told me about her concerns earlier.

The process was, as far as I could tell, exactly as it had been the time before, with exactly the same music played in the same sequence. Many of the same people were also there. However, I had a few surprises. The first was that my hands and feet again began to get numb, as occurred the first time. In the last eight weeks I had spent almost two hundred hours doing the breathing exercises, and not once had my hands or feet gotten numb. I ascribed the new numbness to the fact that I was on an improvised foam mattress on a cold floor in a cool room, and possibly to the yelling and screaming that was going on from the other participants, as on the first occasion I did these exercises. This time I was closer to the other participants, although still somewhat apart from them. Their yelling and screaming bothered me more than the first time, but it was something that was easily tolerated.

In order to ward off the numbness, I began flexing my hands and feet as before, but combined this with isometric exercises, as I do every morning. This greatly relieved the numbness, and it was much less bothersome than it had been the first time. As my exercises got more vigorous, Ben first put a tennis ball in each of my hands, which I found very helpful and useful. Then as I began to rapidly move my legs and feet in rhythm with the music, as further gratifying exercise, Ben put more foam padding under my feet, so that I would not hurt them by banging them on the floor; my feet extended over the end of the mattress. The exercises were important to me, because I did not have nearly as interesting an experience, nor any clear visions, as I had had on the first occasion eight weeks previously. In fact, I would have been bored during the three hours that I went through the breathwork, if I had not had the exercises to occupy me during the three hours. When I do the breathwork alone, it is not nearly so boring, because I am not disturbed by the screaming and yelling, and I can meditate and solve problems in my mind more easily, particularly as I listen to my favorite music as I go to sleep at night. I also integrate my morning breathing exercises with isometric exercises that are more interesting than those I was improvising lying down on the floor. Still I did have a few insights during this second session with Maria; these seemed to come from my quantum brain.

I should point out that when information comes to me from my quantum brain, it falls naturally into four categories; these are (1) lucid visions, (2) intuitions, (3) insights, and (4) suspicions. The lucid visions are always very clear, seem to be absolutely true, and have always turned out to be true. The intuitions are not always completely clear, but are almost always true, after they have been further clarified by experience. The insights are usually clear, but how to apply them is usually not obvious. The suspicions are clear and original, but true only about half of the time. The latter information seems to come from my animal imagination, while the three former types of information, seem to come from my human imagi-nation. It is important to learn to distinguish these four types of quantum information.

During my first session with Maria, I had extremely lucid and extensive visions, all of which were incorporated into the essay of December 10, 1992. The second time, I merely had a few insights. They were as follows:

1. I still had more to learn about the breathwork, but not necessarily from Maria, Stan Grof, or any of the Grof facilitators; however, I should investigate the Grof network more.

2. The fact that I was feeling some annoyance from the screaming in the background, was an indication of a lack of compassion on my part for those who were significantly weaker than I.

3. The greatest weakness in my character, at this time, was a lack of compassion for the weak.

4. If Orit and I were to successfully create an Ethical State, we both had to learn to have more compassion for the weak and to interact with them in the most creative way possible, even if they would never be part of the Ethical State. I am still not sure about how to do this.

5. I should spend some time, in private, with Maria, trying to understand her position and why she had not clearly communicated the dangers of the breathwork to me in advance.

6. The breathwork serves mainly to allow us to see ourselves clearly from the perspective of our greatest fears and weaknesses; we must then take this information and make ourselves whole.

7. Most persons will fail to do this, unless they are in or close to the Ethical State.

8. Those who fail to use the breathwork to creatively transform themselves, will either reject it outright, or turn it into a ritual which imitates the Creative Transformation process but leads to neither enhanced creativity nor significantly greater health, but to the illusion that they have, in fact, been creatively transformed; this latter state will be attractive to many.

After the session, I spoke to Maria and asked if I could see her the next afternoon. With her usual grace and kindness she agreed to see me at 2:30 PM. I cannot overemphasize how much respect, admiration, and gratitude I felt for Maria. She not only had saved my life, and Orit's, by what she taught me, she had given me the most powerful tool I have ever discovered to enhance the Creative Transformation process and teach it to others. I very much wanted to maintain her friendship and cooperate with her. I did not want to do anything that would, in any way, be harmful or disturbing to her, if I could ethically avoid it.

The next afternoon I met with Maria and asked her outright if the breathwork was dangerous, and if it was, precisely to whom. I now established for the first time the class of persons to whom the breathwork was dangerous. It was basically dangerous to all persons in whom the breathwork would produce a lot of tension, psychological or physical, if they were pregnant, had heart trouble, were prone to strokes, had incompletely healed wounds or broken bones, had hernias, and other similar conditions. I then asked her why she had told me that it was not dangerous after I had told her that I had a serious heart condition, and asked her directly if there was any danger. Why did she again refuse to tell me of the dangers when I told her I was going to teach the process to Orit, and again specifically asked her if there was any danger, and still later asked her if there was anything else I should learn. She said that I was sufficiently evolved mentally, that I would not die from tension, unless I chose to do so. I would live or die as I chose. She felt that telling me about the dangers in advance would only have contributed to my tension and detracted from the very worthwhile experience I, in fact, had. Orit was so sick, that she had little to lose, making me aware of the dangers in Orit's case would have done little good and might have also inhibited the process. Maria's position seemed unethical to me; I asked her questions trying to understand her position without judging her personally.

Maria eventually said she thought it was best that she not be an intermediary between me and the breathwork network. She still seemed very upset. I thought I finally understood the nature of her fear, but I did not know how best to discuss it with her. Since all my attempts to communicate with her and calm her were only making matters worse, I thought it best to go along with whatever she said and meditate more on the situation and ask persons who knew her well, how best to communicate with her. I still felt the utmost love, respect, and compassion for Maria.

Therefore, I told Maria that I would follow her advice and explore working directly with Stan or with his certified facilitators. We hugged and kissed good bye, but I went away feeling very sad on the verge of depression. I felt I might be losing a very dear friend, whom I loved and wanted only to help maximize her creativity. It seemed every thing I did, decreased her creativity, by arousing negative emotions in her. I could not yet see how I could keep the contract for Creative Transformation with her, without inducing negative emotions in her.

My depression lasted two days, the pain I was still feeling from my burn might have contributed to it, since I am rarely depressed and usually have a positive, optimistic attitude toward almost everything. I felt that my immune system was weakened, but I did not get ill again and was fully recovered and completely well within 48 hours after my confrontation with Maria.

During the next two days, I first warned all the key persons I had given a copy of this essay about the newly discovered dangers, then I explored working directly with Stan Grof and decided that, at this time, it was best to get to know Grof first through his students. Maria was the only Grof student that I knew, up to now, and possibly my original guide, who might have been his direct student. Both had made very positive impressions on me, although Maria's was beginning to fade, much to my sorrow.

During the next four days, I spoke to persons who knew Maria well, and told them about the communication problems I was having. Apparently this was not uncommon. The consensus, that was reached by all the persons to whom I spoke, was that Maria was very loving and supportive toward all persons who did not challenge her. But that if anyone challenged her paradigms, she would immediately cut off all communication, and eliminate them from her life; she seems to have been more communicative than usual with me; I had always found her generous, loving, and kind.

Later I heard a talk by Stan Grof and saw him interacting with his wife and their students. I was very impressed by Stan. He seems to be a highly intelligent, erudite, sensitive, empathetic, and good man. He is extremely charismatic. I could understand why Maria venerated him. However, I thought the best way to understand the situation would be to first interact with Stan's students, rather than with Stan himself. "By their fruits ye shall know them".

I interviewed about ten of Stan Grof's facilitators, including some who knew Maria personally, during the next few days. They were much less concerned about what I was doing than was Maria, and without exception expressed a positive attitude toward our program in Creative Transformation, and how we incorporated the breathing exercises. Most of these facilitators were counselors, and psychotherapists; some were medical workers, and one was a physician. From talking to them, I gathered that there was much less danger to the breathwork than Maria had indicated, but there was some danger. Therefore, I will use all the caveats previously given, even if they may arouse excessive fear in persons who might otherwise be benefited by the process. Apparently Stan Grof's main objective, in the breathwork training, is not the mechanics of the breathing, but on teaching persons to be loving supporters of those who are in crises; it is essential that we have empathy and provide support for such persons, or they may become injured in the breath-work. Stan Grof is also concerned that no one represent him or herself as teaching his breath-work (Holotropic Breathwork) from his institute, Grof Transpersonal Training (415/383-8779), unless they have been certified by him. In fact, Grof seems to tell all his students that they will, and should, each develop their own version of his techniques -- rather than copy him.

From interacting with Grof's students and reading his books, I gathered that he is a very good man, teaching a very worthwhile discipline, but it is clearly an incomplete paradigm. The Creative Transformation process is a much more complete paradigm, much more likely to maximize creativity, which is not Grof's central objective. He is, after all, a psychiatrist trying to help neurotics and psychotics. Creative Transformation, including the new version, is in no way a form of psychotherapy. If it is medicine, it is, like all aspects of the Creative Transformation process, preventative medicine, for those who are already, at the mental and spiritual levels, healthier than the norm. Creative Transformation, is an amplifier more than a cure.

