Here's my opinion on -- TIES! It seems that many societies equate dignity, professionalism, stability, and other positive traits to those who wear ties. A tie is a badge of acceptability. If you are wearing a tie you have credibility. A tie sets a teacher above his students. All it takes is a tie to make you dignified.
Oh? Really?
OK. Let's talk about ties.
Just what kind of ties are you referring to?There are railroad ties. And cable ties. And Al Qaeda ties. Oh... that's right... we are talking about ties around a man's neck.
Like this?
Formal ties..... organization ties..... Western ties..... Alan Flusser wrote a short but pithy history of neckties. It's slanted, of course, because he runs a tie business. You can read it here.
Silly ties..... Stupid ties..... Too many ties.....
And way too many ties!
Ties can even be bad for your health (no kidding!)
But my opinion (which is all that counts here!) is that it is really dumb to tie something around your neck that has no purpose whatsoever. So I don't. Ever. For any purpose. Period. Got it?
And never trust a man who wears a tie! He has already sold his soul.
There is only one good use for ties as far as I am concerned:
(This opinion has been amended!! See below.)
Am I alone in my attitude toward ties? I think not! Here are some e-mail comments I have received about this page. Feel free to contribute!
Tyler from China writes:
"By the way, loved the section on your page about ties! You know there is a theory that it was actually a pregnant woman who invented the first tie as a way to get back at her husband. They go through labor pains, but we must go the entirety of our adult lives with something choking us all day every day...."Tim from Indonesia writes:
"I understand your dislike for ties. I don't particularly enjoy them myself (they are uncomfortable) but I choose to wear them because it is professional business attire. I often take them off as soon as I get in the car to go home in the afternoon. Some of your objections for wearing a tie could also be applicable to other business attire. Do you have any objections to wearing dress shirts (or any other article of clothing) that may also convey similar messages as ties?"OK, Tim, just what message does wearing a tie convey? That you are forced to undergo discomfort as a sign of submission? That there is no other way to determine if you are "professional" and know what your are talking about? If I knew what the legitimate message was, I'm sure I could find a better way to express it."Dear Abby", published in our local paper on the 10th of February, 2004, had a humerous and practical take on the subject of disposing of a departed loved one's ties. I have extracted the text here for your amusement.
I have found numerous sites on the internet, expressing opinions of neckwear, so I will reproduce them here. Click here for an index.
The BBC recently posted an article about why Iranians don't wear ties. The British Naval crew that was released from Iranian captivity in April 2007 was sent home in suits, but no ties. Here is the reason.
OK, here's an even better use for a tie - Jennifer Aniston
(January 2009 GQ Magazine):
"NEVER TRUST A MAN WHO WEARS A TIE!!"