Therefore, nothing that we do in the new five day Creative Transformation introductory process is part of Stan Grof's Holotropic Breathwork; it is something quite different, which uses deep breathing exercises, which have existed in Yogic and other practices for thousands of years. They have been developed independently and incorporated into other modern traditions and practices, as diverse as rebirthing and public speaking. It is merely a coincidence, although a synchronous one, that I learned, experientially, about the value of deep breathing exercises through a student of Grof. I will take what I have learned, and teach it in my own way, according to my own paradigm, within the Creative Transformation process. I will, at first, be over cautious, and teach the breathing exercises, which are less than 10% of the student's working time at the new five day workshop, as merely one technique for both confronting one's fears, and then, lowering them. It is the ultimate conquest of fear, that is curative, not the breathing.

This is what I believe is so threatening to Maria, and produced her strange behavior, which I would never have expected from such a lovely person. I will always feel nothing but love for, and gratitude to, Maria, however poorly she may think of me; it is mainly for her that I first wrote, and continue to write this essay, knowing that everything I say here, and elsewhere, may be in error. We must never use our ignorance as an excuse for inaction. We must, at all times, use all we know, and can imagine, to maximize creativity, while remaining open to negative feedback about our mistakes. Mistakes will always occur, but constantly diminish, as we take ever more, and greater, risks, solely for the purpose of maximizing creativity.

Mysticism is always the source of all original, true ideas, when the mysticism is based entirely on love, and not at all on fear. When mysticism is based on fear, it produces only false ideas, which those who do not believe in them call "superstition". Science is merely one technique for separating true mystical ideas from false mystical ideas. Scientists and mystics should always work together by learning each others disciplines. Each is relevant to the other. Each enhances the other, when they both have an open minded love of truth in approaching each other. We must all be thoroughly mystical in our science and thoroughly scientific in our mysticism. We should all be open to having all of our paradigms scientifically challenged, if we wish to maximize our own creativity and that of those we love. We know that we are being motivated by fear any time we behave contrary to our own interests, or feel any negative emotions toward anything.

If I, or anyone else, speaks of your paradigms, and their creators, with less than total devotion, do not resent us, but pity our arrogance and aggressive ignorance, because we cannot see what you so clearly see. Be open to testing ideas contrary to your paradigm about anything, so that you can help us overcome our ignorance and self delusion, and then maximize our creativity. In that way you will maximize your own creativity. Respond to our errors with love, not fear. There follows a version of a brochure on the new Creative Transformation program; this shows how I took ideas from Maria and Stan Grof, then incorporated them into my own paradigm.

I am not now nor do I ever expect to become a certified Grof facilitator. The program that follows is uniquely my own. I and I alone am responsible for its effects. Maria and her husband Ben have completely disassociated from me, since receiving a somewhat more detailed version of this essay.

A NEW PROGRAM FOR CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION

The five day program will begin at 9:00 AM sharp on a Monday morning. You will not be admitted, if you are late. You may be up to one hour early. If you do not show up, you are not entitled to a refund. You may request, and immediately receive, a full refund, at any time after 5:00 PM of the first day, even if you stay until the morning of the sixth day, when the program officially ends; all instruction and formal teaching will end before 5:00 PM on the fifth day.

On the first day, you will be given an extended, six hour version, of the intensive audiovisual presentation, described in the enclosed brochure, plus participate in open ended discussions. You will also meet your classmates and be integrated into the SEE household, which will include your helping with the cooking, cleaning, and other housekeeping duties. You are asked, to pull your own weight, and not be a burden to anyone else. It is estimated that all your housekeeping duties will average less than 1/2 hour per day. No breakfast will be served the first day.

At 7:30 AM each morning, you and your classmates will do no more than 20 minutes of breathing and physical exercises. The latter include isometric and isotonic exercises that are part of the SEE program of permanent, maximum creative fitness; breakfast is 8:00 AM to 9:00 AM. You will also be introduced to the SEE dietary program, which is predominantly vegetarian, with no meat served during your stay at SEE, but with one fish dinner during this period. There will be no beverages served at SEE, other than pure, unchlorinated water from our own well, together with about six cups a day of a natural, unrefined herbal tea that is made with this water. No drugs of any kind are allowed at SEE. Each day you will have two, two hour breaks for lunch and dinner. At all other times, until 10:00 PM each night, you will be participating in the work-shops and learning. It will be an intensive, but creatively stimulating, experience, for you.

On the second day you will have workshops all day on how to apply the Creative Transformation process to optimally and creatively solve basic, practical problems in your life, in economics, education, and important, difficult social interactions with others, in general.

On the third day you will have an all day workshop on the conquest of fear. You will learn radical, but practical, new ways of how to creatively solve the problems caused by fear and anxiety in your life, and eliminate the stress they cause, thereby, overcoming all impediments to maximum creativity and health in your own life, while helping those you love, help themselves.

On the fourth day you will learn another radical, but practical, new technique of creative problem solving, in small groups of two to twelve persons, which amplifies the imagination.

On the fifth day you will learn the details of the SEE diet and exercise plan, to which you will have been gradually introduced during the week; you will be taught how to integrate everything you have learned to become permanently, maximally creatively fit, such that, if you wish, you can develop the spirit of an enlightened mystic, with the mind of a creative artist, scientist, entrepreneur, and leader, all integrated within a beautiful, healthy, athletic body. This is all feasible, no matter your current age, or physical condition, so long as you are not mentally or physically incapacitated. If you fully follow the new program for Creative Transformation, you shall become immune to all degenerative diseases, such as cancer, heart and artery disease, and type 2 diabetes; you shall also be more resistant, although not immune, to infections, trau-ma, and toxins. There will be an open ended discussion, on the entire Creative Transformation program, before 5:00 PM. After supper, there will be a class social, followed by your last night of sleep at SEE, with breakfast served in the morning. You are expected to leave on the morning of the sixth day by 10:00 AM, but we will talk to you longer, if it is important to you.

While at SEE, you will always be treated with courtesy, respect, and affection, provided with comfortable, private bedrooms for couples, and semiprivate rooms for singles.

There are additional, future opportunities for those who wish to continue to work with SEE. Paid, 100% scholarship apprenticeships, together with permanent staff positions, are available, to the graduates of SEE; but nothing is yet promised or guaranteed beyond what is given above.

The preceding is a brief description of the new program on Creative Transformation. Since most of you will have read CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION, and possibly taken this or an earlier version of this program, before reading this essay, I will only elaborate on what is different from what is in my books or what you may have studied in our earlier programs. The main differences between the new and the old programs are the following:

1. The first day will incorporate all the material of the old audio-visual presentation, but expanded to six hours to incorporate more information about a) the relationship between science and mysticism - particularly quantum mechanics and the tapping and derandomization of information from the implicate order; b) the unity of body, mind, and spirit and how they interrelate so as to maximize creativity in a maximally fit person; c) why emphasizing one of these three attributes over the other two, or any two to the exclusion of the third, will eventually diminish our creativity, and as a consequence constitute an unethical act; the only ethical way to maintain and enhance our health is as a total generalist -- spiritual, mental, and physical; d) the potential for life extension and immortality and how that is tied to ethics and total health -- spiritual, mental, and physical. Only morality can engender immortality.

2. The second day will be devoted entirely to learning to use the evolutionary ethic, by analyzing all three, not only one of these problems: a) Sexual Ethics and our ethical obligations to ourselves and others concerning sexual behavior; b) Educational Ethics and our ethical obligations to ourselves and others concerning how and what we learn and teach; c) Economic Ethics, and our ethical obligations to ourselves and others in how we best provide for our basic needs for survival and well being, and meet our economic obligations to others so as to maximize creativity without diminishing anyone's creativity, including our own.

3. The third day will be devoted entirely to learning what is fear and how to cope with it. In the morning the concept of love, and how it is the only antidote to fear, will be taught within the context of making loving commitments to even our worst enemies, and how the love we give to others lowers our fear and makes us much more creative than the love we receive. Persons will sign the Contract for Creative Transformation, as previously given. Those who significantly water down the contract will be observers and no longer participants in all the exercises and workshops that follow; otherwise they may leave and have their $200 refunded. They will then each make an unconditional commitment of love to each other. In the afternoon, the entire group that made an adequately strong commitment to maximize the creativity of each other, will be taught the breathing exercises, as I taught them to Orit on December 5, 1992. They will be taught the exercises as a way of confronting their own fears and learning how to deal with them by recognizing that the primordial fear that drives all of us, and most impedes our creativity, is the fear of oxygen deprivation. They will all be provided with drawing materials after the breathing exercises, if they ask for them. Nothing else will be done on the third day, dinner will not be served until the breathing workshop is over, which should be about 7:00 PM.

4. On the fourth day, the students will do the Quantum Dialogue in the morning and the autopoiesis in the afternoon, just as they have on the last day of old workshop. That evening they will discuss the autopoiesis and their experiences. After this, as a homework assignment, they will, for the first time, be given this entire essay to read, by the next morning.

5. On the fifth day, the students will discuss the SEE diet and exercise program and how it relates to their health, life expectancy, and total creativity during their life and beyond. This will include making and preparing the Elixir and the Tonic as well as the following extensions and details of the recommendations I gave to Ron.

a) Eat as many raw vegetables as you can each day, but always include, as a minimum, one medium sized carrot, two thin slices of a medium onion, two thick slices of a medium cabbage, all, or some, combined in two sandwiches, if you wish, with one table spoon of extra virgin olive oil, up to 25 grams of grated sapsago cheese, other fat free skim milk cheese, and herbs, as condi-ments and essential nutrients, to give each vegetable sandwich, as much satisfying flavor as possible. The next preference is to eat cooked, healing vegetables, such as broccoli, brussel sprouts, and cauliflower, which might not be so palatable raw, but still have great value.

b) Eat at least 100 grams, but not more than 150 grams, of different fruit for each 20 kilograms of body weight, but include at least one apple, one orange or one half grapefruit, and one other fruit of your choice each day. Into your one liter thermos, of Elixir or Tonic, each day squeeze one half of a small lemon or lime, first thing in the morning, as you make the tea. When you are not drinking the tea, squeeze the lemon or lime, into one of the liters of pure well, or spring, water which you should drink every day for each 20 kilograms of body weight.

During the five day program, each participant will drink about one liter of the Elixir every day; remember, only drink the Elixir at least one week, but not more than two weeks, every three months. Whenever you do not drink the Elixir, drink the Tonic, one liter every day, at least four weeks at a time, but never more than eight weeks at a time. Every time you drink a cup of the tea, wash out the cup by drinking two to three full cups of cold well water from the same cup, immediately after your cup of tea. These extra drinks serve as "chasers" to the potent tea, help you consume all the dregs, and, in themselves, contribute to your health.

c) Prepare the tea fresh every morning, the first thing as you arise, after thoroughly rinsing the cup with hot, pure well or spring water. Remember, use only hot, mouth tolerable, not boi-ling, pure well or spring water, to make the tea, then let it sit for at least five minutes, in the cup, before drinking it. At the end of each day, right after drinking your last cup of tea, thoroughly rinse out the cup with hot well or spring water. This removes the less desirable chemicals which are produced through oxidation and decomposition during the day. You will notice that the tea, once prepared, loses its flavor quickly; it should all be drunk within fifteen minutes of preparation. Learn to listen to your body; it will guide you in these matters.

The tea is a natural dietary supplement which gives us necessary chemicals and vitamins, which we could only, otherwise, obtain by eating an extremely varied diet with many different varieties of vegetables, fruits, and meats which are difficult to obtain. The reason that meat is not recommended on the diet is because of the effect of animal fat on a life style with relatively little exercise; we can overdo the physical aspects of our being, so that we spend all of our time dieting, exercising, and sleeping; that will not maximize creativity or even optimize our physical health; only doing that which maximizes creativity, will optimize our physical health. The exercises and the diet program are designed to give us the maximum time possible for creative work, after spending the minimum time necessary, maintaining and toning our body. Furthermore, the fact that animals concentrate chemicals, hormones, and toxins from the environment, which we further concentrate when we eat them, is another reason for avoiding meat. For the same reasons, try to eat only organically certified vegetables, grains, fruits, and meats, when you can. This is also why you wash the cups so thoroughly each day. Even if you eliminate all degenerative diseases, become extremely resistant to infectious diseases, so that you never catch them, and avoid all trauma, you will still, eventually, be killed by toxins.

d) Eat at least 200 grams, but not more than 400 grams, per week of fish for each 40 kilograms of body weight. The preferred fish for sources of essential disease preventing, and body fat eliminating, oils, are fresh mountain trout, salmon, anchovies, herring, and tuna. Canned fish, packed solely in olive oil or water, are an acceptable substitute, when fresh fish are not readily available. Cold water fish are generally preferred over warm water fish. Fish with scales are preferred over all other sea food. We could eat more fish, and benefit from it, were it not for the fact that the oceans are now extremely contaminated with heavy metals and many other toxins which are concentrated in the bodies of fish. For most persons, their liver cannot long tolerate much more contaminated fish than this recommended amount; the least contaminated fish are mountain trout, found far away from cities, close to the sources of major rivers. The closer the fish source is to the ocean, and the lower the altitude, the more contaminated will be the fish. Humanity is currently destroying the planet; only an Ethical State can eliminate the destruction. As I said in THE MORAL SOCIETY 23 years ago, there is too much short term gain in the long term destruction of the earth to be offset by societies whose fundamental ethic among all major political leaders is to maximize their short term power and wealth.

e) No one grain has all the nutrients of all other grains. Therefore, it is essential to eat grains in combinations. The best combination is whole wheat and corn. You can approach this in a good multigrain whole grain bread with minimum animal fat or processed oils and salt. This type of bread is difficult to find. The chain of Great Harvest bakeries in the United States has about the best of the commercially available breads. To get really good bread, you must make it yourself from organic grains, which you grind yourself, immediately before baking; there are now automatic bread makers, to minimize time spent on this task. However you get your daily bread, remember to include, at least, 50% whole wheat and 20% whole corn, plus rye, millet, rice, amaranth, quinona, and other grains according to your tastes. A good way to operate, is to eat, each day, four slices of the best multi whole grain bread you can find, together with four tortillas made with nothing but whole, yellow corn, water, and a trace of lime. Avoid all preservatives in bread, tortillas, or any other food; they are usually toxins, which accumulate in the body. Black beans and brown, whole grain rice are also an excellent combination, particularly for persons who are allergic to wheat, as many are. Beans, and all legumes in general, can substitute for many grains in many combinations, and various combinations of legumes, particularly soybeans, and grains can provide the same satisfaction and nutrition, without the toxins, of many meats. Vegetables, legumes, and grains, make the best staples.

f) Other than fish, the other major source of essential fats, such as Omega 3 and Omega 6 fatty acids, and the linoleic and linolenic acids, in general, are cold pressed vegetable oils, that have not been exposed to air, light, or high heat for long periods of time. The best of these oils are the cold pressed virgin oils, such as extra virgin olive oil, safflower oil, rapeseed oil, peanut oil, and corn oil. Highly processed and hydrogenated oils, such as margarine of all kinds, cottonseed, coconut, and palm oil, are usually worse for you than animal fats; you would be better off using butter or tallow. Strangely enough, if you eat the right oils, you will actually lose weight rather than gain it, if you are over weight; but do not overdo it, good fats, are still fat. Among the best, and most readily available, of the good fats, is olive oil. Drink at least one, but not more than two, table spoons per day of extra virgin, first cold pressed, olive, or equivalently good, oil per each 40 kilograms of body weight. Cold pressed safflower oil, is one half the price of extra virgin olive oil, has more essential nutrients, and is almost as tasty. Consider it as an excellent substitute for olive oil, but let your taste and instincts guide you in this. Three handfuls of raw peanuts per day, will meet most of your oil needs, but try to avoid processed peanuts, such as most peanut butters.

Also try to drink at least four glasses of pure cranberry juice per week. If you cannot take the tart taste of pure cranberry juice, then sweeten each glass with up to one quarter of a glass of apple or grape juice. Cranberry juice concentrates essential enzymes and chemicals which are almost as important as the omega 3 and 6 oils, but are difficult to obtain elsewhere.

g) Finally, do the following physical activity each morning: immediately after awaking, do the breathing exercises for at least one minute but not longer than twenty minutes, then prepare your daily cups of tea. While waiting, five to ten minutes, before drinking the tea, do the breathing exercises then drink your first cup of tea (Elixir or Tonic) or take a hot shower:

i) every morning, either just before or immediately after drinking your first cup of tea, take a shower as comfortably hot as is feasible, which should last at least two minutes, but not more than twenty minutes, enough to warm up, relax and loosen your muscles, but not so much that you wash essential oils out of your skin, or hair;

ii) while showering, after thoroughly washing and rinsing your entire body, do the breathing exercises for at least one minute while massaging your back from your lower back, to as high up your back, as the rear of your hands can reach; the longer you do this the better, so long as you do not stay in the shower beyond the maximum limit of twenty minutes; 10 minutes is best.

iii) after showering, dry your entire body, including your head and between the toes, with an absorbent 100% cotton or linen towel; now drink a cup of tea, if you did not do it earlier;

iv) after drying, while nude, take at least four deep breaths, but not more than eight deep breaths, exhaling as when you normally do the breathing exercises, and then one more 3/4 breath without exhaling, before doing each of the following isometric exercises, which will give maxi-mum possible strength to your white muscles, which do the heavy work for you; you exhale fully, as with the breathing exercises, and repeat the four to eight deep breaths, after each of the isometric exercises, which also serve as warm ups for the isotonics, which you will do immediately after finishing the isometrics; each exercise involves building up tension over five seconds, then holding at maximum tension for ten seconds, then releasing tension over another five seconds, so that the total time for each exercise is at least twenty seconds but never more than twenty five seconds; it is important not to exert maximum tension immediately, but build it up over five seconds to avoid hurting yourself; if you do not have an instructor for these exercises, it might be best to practice a few days, building up tension each day slowly, before applying maximum tension; before starting these exercises, as well as the diet, review the whole program with your physician, and make sure that she feels you can do the program without harm to yourself; we are all different; and some persons must be much more careful than others; if these exercises are done properly, they should never hurt anyone, because they involve only your own muscles, from one part of your body, working against your own muscles of comparable strength from another part of your body; as you get stronger your muscles automatically work harder:

v) 1st: press your palms together as hard as you can without moving any part of your body; hold your hands together in front of your chest with the fingers pointed upward in a votive position;

vi) 2nd: hold your hands together, each hand in a clawing position, holding the fingers of the other hand, in front of your chest, and then try to pull your hands apart with all your strength, but without moving any part of your body;

vii) 3rd: put your arms straight out from your body with the fingers pointing away from you and each palm pressed against the other palm, then press your palms together as hard as you can without any movement of any part of your body.

viii) 4th: put your arms as straight out and as high up as you comfortably can behind your back with each hand holding the fingers of the other hand in a claw position, and then try to pull your hands apart with all your strength but with no movement of any kind.

ix) 5th: standing erect with your back, your neck, and your head straight clasp your hands behind your head, your fingers interlaced, and then with all your strength, press forward with your hands, and back with your head so that there is no movement.

x) 6th: sit down on a chair and stretch your legs in front of you, pointing as straight out, at as close to a 90 degree angle as possible to the rest of your body, with your right ankle over your left ankle, but be sure that you are comfortable as you do the exercise of pressing down as hard as you can with your right ankle while you press up as hard as you can with your left ankle, without any movement of any part of your body;

xi) 7th: repeat the above exercise with your left ankle over your right ankle;

xii) 8th: now stretch both legs straight out from you, and with your hands above your knees try to press your legs down, as you press your legs up, with your abdominal muscles, so that there is no movement of any part of your body;

xiii) 9th: now while still sitting straight as you can, knees and legs together with toes on the floor, but your heels raised at least two centimeters above the floor, with each hand grab each corresponding knee and pull back with all your strength, while you try to lower your heels to the floor, so that there is maximum tension, but no movement;

xiv) 10th: now stand erect in a normal doorway and put the back of each wrist against the door frame holding your hands as low as you can, push as hard as you can against the door frame with the back of each wrist so that there is maximum tension, but no movement;

xv) 11th: now standing in the same doorway, put the palms of your hands against the top of the doorway, while standing on your toes, and try, with your arms and body, to push your heels to the floor, while with your calf and other muscles you resist this movement, so that your heels remain raised, but there is no movement as you exert maximum tension with all your muscles. If you are too short to reach the top of the door frame with your wrists, then stand on a footstool that is high enough, so that you reach the top of the door frame with your wrists; then do this exercise, while standing on the foot stool.

xvi) 12th: now crouch with your back and knees bent, knees one fourth of your height apart, and your arms crossed so that your right hand is holding the outside off your left knee, and your left hand is holding the outside of your right knee and try with your arm and back muscles to pull your knees together, and with your leg muscles, resist this movement so that you achieve maximum tension, yet produce no movement.

xvii) 13th: in the same position as above, your right palm on the inside of your left knee, and your left palm on the inside of your right knee, use your leg muscles to bring your knees together, while with your arm and back muscles you resist this movement so that you build up maximum tension with no movement of any part of your body;

xviii) the next two exercises will be done only after you have fully reached level five in all the first five isotonic exercises; at that time you will drop the first three isometric exer-cises, and do the following two exercises last, after doing all the other previous exercises, other than the first three, so that the previous exercises are now renumbered with a number three counts smaller, and these new exercises become your new numbers 11 and 12; before doing these two new exercises, make sure you always do all the previous exercises in sequence, without skipping any exercises; also make sure that you have been at each level, for at east two days, for the first three levels, and at least two weeks for the next four levels, of the isotonic exercises; this is the only exercise that requires a special prop, which you can make as follows: cut a piece of strong, round wood, at least the thickness of your three largest fingers bunched together, but not thicker than your thumb and four fingers bunched together, to a length exactly equal to one half of your height; for the average 180 centimeter tall man, a 90 centimeter piece of broom or mop handle would do quite nicely, while for the average 170 centimeter tall woman, the same broom or mop handle, cut to 85 centimeters, would do equally well;

xix) new 11th: take this cut broom handle and crouch down so that you can hold the broom handle with a full hand hold curled over the top at each end of the broom handle, which is put across the front of your knees, with the outside of your knees against the inside of your hands; your knees are at least two, spread hand widths apart; now while in the crouched position, so that your arms could extend the broom handle about one twentieth of your height beyond your knees, you pull back on the broom handle with both hands and arms as hard as you can, as if you were trying to pull the broom handle through your knees to the back of your legs, but without any movement of any part of your body; at this point all of your isometrics should produce trembling of your muscles.

xx) new 12th: using the same piece of broom handle, in the same crouched position, put the broom handle behind your knees and hold the ends of the broom handle firmly in each hand with the fingers curled under the broom handle, on the outside of your knees; now try to lift yourself off the floor with all the strength in your arms and back, as if the broom handle would either lift you, or come through to the front of your knees, but with no movement; remember never do these last two exercises until you have reached level five in all the original four isotonics, and then dropped the first three isometric exercises done previously; there are always exactly 13 isometric exercises to be done while below level 5 in any isotonic, and then 12 isometrics when you have reached level 5 in all isotonics; all the isometrics and isotonics combined, should take about ten minutes, but never more than twenty minutes, to do, including breathing time before, between, and after the isometrics; if you do the minimum amount of breathing between the exercises, and work efficiently, you should be able to do all 13 isometric exercises in six minutes, but take as long as is comfortable for you to do these exercises, if you have the time;

xxi) after finishing your 13 or 12 daily isometric exercises, you immediately go on to the four, or five, daily isotonic exercises, after taking at least four, but not more than eight, deep breaths; once you begin the isotonic exercises, breathe normally, in the way that is most comfortable for you, passing immediately from one isotonic to the next, without any resting, until you have finished all four or five of the isotonics; the isotonic exercises will change as you progress in levels, but at each level, for the first four levels, you will have exactly the same time in which to do each exercise, so that all the isotonic exercises together will always take exactly four minutes during the first seven levels; you progress to the next level for each exercise, when you can do that exercise, comfortably, in less than the time allotted, otherwise, you stay put; the exercises should never leave you exhausted, strained, or soaking with sweat; if they do, then you belong in the previous level; you may build up to the next level gradually, by doing an intermediate number of repetitions between the levels in the time allotted;

xxii) the first isotonic exercise is called the "jumping jack"; it consists of starting erect, with your hands at your side, and then jumping up in the air, spreading your legs, and clapping your hands over the top of your head, as you land on your spread feet, then you jump up in the air again, and land on your feet with your legs together and your hands at your side, just as you started. You take 30 seconds total time to do this exercise, and try to spread all the re-petition evenly over the total time for the exercise, Level 1 is two repetitions; Level 2 is four repetitions; Level 3 is eight repetitions; Level 4 is sixteen repetitions; Level 5 is 30 repetitions; Level 6 is 36 repetitions; Level 7 is fifty repetitions in forty five seconds instead of thirty seconds; and level 8 is seventy five repetitions in forty five seconds;

xxiii) the second isotonic exercise is the sit-up, which is done in two different ways depending on the levels; for the first four levels the sit-up is done lying flat on your back on either a mattress pad or thick rug on the floor, with your arms flat on the floor stretched out behind your head; you then bend over from the waste and touch the tips of fingers to your toes, or if you cannot reach your toes, then as far as you can reach, until after several days you can reach your toes; once you have touched your toes, or reached as far as you can, go back to the star-ting position; Level 1 is two repetitions; Level 2 is four repetitions; Level 3 is eight repetitions; Level 4 is ten repetitions; Level 5 is twelve repetitions; Level 6 is fourteen repetitions; starting at Level 7, you change the exercise to lying on your back with your hands clasped behind the back of your head, your elbows pointing upward, and your knees bent up in the air, with your feet flat on the floor; you then bend up from the waist and touch your right elbow to your left knee, and then go back to the starting position, and then bend again from the waist and touch your left elbow to your right knee, then return to the starting position, when you have touched each elbow to each knee, and then returned to the starting position, this is one repetition; Level 7 has eight repetitions in forty five seconds instead of thirty seconds; Level 8 has sixteen repetitions in forty five seconds instead of thirty seconds;

xxiv) the third isotonic exercise is not done until you have fully reached level 5 in all the other isotonic exercises; it will always take exactly 30 seconds and never more nor less; this exercise is called "the squat thrust"; it is done by standing erect with your hands at your side, and then squatting down with your hands flat on the floor between your knees, then you thrust your feet and legs behind you so that your body is supported, at a straight incline, entirely by your hands and your toes; then you jump back into the squatting position; then you jump back into the straight standing position, this is one repetition. At level 5 you do two repetitions of this exercise; at level 6 you do four or more repetitions of this exercise, but not more than you can do in thirty seconds; you drop this exercise at level 7, when you will also drop isotonic number 5 and do a new isotonic, #6, in both their places;

xxv) the fourth isotonic exercise is the "pushup"; depending on your strength and level, you will do one of four different kinds off pushups; the goal in the pushup is to bring your chest to the floor and then raise it as high in the air as you can by pushing against the floor with your hands and arms; this exercise is usually much more difficult for women than for men, but all can do all levels eventually; Level 1 has two repetitions with the whole body, including the stomach and legs, lying on the floor, and only the shoulders being raised as best you can; Level 2 has four repetitions, but is done in the same way as in Level 1; Level 3 has six repetitions, but the stomach and hips are also raised above the floor; Level 4 has eight repetitions but the whole body, except for the hands and toes, is raised above the floor, then rests entirely on the floor between counts; Level 5 has ten repetitions, and is done in the same way as in Level 4, but the body no longer rests on the floor between the pushups; only the chest touches the floor, momentarily, between the pushups; Level 6 is like Level 5 but with twelve repetitions; Level 7 is like Level 6 but with sixteen repetitions in 45 seconds; Level 8 involves thirty repetitions, but with the feet on a chair, the hands on the floor, and the chest just barely touching the floor, but never resting there; the first six levels are always done in thirty seconds; the seventh and eighth levels are done in forty five seconds.

xxvii) the fifth isotonic exercise is called "the skipping in place" it is always done for exactly 2.5 minutes for the first four levels, as if you were skipping an imaginary jump rope with hands on your hips for the first six levels, and then jumping in a different way at the seventh and eighth levels, when you will begin to do the sixth isotonic exercise in lieu of the third and fifth isotonics; at Level 1, you jump ten times; at Level 2, you jump fifty times; at Level 3 you jump 100 times; at Level 4, you jump 140 times; at Level 5 you jump 140 times in 2.0 minutes instead of 2.5 minutes, but you have now added 30 seconds of the third isotonic exercise; at Level 6, you jump 180 times in 2.0 minutes; at Level 7, you go to the 6th isotonic exercise;

xxviii) you start the sixth isotonic exercise, after you have reached level seven, in all the other isotonic exercises, and dropped the third and the fourth isotonic exercise from your morning exercises; the sixth isotonic exercise is called "the jump in place"; you start the sixth isotonic from a slightly crouched position with your hands on top of your head, with your left foot forward and your right foot back, then you jump as high as you can into the air and reverse feet so that you land with the right foot forward and left foot back, then you jump as high into the air as you can again, and reverse feet so that you land in the original position; this is one repetition; you begin at level 7 by doing at least 16 repetitions in 2.0 minutes; you should, eventually, be able to do 40 repetitions in two minutes at level 8, if you have reached Level 8, in all the other levels and the isometric exercises; remember, you no longer do isotonic exercises 3 and 4 when you begin the sixth isotonic exercise.

xxix) one begins the next level whenever one can do the exercises of the previous level in less than the time allocated, without feeling exhausted at the end of the exercise, or any pain in one's body the next day; if when you first start this exercise program, you feel any pain the next day, then stop all the exercises until you feel no pain and cut the number of repetitions in half the next time you do the Level 1 exercises; if you feel no pain next day, then do the regular number of Level 1 exercises; if you still feel pain, then stop all the exercises until you no longer feel pain and repeat the Level 1 exercises again cut to 1/2 the number of repetitions recommended. Almost anyone, who is not disabled, incapacitated, or chronically ill, even those in the poorest physical condition, should be able to do 1/2 the number of Level 1 exercises, without becoming exhausted or feeling any pain the next day. You will not progress to comparable levels in all the exercises at the same rate; most persons progress astest in the jumping-jack, and slowest in the pushups; just be sure you are at level 7 in all the isotonics, before doing the isometrics with the broom handle. NEVER SKIP LEVELS OR CHANGE THE ORDER.

xxx) If you are in really bad shape, begin the Level 1 exercises with 1/2 the number of repetitions. You may be able to move to different levels for different exercises at different rates, as well as exercising between levels. Do not stress yourself; use these criteria to move from level to level. If you are in real bad shape, say more than 100 pounds overweight, and have done almost no exercise for five years, it should take you at least two years to get to Level 8 for all the exercises for a man; women with slight frames may take much longer to reach the same level as a man; but they will get there in time. Once you have been in Level 8, in all the exercises, for four months or more, you will have a champion athlete's body, for your frame, and you should be able to stay there for the rest of our life, if you practice all twelve points that were recommended to Ron on pages 26-28. However, be guided by your physician in these matters, and never push yourself to skip levels, become exhausted, strained, or in pain. When you finish the morning exercises, you should only have a slight sweat, and not be dripping in sweat. You should completely recover, i.e. not feel forced to breathe deeply, with one minute, but not more than two minutes of deep breathing exercises. If you sweat profusely, or take more than two minutes of deep breathing to recover, then you are moving too fast between levels, and should go back to the previous level in all the exercises, or at least between levels for the isotonics.

xxxi) The final part of the morning routine, which is recommended, is to not rest, by lying down or sitting, after the exercises, but instead rest, while doing the deep breathing, by doing the less strenuous task of making your bed, or getting dressed, after giving your body a quick massage with skin lotion or hand cream, while still doing the deep breathing. The daily hot shower, and the new, low animal fat diet you are on, may produce some dryness of the skin, particularly in the hands and feet, this can be eliminated, while further toning your body for the day ahead, by spending a minute or two, while you do the deep breathing, rubbing skin lotion or hand cream first into your hands, then your feet, then your arms and elbows, then your knees and legs; in this order of priority. This helps you rest from your exercises, while doing creative things for your body; you then get dressed and begin your day, sticking to your diet.

I was at level eight in all the exercises, and several more strenuous ones, when I became ill at the end of December in 1969. For 23 years, I could not do even all the level one exercises, without breaking down into coughing spasms; the isometrics, if done correctly, are more exhausting than the isotonics, but the isometrics should never be done without the isotonics. In mid December of 1992, I began these exercises at barely level 1; within two months I was at level five or higher in all the exercises; you should not necessarily expect to progress at this rate; use the feedback I recommend, to go from level to level. My doctor had told me to do no exercise, not even walk, after my heart failure. The safest thing for me, was to regard myself as an invalid, take powerful drugs for the rest of my life, and possibly have multiple bypass heart surgery, after doing extensive, risky, and highly invasive medical tests; she is a good doctor; I am sure she and the cardiologist were giving me the best advice that conventional medical wisdom could muster. I am now healthier, stronger, and more energetic, than any physician could have foreseen less than three months ago. I may never again have heart or artery disease, nor diabetes; I may be immune to cancer and all degenerative diseases, so long as I do not weaken myself with trauma, toxins, or infectious diseases, and Orit and I maintain our Dyadic connection by meditating on each other, at least once per day. Before January, 1995, I will regain the health and body that I had in 1969, and I may go well beyond that. We are "medical miracles".

h) If you do the preceding set of isotonic and isometric exercises every day, while following all 12 points I recommended to Ron on page 26, and guarding against infectious diseases, and toxins, by good hygiene, while avoiding trauma, you can maintain your health, and strength, even if you skip your daily walk or swim; however, you should do your best to walk or swim, without glasses or contact lenses, at least thirty minutes a day, during daylight hours, so that the sun light acts on your pineal gland; then you will have maximum health, strength, stamina, and vitality. The isometrics give you maximum strength, the isotonics give you maximum endurance, and the aerobic walking or swimming exercises, during daylight hours, give you optimum cardiovascular and pulmonary function, which will interact synergistically with everything else you are doing in the twelve points so that you can be maximally creative for the longest possible life span, with minimum morbidity. The isotonics also have aerobic value, but less so than the walking or swimming 30, or more, minutes per day, so that all exercise time is still less than one hour per day; all this is essential for you to be maximally creative and productive.

Do all 13, or 12, isometric and 4 or 5 isotonic exercises everyday, but not more than one cycle per day, at your current level; it does you no good, and may do you harm, to do more than one cycle per day; if you have more time, it is best to spend it walking or swimming; never skip the isometric and isotonic exercises, so long as you are in good health, and your doctor tells you that it is all right; remember you can do all these exercises in as little as ten minutes; they should never take you more than twenty minutes. Some days it may be inconvenient to take your thirty, or more, minute walk or swim, but you should do the daily 15 to 25 minutes of hot showering, self massage, breathing, isometric, and isotonic exercises every day, if you wish to be maximally strong, healthy, energetic, and creative. SKIP YOUR EXERCISES ONLY WHEN YOU ARE TRAUMATIZED, ILL, OR STILL TIRED AFTER YOUR SHOWER. If you have a virus infection, then stop all exercises and rest all you can, for at least one week until you are fully recovered, then re-start the exercises at least one level lower than when you stopped, but stick to the rest of your routines, and take one gram of vitamin C for every 20 kilograms of body weight, spread over 24 hours, plus a megavitamin and mineral supplement, until the viral symptoms disappear, then return to the exercises so long as you are not excessively tired each morning. Do your daily routine, of dieting, hot showering, self massaging, breathing, and exercises, as a meditative spiritual discipline, that communicates to all the cells in your body, and the cosmic force that binds them into coherent whole, that you now love your body, as the temple of your mind and spirit; you will give it the care it deserves, so that you are worthy of vitality, strength, and ever greater creativity.

A complete program for a whole day, including preparing and eating the minimum dietary meals, aerobic, and other, exercises, can be done in as little as one hour, particularly if you learn how to do several of these things, such as breathing exercises and showering or preparing meals, at the same time. Try to do the aerobics every day, but if you are pressed for time, skip only the aerobic walking or swimming; all the rest can all be done in as little as twenty minutes extra over normal daily routines, that you already do anyway; these are the best twenty minutes you will ever invest in your future creativity, health, and absence from pain. See the morning routine, as essential to your well being, as is your sleeping. If you can find six hours per night to sleep, you can find 20 minutes per day to do the other essential things that will contribute almost as much as sleep to your creativity, health, and vitality.

i) Your sleeping time can be optimized by always doing the breathing exercises, as long as you can, before falling asleep, and then resuming the breathing exercises whenever you wake up, until you either fall asleep again, or get out of bed to begin your morning routine. Do your best to sleep only during night time hours and get up at dawn every day. The light stimulates the pineal gland; this produces optimum mental functioning. We are a diurnal species. It is harmful to us to work too long into the night, then sleep during day. Start getting up at dawn and going to sleep early enough in the evening so that you are not deprived of sleep. You should wake up naturally, at dawn, without alarm clocks. The right amount of sleep, is whatever sleep you need to wake up naturally at dawn and feel energetic all day long, without having to take a daytime nap. For most persons, this is at least six hours, but not more than twelve hours, of sleep, per night; listen to your own body and get all the sleep it demands. Napoleon claimed that he only needed to sleep two hours out of every 24, but he was a terrible braggart; you sleep all you need, follow the 12 points, and you will be much more creative than Napoleon.

Your sleeping time, particularly when it is combined with the breathing exercises and the Dyadic Meditations, is among the most creative time of the day, when you shall have the best visions and insights about how to solve the problems which confront you. Use your deep breathing time, while you are in bed, to meditate on the problems that you wish to solve and fulfill your dyadic obligations. You can also use the aerobic walking and swimming for these meditations as well as the breathing exercises, and, in fact, do three or more things simultaneously. At least once per week, but more often, if you have the time, go to sleep at least 12 hours before dawn, and try to sleep as long as you can; it helps not to have any appointments or commitments the next morning; draw the blinds in your bedroom so that you get maximum sleep beyond dawn, if you need it; you should also sleep on as high a quality, firm bed as you can find. You will find that these physical routines will maximize your creativity, health, energy, and your life expectancy.

j) The preceding physical routines will give you enough breathing exercises so that you will rarely have to repeat the breathing marathons that are so useful when you begin the new Creative Transformation process. You should do the four to five hour deep breathing marathons, so long as you are getting significantly new insights as to how to solve problems or otherwise maximize creativity. When the insights and visions you get from the breathing marathons are not significantly better than those that you get at other times, that is the time to stop the marathon breathing. You may try the marathon breathing once every three to six months to see if anything significantly creative happens as a consequence, if not, go back to the routines mentioned in this essay. When repetitive behavior no longer significantly enhances creativity, then it is being turned into a ritual, which makes us happy without making us creative; this is unethical.

k) Practicing all twelve points, which include the tea, diet, and exercise, will reduce your weight, if you are overweight, and increase your weight, if you are underweight. You do not have to pay attention to how much you eat, for your staples, so long as you eat, at least the recommended minimums, and not more than the recommended maximums, of each non staple food group. If you wish to lose weight faster, cut down on grains, legumes, and oils to the bare minimum required, and use vegetables, particularly potatoes, as your staples. If you wish to gain weight, increase your fruits and oils to the maximum, and use grains and legumes as your sole staples.

The physical routine, will quickly take inches off of your waistline, without lowering your weight very fast. This is because, this program quickly substitutes muscle for body fat, and muscle is denser than fat. However, once your muscles are in good shape, the body fat will continue to disappear and your weight will drop rapidly. However, except for an about 10% drop in body weight in the beginning, for those who are very much overweight, you should not expect to loose more than one pound a week for six months, after which you will begin to loose weight more rapidly. However, you will look and feel better almost immediately, and appear slimmer, as if you were losing weight more rapidly. Keep in mind, that your creativity, health, energy, and appearance, in this order of importance, are more important than what you actually weigh. Focus on creativity, strength, and vitality, as the major indicators of your health, rather than your weight or even the esthetics of your appearance. However, this program will also optimize beauty, in terms of what esthetic qualities in your appearance will maximize creativity.

l) If you follow all twelve points, you will eventually not need any medications other than natural herbs. However, if you were on prescribed medication, before beginning the 12 point program, you should continue to work with your physician, just as I have, and slowly wean your-self off of the medication. All prescription drugs, even the best of them, have deleterious side effects, which in the long run will do you more harm than good, once you have begun to practice all twelve points. I did this by establishing a firm base line on my health one month after I began the program; it would have been best to have established this base line the day before I began the program; the base line I had six months ago is so out of harmony with the base line I established in January, that my physicians believe that the data from the earlier time, particularly the heart echograms, were possibly mistaken - you and I know the real reason.

Within one year, under my physician's supervision, but not with her approval, (she still believes in the conventional medical paradigm, and does not understand the Creative Transformation process.) I will slowly wean myself from all prescription medication. I already have eliminated all diabetic drugs, since my blood sugar is now normal. For six months I took daily doses of 160 mg of Lasix, a diuretic, 20 mg of Vasotec, a blood pressure reducer, and two mega doses of a Potassium supplement to replace the Potassium removed from my body by the diuretic. The diuretic was to inhibit the formation of another pulmonary edema and drain fluid from my heart and lungs, the Vasotec also contributed to this, and helped protect against another heart failure, by lowering blood pressure. This medication was, at first, highly effective, then began to fail during the last month prior to November 30, 1992. The first time I tried to cut the medication, in August of 1992, I quickly started to go into heart failure and pulmonary edema again. My physicians told me I would have to take these prescription drugs for the rest of my life.

I have cut my medication by 25%, already. My blood pressure is now the same as it was when I was 21, 110/70. If I did not eliminate these prescriptions drugs, even though they are supposed to have minimal side effects, I would eventually be much more harmed than helped by them. Follow my example, and do the same for yourself, under your physician's supervision, with close monitoring of your health. By the time you can do the exercises at level 8, you should not need any medication, other than the quarterly Elixir for at least one, but never more than two, weeks, and the daily Tonic, for at least four, but never more than, eight weeks, when you are not taking the Elixir; after you have weaned yourself from all medicines and drugs, this is all the medications that you will ever need, except, possibly, antibiotics and treatments for trauma.

Begin a new cycle of Elixir and Tonic at the beginning of each season, March 21, June 21, September 21, and December 21, when the seasonal changes will have maximum effect on the pineal gland, the light sensitive gland at the base of your brain. Never take the Elixir or the Tonic for more than the maximum recommended times of two, and eight, weeks, respectively. These teas, if used in excess, can be irritating, and otherwise harmful, to your body. It is better to err in taking too little tea, than too much. Take the minimums, and then listen to your body.

m) The final, but not least important, physical health recommendation I have, is that you have a loving partner of the opposite sex. The complementarity of your nervous systems will contribute to your health, and your creativity. Have sex with your partner, at the frequency, and in the manner, that is mutually most satisfactory to both of you. If it is not feasible to have a sexual relationship with a loving partner of the opposite sex, have a close friendship, with mutual, tactile affection, with someone of the opposite sex. It is healthier, and more creative, to have affection without sex, than sex without affection. If you cannot, ethically, have a sexual relationship, then have and give an affectionate, non sexual massage from and to your best friends of the opposite sex as often as is desirable for all of you. Affectionate, non sexual massages between persons of the opposite sex are highly therapeutic and creativity enhancing, even when they all, otherwise, have an excellent sex life. We are all sexually incomplete; we complete ourselves, by exchanging complementary sexual information, by touch through love, with someone of the opposite sex. Love is essential to good health; sexual contact is not.

Let the following principles guide you in the matter of sexual ethics:

A FINAL WORD

This essay should have a third part, written by Orit, from her perspective of all these events. Also possibly a fourth part written by Maria, from her perspective, if she would choose to do so, which based on her negative feelings toward me, she is unlikely ever to do. When Orit is completely well, I will encourage her to write her part, then I will translate it and add it to this essay. In the meantime, be careful not to show, let alone give, this essay, to anyone who has not shown a good understanding, of the Creative Transformation process. It will only confuse them, not enlighten them, and may be dangerous to them, if they try to follow the recommendations previously given, particularly the breathing and other exercises, without first doing their best to enter into the Ethical State; use your best judgment as to what maximizes creativity, and follow your intuition; but be careful that you do not injure the weak.

Persons show when they are ready for this essay, by passing through the following filters:

I have now, with this essay and my books, given you all I know and can imagine at this time, for maximizing your creativity. As always I may be wrong, and I welcome your feedback. The rest of my life, will be spent testing this paradigm and its modifications as they occur to me. Much creativity will spin-off from this paradigm. My plan is to divide my resources equally, according to their respective needs, among all of my Dyadic Partners, so as to maximize their creativity. I will do this, whatever their talents and inclinations. If they are artists, I will help set up studios for them, on a cooperative basis, and help market their creations. If they are scientists, I will help them create theories, start their own laboratories, and carry out experiments. If they are inventors, I will help them obtain patents and develop prototypes of their inventions, and then help commercialize them in the most creative way possible. If they are students, I will tutor them and help them study at the schools, which are most likely to maximize their creativity. If they are entrepreneurs, I will help finance them.

All Dyadic Partners should live in close proximity to one another, to facilitate interaction, but keep in touch with, and keep your door open to, those who must live far away from you, e.g. Orit and her family, as well as Stela, and her family, as well as other close friends and associates of mine, are currently obligated to live far from me; I hope to offer them better opportunities closer to me. Eventually the set of all Dyadic Partners shall become a sovereign nation. The Quantum Ark, our other inventions, and our ethical commitment to one another, shall facilitate this process. Within this nation, The Ethical State, we shall build the Moral Society by having a libertarian society, where each Octet is sovereign on its own land, and each member of the Octet, and their dependents, are sovereign, over their bodies and personal property, within each Octet. There shall be no joint or super Octet network activity that was not unanimously agreed to by all the participating Octets.

It seems to me, that the current nation states, all have irreversible entropy and cannot significantly be reformed into libertarian, let alone, ethical societies. The new Creative Transformation, should give all Dyadic Partners, jointly, not individually, the power to do this, even if they are at first limited to a single Octet.

It is not clear where to start the process of nation building. I suggest starting in southwestern Oregon, or northwestern California, where there is already a growing movement and sentiment to secede from the rest of the Untied States. However, there may be reasons for starting it in many other countries such as Mexico, Costa Rica, New Zealand, and Australia. Each of these nations has advantages and disadvantages over the United States. For my part, I am starting, where I am now, in Oregon, because I am already here, have a good piece of property with which to be-gin, can buy more suitable property for less money than in most other parts of the world, and I know of no better place to go. The major disadvantage here is that the State Government is highly interventionist in land development matters, while the Federal Government is becoming more interventionist in everything. The best place to begin The Ethical State, is in the most libertarian environment in the world. Perhaps some of you have some ideas, on which part of the world is more libertarian than here. I would go there, immediately, if I knew about it.

(Postscript written on May 10, 1993. Orit came from Mexico to visit me in Oregon, from April 6, 1993 to April 12, 1993. She has continued to make good progress, but still has trouble forgiving and loving her two enemies -- more Malja than her ex gynecologist now. She helped correct minor errors about our interaction while she was here, but promised to write her own version of what is happening between us. She is still very weak and vulnerable, but healthy. She convinced me to go to Mexico once more from June 1, 1993 to June 15, 1993. She promised she would not ask me to come to Mexico any more. I hope to move to the southwest coast of Oregon, soon, to continue these experiments. The major experiments are (1) how best to communicate the new Creative Transformation process to the maximum number of receptive persons, and (2) to continue developing the Quantum Ark and other inventions.

Next week I will be teaching my first Octet with the new Creative Transformation process. I advertised extensively for students to take the five day course on a 100% guaranteed basis, for a single fee of $200, solely to cover their room and board cost during this period. I am not charging them for my time or for the advertising costs. The advertising costs to obtain a single Octet, of ethically qualified students, were so high that I will no longer be able to advertise extensively. These students, plus another group of students scheduled to take the five day course on July 5, 1993 will be the full extent of this experiment. In the future, students will have to come from word of mouth advertising and a little commercial advertising. I have found that the best media to within which to advertise, are THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, and the California alternative education directories, such as COMMON GROUND. Virtually nothing else produces enough students to justify the advertising costs. And even the best advertising sources produce a net loss. I do not know how best to handle the problem of informing the general public about the new Creative Transformation program, except by writing another book based on this essay.

Please write or call me about your ideas and suggestions on all these matters. You will always find me open minded and responsive. My sole data base for scientifically evaluating the new Creative Transformation process, for the foreseeable future, may consist solely of Orit, the two aforementioned groups of students, the students I will have in Mexico, which will be difficult to make part of any follow-up studies, and myself.

Here is the reproduction of the most efficient advertisement I have developed. It will fit in an approximately 2.25 X 3 inch space. Please feel free to comment on it and give me some suggestions on how I can better reach a larger group of qualified students. My best estimate is that only one in 10,000 persons within the general population will qualify for the five day course. Tell me your best suggestions on how to reach these people. It is a waste of time to teach the new Creative Transformation process to unqualified persons who cannot understand CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION and then make a full commitment to the Game of Life. I value your feedback. Please give me your suggestions. I hope that we can work together.) End of Postscript.

(Missing and irrelevant, since this is not the way to go. Work only with your peers and form Octets at no charge. This will be a good investment of your time and resources in the long run but each Octet may take two or more years to become productive. Most Octets disintegrate within six months. Those who are still interested should be integrated into new Octets until they are stable.)

(Addendum written on April 22, 1994.) Immediately after writing the last postscript, I received a devastating call from Orit. She was extremely distraught because the cancer had appeared again for the fourth time. All the suffering and risk she had undergone, seemed to be for nothing. She was now in the fourth and final level of cancer, and had almost no chance of surviving. It seemed that the chemotherapy and radiation were of little use and she had to try using much more radical, unproven therapies, of which there are many. I pointed this out to her as well as the fact that we never finished our own interactions. We had to properly finish the Dyadic Autopoiesis and she had to finish forgiving her enemies. There were still many new experimental procedures she could try. She calmed down in time and regained her optimism. I was scheduled to go to Mexico to lecture and teach the new Creative Transformation process in June and I had a one week course scheduled with a new group in Oregon for later that week. There was still much to be learned and done.

When I met with Orit in Mexico the next month she managed to fully forgive her enemies and to complete the Dyadic Autopoiesis with me. Within two weeks the seemingly incurable cancer was completely gone and she began to recover in all ways - gaining weight as well as recovering her youthful appearance and beauty over the next year. I was absolutely convinced that when we engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis in Mexico that she would recover and never again get the cancer. She remains the best test case for the new Creative Transformation. Cause and effect are complicated in the case of Orit because at the same time that we performed a complete Dyadic Autopoiesis and she forgave her enemies, she started taking tomoxofin, which is an estrogen like drug, highly effective in preventing the recurrence of breast cancer, but not necessarily in curing it. This drug may be the sole cause for Orit's recovery, but I do not believe it. I have now taught the New Creative Transformation process to over 150 experimental subjects within new, ethically mixed, as well as long established ethical Octets in the United States, Mexico and Chile. I have learned the following:

I have written this addendum to the essay to give you the latest results in this experiment in Creative Transformation. The negative results in my case do not mean that the hypotheses herein are wrong. It may only mean that, I was not the right person to create the Ethical State. Other, more ethical and/or more intelligent persons might succeed where I failed using exactly the same methods. Ultimately we are all defeated solely by our own fear. I now have to learn to overcome the fear I feel at the hopelessness of the human condition every time that I am around persons with negative emotions by taking strength from within myself, and being always conscious of my ethical obligations to my dyadic partners and others. I have to be conscious of my ethical duty to live and continue the struggle for an Ethical State and not take the easy escape of dying. Otherwise I become overwhelmed by a death wish. The best I can do is to continue trying to create as many self-sufficient Octets as possible, each one centered around a Creativity Center that will become a nucleus for a SEE school. I must learn to not surrender to the fear and despair that seems to govern the lives of so many of those with whom I interact. The experiment continues. I will return to the U.S. if it ever seems like a good way to maximize creativity.

(Addendum written June 1, 1995) It took me a year to overcome the depression into which I fell in 1994. My health suffered a lot in this period. However, as soon as I was able to separate myself from the parasites that were accumulating in my life and surround myself with loving supporters of the creative transformation process, my depression disappeared and my health returned. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to avoid persons with negative emotions and to surround ourselves with loving, ethical friends. Otherwise it is much better to work alone. Keep away from persons who reject the evolutionary ethic through their actions or inactions. This is what maximizes creativity.

I sold my interests in Chile, at a substantial profit, synchronistically, before I could sell my interests in Oregon, which I still have. Without in any way seeking to enhance my economic well being, I am now better off economically than I have been in the last 25 years. However, I have continued to travel to Chile and Mexico. There is now considerable support in both countries for my ideas, particularly for a school similar in concept to the one given in Chapter 6 of CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION. About 90% of my support in Chile comes from the Jewish community and about 50% of my support in Mexico comes from Mexican Jews. In both countries the Jews are less than .1% of the population. Most of the rest of my support in Mexico comes from Jesuits and ex-Jesuits. The Jews and the Jesuits were closely and symbiotically affiliated about 400 years ago, when about half the Jesuits were ex-Jews; the two Generals that succeeded St. Ignatius were both ex-Jews, then, in alarm, the Pope forbade the Jesuits from recruiting any ex-Jews. Through me the Jews and the Jesuits seem to be coming together again. This was not something that was readily predictable from my first steps on this journey 25 years ago, although it was implied in my first book.

When my depressed state of 1994 threatened to damage my health to the point of my own death, I became very concerned about what this would imply for Orit and other women who have engaged in Dyadic Autopoiesis with me. It then became clear that what dies when one of our dyadic partners dies is the synergistic enhancement of our life that we had with that partner, and not necessarily our own life that ends. Therefore, we should engage in Dyadic Autopoiesis with all qualified persons and not fear either the responsibility nor the consequences of their deaths on us, if they fail to transcend their own fear. We can only win and never lose by loving others.

I have now done the breathing exercise with about 300 persons. I have had about three negative results in the forms diarrhea and vomiting with about three persons who were of a nervous nature,but not otherwise unhealthy. In general persons who do the breathing exercises seem to succeed more in autopoiesis than persons who do not do them. Therefore, these exercises will continue and should continue as part of the Creative Transformation process, with the proper caveats as previously mentioned. The benefits are worth the risks, so long as persons are properly informed and make their own decision prior to the exercises.

At this time, my major support for the cause of an Ethical State is in Mexico, but it also seems strong in Chile. I will probably go to live in Mexico, but I may also continue to work in Chile and in Oregon. The final outcome can still not be seen by me. I will continue to do what, in my judgment will maximize creativity. Please keep in touch with me, for updates on this voyage.

(Update 10DEC95 Fall Creek) I traveled to Mexico in July and then again for another month in Mexico and Chile in September and October. Things in Mexico are going extremely well. The Octets have become better integrated than at any other time. They may now be self-catalyzing. We now have six Octets in the Mexico City area, two in Guadalajara and one each in Torreon and Saltillo. Much of this success is due to my Jewish associates in Mexico City, particularly Orit and an Architect whom I met through her by the name of Irwin Yeroham (real name). Irwin has done wonders in organizing the Octets in Mexico City and in helping me make the best of my lecture tours.

The translation of CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION into Spanish is almost finished and edited, with the help of a Mexico City Octet. Although the bulk of the translation was done in Chile. Only one of my translators in Chile did a good job. He was Erwin Conte (real name). However, even his work required extensive editing fortunately this is getting done in Mexico. The person most responsible for this editing is Vera-Aida Gonzalez (r.n.)

I am having some economic problems in Chile, because I allowed my banker Jorge Contuliano (r.n.) to place my assets in a guaranteed private investment, and he has defaulted on his guarantees, which is a felony in Chile. After his stalling me for six months, I have reluctantly started legal proceedings against him. The prospects do not look good. The important ethical lesson I have learned from this is to never enter into any kind of an interdependent relationship with anyone who does not understand or appreciate C.T.

I have now taught the C.T. process to a total of about 600 persons in Mexico and Chile. Again the response is excellent, particularly among the Jewish community. The Jesuits also continue to be very supportive. The deleterious results still seem to be minor and limited to 1% of the students or less. However, my instincts are still to be very careful, and not to put people at risk without first informing them of the danger, and then watching them very carefully during the breathing exercise to make sure that they do not have a psychological or physiological chrisis. For over 99% the breathing exercise seems to be a purely positive experience with no deleterious side effects other than a numbing of the hands and/or feet which is greatly relieved by breathing more slowly.

I had a Diadic Autopoiesis in June with a long time friend by the name of Molly Brady. She had taken an early Creative Transformation seminar with me in 1985, and remained in slight touch with me until last year, when we began to become closer friends at her initiative. By last June we were very close, then she told me that she had incurable, metastasized lung cancer. I suggested that she carefully read C.T. and then participate with me in the breathing exercise and the dyadic autopoiesis after reading this essay as of last June. She did this, although she did not seem to understand C.T. very well. However, we did the exercises because she seemed so ill that she was not likely to live another week. She was on a respirator and was dying quickly Her doctor told her that there was nothing that could be done for her, other than to make her make her comfortable with drugs and oxygen.

Within two weeks she was off the respirator and all signs of cancer had disappeared; her physicians were mystified. She now became open to all kinds of unconventional medicine. She told me that she was going to go to Tijuana to receive a treatment. I felt that this was wrong, but could not say why. Perhaps I saw it as an unnecessary treatment and a lack of confidence in me. I did not know what to do, so I did nothing.

I then went to Chile to take care of my business and see if I could save anything. I eventually was able to save about 80% under adverse terms which required that I be paid out with no interest over a period of three years. It was better than nothing, and I had nothing to gain by putting Jorge in jail, where he could pay me nothing. I immediately received about 20% of what he owed me, and came back to the US after giving some seminars in Chile which were very well received by the University community.

When I returned to the US Molly told me that she decided that she did not want to live and that she had been trying to cheat death. She had joined the hemlock society and seemed very attracted to death, but she looked alright and did not need a respirator. I asked her if there was anything I could do, pointing out that we have an obligation to live so long as we are capable of creative work. She told me she just wanted to die and said goodbye. Two days later she was dead by her choice. I suspect she committed suicide, but did not pursue this with her family, with whom I had become friendly.

I felt bad about all of this and thought that perhaps if I had not gone to Chile and stayed with Molly, she might have chosen to live. However, we cannot live other people's lives. I took this as one more limitation on Dyadic Autopoiesis, which is not a panacea against our own death wish.

Last Entry Into this Essay February 17, 1997

A lot of things have happened since the last entry. I have gone to Chile several times and many times to Mexico. Things are moving much faster in Mexico, where we seem to be achieving critical mass. I have decided not to travel to Chile anymore where I continued to have problems with people who kept breaking their word to me, most of all with Erwin Conte who had been my manager and translator in Chile. Although I met fine people in Chile, every agreement I made that involved money was broken by the other party. I will never invest there again, but I will invite those worthwhile Chilenos I met to join me in Mexico and/or the US. Mexico has great potential and the Octets in Mexico are creating the school, as outlined in my book at their own initiative.

As I have learned to teach the Creative Transformation process and the breathing exercises, there does not seem to be any great danger, but there have been minor problems. We must be very careful in teaching the breathing exercises and Dyadic Autopoiesis. I select very carefully to whom I teach the Dyadic Autopoiesis from my students who have been successfully in an Octet for at least six months. Some will take much longer, before they are ready for Dyadic Autopoiesis.

For myself, I have learned that my health is very delicate. If I have to interact for any protracted time with persons who appear to be unethical, I get sick again. As soon as I can be alone for a while in Oregon, I get better. When I travel I am forced to interact with bureaucrats and people at random; this seems to cause a great deterioration in my health.

If I am going to regain my health, I must stop traveling. Therefore, I plan to go to live near San Diego, California, on either the US or Mexican side of the border so that my Mexican, Chilean, and other Latin American associates have better access to me. People who come to visit me from Latin America often, but not always, have a lot of trouble with the Immigration and Naturalization Service.

The single best thing that I seem to be able to do for my health is to be around people who share my values and are loving with me, and avoid everyone else. I will try to live this way in the future. I have a very loving relationship with the Octets in Mexico. For that reason I will be physically closest to them. A marine climate that is not too hot seems best for me. If I can keep up my desire to live, I should be a good test of the ideas in this essay. But the best tests are the lives of Orit and the other women I have helped with deadly or crippling diseases.

One last point I have discovered is that the Dyadic Autopoiesis seems to be more effective when our Dyadic partner is someone with whom we are NOT sexually involved and never will be. But it works with both types of partners. There also seems to be an accumulative effect from the Dyadic Autopoiesis. It seems that pure love unadulterated by sex is the best medicine there is. Love with sex is the second best medicine. Sexual partners have too much mutual interest in each others welfare, so that they cannot be totally selfless in Dyadic Autopoiesis.

4SEP98

I just returned from a 10 day lecture and seminar tour in Hawaii, mostly Maui & Hawaii. I learned some things from interacting with others there:

In Hawaii I also met Vernon Woolf, a psychotherapist who has developed a psychosocial theory based on the David Bohm model of reality, which bears a very superficial resemblance to Creative Transformation. However, I found Vernon extremely defensive about his method with no goal other than power for himself and his students. Worst of all he seemed to totally disregard the ethical consequences actions, which he said all lead to a higher good including murder and rape, which he sees as an act of love. Basically he is selling love without ethical responsibility in a nihilistic context where everything goes.

28SEP98

One of my best students in Hawaii, whom I shall call Gabriel, is seriously ill, with what appears to be a degenerative disease, vascular tumors. I will be interacting with him either in Oregon or in Hawaii to teach him and his partner Dyadic Autopoiesis. I will record the results in this essay, later.

28MAR2000

Gabriel had advanced cancer. The tumors receded, notably, after the Dyadic Autopoiesis with a volunteer. But Gabriel was already very weakened, and he eventually died. His partner, who is a healer, will be writing about this experience. Her name is Joy Gardner.

I moved to Mexico October, 1999, after selling the house in Oregon. Things went fairly well in Mexico, and my health greatly improved. I attribute this improvement to all the love I received in Mexico from my many students. Love seems to be the best medicine there is. Sleep is a close second, and exercise and a good diet are third..

In mid December, 1999, while still in Mexico, I became very ill, apparently because of a metabolic disorder that was a consequence of my diabetes. However, I was misdiagnosed as having had a stroke and a psychotic break. I was given psychotropic drugs that almost killed me. I could not sleep, and was dead tired all the time, getting worse every day. I thought I would die any day.

Finally, I returned to the US in mid January. I was correctly diagnosed, and quickly taken off of the psychotropic drugs, and began to recover. I am now much better, but not quite as well as I was, before I got sick in Mexico. I continue to get better, but I may not get well enough to return to Mexico. The complications from my diabetes are difficult to diagnose and treat. I get good health care in San Francisco, where I now live with Bernice. But it seems that I cannot get adequate health care in Mexico. I will continue to add to this essay, when appropriate.

My health has improved sufficiently, that I have now undertaken four new projects. I am expanding and improving my website, www.see.org, with the great help of Ron Wolfe. I have begun putting down on paper my new book on Political Ethics; it is about 2/3 finished (and 1/2 posted). I am working with Russell Brand to develop a school for young children based on the educational concepts in CREATIVE TRANSFORMATION; it will be located in Silicon Valley. With my old friend and publisher, Tony Parrotto, I am developing a commercial website, Mazeway.com, to promote some of my ideas to a wider audience than can be reached by see.org. My life is going well, as my health improves.

John David Garcia, 1992, All rights Reserved.